Safe Haven
by FrozenSoldier
Summary: Alice is completely alone, as vampires are not allowed to have friends. But what happens when she meets the one family she hadn't anticipated on meeting? What happens when she realises what you can't have, you can't resist? AU/OOC
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

The first time I tasted human blood was indescribably satisfying. As soon as I had quenched my thirst I once again craved the delicious pain that accompanied my thirst. It was the consuming fire in my throat that first started my feeding frenzy.

That was years ago though. And I had fed on human blood since then. The desire was further fuelled by the mouth-watering scent of my prey. It was a scent that I rarely resisted.

I had travelled alone for the majority of my newborn years. I'd hated that time with a wild passion. Never again did I want to experience that loneliness, with only the thrills of communicating with others who inevitably ended up as my prey. But even those moments were too short lived. I did not wish to relive the withdrawal I had from interacting with humans, especially the humans that I wasn't intending on making my meal.

For seven long and lonesome years I had travelled alone. In that time I had slowly learnt how to control my thirst from the crazed newborn that I had become. And gradually, I fell into a disgustingly slow routine.

Waiting. Hunting. Feeding.

I hadn't believed that there were others of my kind, not until I met them. It was only when I discovered the Volturi Coven, purely by accident, did I realise that I wasn't alone. But it was only when I realised I wasn't alone, that I met someone else, someone more important to me than what I could ever imagine.


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: Chapter 1!**

**Firstly, I'll explain a few things…**

**Alice is a vampire and has been for seven years. She is out of character, and quite extremely so at times. There are no Cullen's, and no vegetarian vampires. Well, not yet at least.**

**The Volturi are not the Volturi that we know and love. But you'll notice that some of the names are the same, such as Marcus. Other names will crop up later on as the story progresses. But mainly I used the name Volturi just to show that they have a lot of power in what they do.**

**Thank you to Project Team Beta for helping me out with this chapter. They are so helpful.**

**Disclaimer****: I'm not Stephenie Meyer and I never will be. **_**Twilight **_**isn't my story, Alice isn't my creation and the Volturi isn't a name I came up with. But Casper is my own creation. **

* * *

**Chapter 1 - Forever a Jane Doe**

I became aware of the scent instantly, even though I was still over a mile away. I was unsure as to what it was I could smell. I knew it was human, but this scent had a twist. This scent was something new. And so I ran.

My speed still amazed me, even after seven years of using it to my own advantage, I was still surprised sometimes at how _fast_ I could really go. It was exhilarating to watch the trees fly past me in a blur of greens and browns. But this time I didn't care for my surroundings. I didn't get my exhilaration from them, for the hunt was on.

The scent continued to grow stronger as each second passed. I only stopped running when I knew that I was close enough. I came to a sudden stop behind a large canopy of trees. And after inhaling, I knew that my prey stood only metres away from me. I could _feel_ it.

The burning I was experiencing felt like a hot iron being forced down my throat. But I welcomed that pain. Because the poor unsuspecting human that was only metres away from me had the sweetest blood I had ever experienced in my vampire existence. It was a male, of that I was certain. I smiled with anticipation – this was going to be just _too_ easy.

I pushed my way through the canopy, easily brushing away the branches that stood in my way before stepping out into the clearing. His scent was a thousand times stronger now that nothing was blocking it. The venom pooled in my mouth as I inhaled his saccharine scent.

He hadn't noticed me yet. I was too quiet for him to notice me. I planned my introduction perfectly as I walked towards him. I would ask for his help and I smile at him, knowing exactly how this affected humans. I knew he would help me, they always did. Then once he was close enough to touch, he would be mine. His _blood_ would be mine.

"Excuse me," I exclaimed. My voice was musical, like wind chimes. He jolted as I spoke, before turning to look at me. His expression told me that he wasn't expecting to find anyone else out here with him. Yet here I was.

I watched as he processed my appearance. I knew he was surprised to see a _girl_ like me here. But that wasn't what caught my attention. He was young and beautiful. _Such a waste_, I thought to myself.

"What can I do for you?"he enquired. His voice wavered and broke as he finished his sentence. He took a step towards me. I instantly told myself that this was a bad move – for him. I inhaled deeply, letting his scent burn through my veins, making my stomach twist with hunger.

"I believe that I am lost. I took a wrong turn on the trail, and before I knew it, I was completely lost,"I told him. A smile played across my lips as he looked me up and down. I could tell that he was noticing how my designer clothes were unscathed. There were no indications that I had been walking for hours through the woods. But I didn't care for small realisations like those.

I took a step closer to him, still smiling. He didn't flinch away from me, because he saw that I was no threat to him. If he had any sense, then he should have moved away from me as quickly as he could. Not that I would have let him get away.

"You see I've been walking for hours. I'm so thirsty,"I murmured, my voice low and seductive.

Understanding what he _thought_ I meant, he hurried to his bag. The movement propelled his scent into my face, and I knew that I couldn't wait any longer. I took a step closer to him so that when he turned back to me, he was close enough for me to touch him.

His heart rate tripled when he turned back to me. He hadn't been anticipating the closeness between us. He gingerly held out his bottle to me, which I took, still smiling at him. But I had no intention of drinking the _water_ at all.

"Thank you,"I said, my voice barely a whisper.

I let my breath blow into his face and watched as his eyes glazed over. He stood there completely stunned and unable to move. This was going to be even easier than I thought. I took another step towards him so that we were practically touching.

I leaned into him and inhaled the scent of his blood as it pulsed quickly beneath his skin. I felt the excess flow of venom in my mouth. I wanted his blood more than anything.

And then I heard it. It was so faint that I didn't even really know what it was. But what I did know was that something or someone was coming. I immediately stopped my movements and inhaled deeply, trying to take in any new scent. But the presence of this human in front of me intoxicated me and I was unable to smell anything more.

I leaned away from the motionless human, maybe more quickly than I should have done, but I didn't care. There was something coming and I _had_ to find out what it was.

I stepped to the side of him so that my sight wasn't blocked. I looked in the direction of where I thought the sound was coming from. I scanned the trees, not seeing anything else at first, but I was certain I could still hear it coming closer.

Then suddenly, from the corner of my eye, I saw them cross through the canopy into the clearing. There were three of them. Under any other circumstances, I wouldn't have worried about three oppositions. But there was something about the way that they moved towards us that vexed me.

And then I remembered. _Us_.

I turned my head sharply towards the feeble human that was standing next to me. He wasn't yet aware of the three new arrivals in the clearing. Instead he was staring at me with a look of pure terror and fear finally etched across his face. I knew immediately that I was the reason for this fright.

I could see my reflection in the wide mirror of his pale green eyes. I saw the pale face that was pulled into a grimace. I saw the way my upper lip curled higher, baring my teeth. And finally I saw the deep red piercing eyes that showed wickedness other features could only aspire to.

I could tell he wasn't able to even let out the smallest of screams as he started to back away from me in absolute horror. If I hadn't been watching him so intently I wouldn't have noticed the way his eyes flickered quickly towards the company that had now joined us in the clearing.

Instantly, I glanced towards them myself. I immediately regretted it as I noticed that the three newcomers were gliding even closer. It was then that I heard the sound of feet pounding rapidly against the grass. My prey was escaping. I turned just in time to watch him forcing his way through the trees and out of sight. I let a low growl escape my lips as I knew that the most delicious smelling human I had ever met was going to get away from me.

I knew full well that I could have chased after him; it would have been all too easy to race after him, using my speed against him. He wouldn't have stood a chance at outrunning me. But something was stopping me. Something was drawing me to the three rapidly approaching people. And I didn't understand what.

As I turned to face them, I realised that they were approaching a little _too_ rapidly. Never had I seen another human _walk_ that quickly. And yet the three newcomers were gliding almost gracefully towards me. I had only ever known one person to have moved like that. It was strange seeing others move the way I did.

All thoughts of my lost prey disappeared as I took in each of their appearances as they continued to glide towards me.

The eldest was in front. He was tallest of the three and quite clearly the leader of the group. His hair was a thick dark brown mess of wavy curls upon his head. He wore almost all black with only his leather jacket on top.

The second male was obviously much younger. His face was pinched, matching his small features. His lips were curled into a wicked grin as he watched me. I _should_ have been intimidated by him alone. His hair was jet black and short, but messy, apart from his fringe. His clothes were different from the first male's. He wore the same black fitted trousers, yet on top he wore a thin white shirt covered with a larger bluish grey coat. It was similar to something from the military.

The final person was a woman. Her hair was long and white. It blew in the wind as she moved towards me. Her clothes were the most extravagant of the three. She wore a long silver and black dress that flowed to her feet. Over the top she wore a thin black shirt that also flowed to her feet. My fashion conscious eye told me that she too wore designer clothes that didn't fit with our surroundings. In any other case I would have enjoyed wondering where her clothes were made. But not today, I couldn't care less about her clothes now.

But what came to my attention the most was the fact that each of them was strikingly beautiful. Each of them had pale white skin, just the same as I had.

For the first time in seven years I wanted to run. I wanted to run into the confines of the trees where they wouldn't be able to see me. And yet I didn't. I knew that running was still a possibility. They _could_ follow me, but I would be long gone before they got to the trees, surely?

But instantly I knew that I couldn't turn away and run. Not now that they had stopped only ten metres away from me. Each of them was staring at me intently, with far more interest than necessary, especially considering my species.

Not one of us moved as the intense silence pushed against us. I could almost taste the anticipation that emanated from the three strangers. Finally, the silence was broken as the tallest in the middle turned his head sideways towards the younger man next to him. It chilled me when I realised he never let his eyes leave mine.

"What do you think, Casper?"he questioned. He sounded as if he was intrigued as he stared at me.

The grin never once left the younger man's face. Casper, his name was Casper. Yet even as he answered the older man's question he never once let his eyes leave mine either.

"She's certainly got similarities. Maybe we should tempt her. See what she can do," he replied. The tone of his voice confused me further. It was as if he'd take pleasure in tempting me.

I disliked how he talked about me, as if I wasn't there. The anger bubbled up inside of me, and the flow of venom swirled within my throat. But strangely it was as if I didn't _want _to drink their blood. And then it hit me… their scent. It was the same scent that I had smelled earlier. The scent that I thought was human yet with a twist. It was then that I realised that the scent had been a mixture of my long lost prey with these three strange beings that were still discussing me.

"What do you think, Shadow?"He had turned to the white haired female that was beside him. Once again, he never took his eyes off me as he addressed the one I now knew to be Shadow.

"Well she certainly looks like one. Just look at her eyes. She must be no more than ten years of age, possibly less," she mused cocking her head sideways as she spoke.

I was unable to move as I watched Shadow try to work out _what_ I was. It bothered me how she had guessed correctly. I had been like I was now for less than ten years. But that wasn't what troubled me. It was the fact that they knew what I was. They knew about vampires.

The leader sighed and faintly shook his head. I wasn't sure what this was a response to. "There seems to be enough tangible evidence to prove that she is what we think she is. I wonder…"

And then for the first time he looked at me as if he was about to address me but I was prepared for whatever they threw at me. If they knew what I was, then they must know that they were in danger. They must welcome the danger that they so willingly placed themselves in.

"What is your name?" he asked in an irritatingly calm voice. I clenched my teeth in anger. I was not expecting to be asked the one question I knew I wouldn't be able to answer. I hadn't gone by a name, not for seven years now. I was forever known as a Jane Doe.

"I gather your silence means that you do not know your name?" he mused. Casper chuckled devilishly at his side.

"We shall name her then!" Shadow exclaimed. She seemed very eager to name me. What a strange creature she was. But she was soon silenced by their leader.

"Silence, Shadow," he scolded. "Let the girl speak."

"Who are you?" I demanded, verbalising the one question I had in my mind from the start. What aggravated me more was Casper rolling his eyes at me.

"Always the same with the questions. Who are you?"Casper's head tilted to the side as he finished his sentence. To a human he'd be truly intimidating. As I thought about the human, the face of the young male I'd been hunting only moments ago flashed across my mind. But I rid the image from my mind immediately.

"…what do you want?"Shadow's melodic voice reached my ears as she too started to list the same questions they always seem to hear. It infuriated me even further. Why could they not just answer the questions instead of playing these stupid games?

"…why are you doing this?"Casper murmured. His words sent a small chill down my spine. I didn't know why it sounded familiar to my ears.

The leader, who still remained unnamed, chuckled slightly at what they had said. His laughter only made the anger boil furiously beneath my granite skin. He was making it very hard for me to not tear his head from his body. I wondered if he would notice me flexing my fingers.

"Calm down young one," he began as he raised his hands out in front of him. "My name is Marcus. This is Shadow and Casper. And together we make the Volturi Coven."

His soothing words did nothing to calm me down. In fact, it made me clench my fists in anger, but I knew that I had to stand my ground because if I attacked him, I knew that his coven would react. And even though I would take immense pleasure in ending their miserable lives once and for all, I knew that it would be a challenge for me to take on three at a time.

"She's a very angry one she is. I like her," Casper exclaimed in a disgustingly sleazy voice. I didn't like the way that he talked about me as if I was a prize he was trying to win.

"I think she has potential. If she were to join our-"Marcus began. His tone was thoughtful, as if he was really contemplating it. But I stopped him before he could finish.

"I'm not joining anything!"I spat at them, wrath dripping from every word. The venom was pretty evident in my voice now and yet none of them flinched away from my words, much to my own disgust.

"She has kick,"Casper mused, clearly pleased with what he saw. The low growl that had been growing in my chest escaped my lips. I would start with Casper first. Even if I died trying, it would be a consolation that I took him down with me.

"Do not anger her, Casper. She's still a newborn compared to us. She could well be faster than us, stronger also. Your life does not mean enough for me to defend you if it comes to a fight."

I sneered at Casper as I watched the grin fall from his face for the first time. I would _definitely_ start with Casper first.

"Young one, we did not come here to start a fight with you," Marcus continued, still with the composed voice.

"What are you doing here then?" I demanded. But I knew already that he would not answer my question.

"Always with the questions…" Marcus said with a sigh. Almost as if he was tired that this wasn't going the way he obviously wanted it to.

The chuckle that followed from Casper forced a second growl from my lips, but this time it was louder and more prominent. Shadow flinched away from me. It was only a small reaction, but that was all I needed.

"This anger you have, it is very…promising. If channelled correctly you could be very useful to us," Marcus deliberated. I couldn't hide the look of revulsion on my face at his remark.

"What if I don't want to join your coven?" I said. He watched me as a look of mystification spread across his face. It was as if he thought my response was completely absurd.

"I cannot comprehend why you would not want this," he replied. His tone indicated that he thought what he was saying was perfectly obvious. "Do not tell me you have not been feeling alone. We know that you don't have anyone."

"How do you know I don't have someone else with me?" I said, my voice taking on a defensive tone. I didn't like how right he was. "How do you know I haven't just come here alone?"

How I wished that what I had said was true. Oh how I wished that there was someone out there who wanted to be my companion, and not just someone I had hunted.

"We know because we have been watching you. We have been curious for a while as to whether you really are one of us. As well as if you have any companions. We have come to the conclusion that you don't and never have done either."

I clenched my teeth at the mocking tone in his voice. But that wasn't what caught my attention. He said one of us.

"One of us?" I hated how I spoke my inner thoughts aloud.

"Oh come on, is it not obvious?" Casper scoffed. I looked at him blankly as he finished. Of course it had been obvious to me, I just didn't believe it. I wanted to, but I had been alone for too long.

"Have you no knowledge at all?" he cried while shaking his head in disbelief. That small lapse of eye contact gave me the advantage that I was looking for.

I didn't stop to think about what I was doing as I launched myself at him. His scoffing had taken me to the end of my tether and the only thing I saw myself doing was attacking him. Even with Marcus's previous confession of saying he wouldn't stop me, I was surprised that he allowed me to fully carry out my attack. I had thought in the back of my mind that he would have stopped me.

But as my perfectly precise attack landed myself on top of the unsuspecting Casper, they were the ones to be surprised. I was faster than any of them had anticipated. Even Casper was unable to move as I pinned him down with all my strength. I held both his hands by the side of his head as I leaned into him, so that his face was only inches away from mine.

"You want me to rip your head clean off?" I threatened in a deadly voice. "Because trust me, I would be more than happy to oblige."

It's a shame really, because I _wasn't _lying. But I also knew that I _wasn't _about to rip his head off, no matter how much pleasure I would have taken in doing so. Instead I stood up without helping him and turned to Marcus. I stared deep into his pitch black eyes, challenging him to say something. But he didn't.

"You even try to follow me and he will lose his head," I hissed. "You have my word on that."

All he did was smile warmly at me as I turned away from him. But just as I was about to run into the trees, he said the last thing that I hoped I would ever hear from them. Somehow I knew that wasn't going to happen.

"We will not follow you now. But when it comes to the time that you need us or when you realise that you _will_ join our coven. We will be there. You have my word on that."

I didn't turn to acknowledge what he said. Instead, I quickly sprinted into the forest, making the space between us larger with each step. I didn't stop for I didn't need to. I didn't even look back. I just kept running and running… and running.

* * *

**A/N****: So, what did you think? You like? You hate? Let me know what you think in the form of a review.**

**Casper and Shadow are both my own creations. I guess I could have had the three vampires being James, Victoria and Laurent. And it would have worked if I'd used those three. But I chose to use Marcus from the books and then create two of my own characters.**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N****: Chapter Two :)**

**Check out the banners I made for this story, the link is on my profile.**

**If any of you are wondering what Casper looks like, then Google Gaspard Ulliel. He is kind of what I envisioned him to look like.**

**I'd like to mention that in this story, 'my' vampires do not have total recall. The beta's from PTB asked me about it, so I thought I'd make it clear that the vampires in this story, or at least Alice, doesn't have total recall. True to cannon, Alice doesn't remember who changed her, nor is she familiar with her human life.**

**I love Project Team Beta, they have some skilled people as their beta's.**

**Disclaimer****: What I do own: **The dodgy thief, and the awesome yet evil Casper.** What I don't own: **The lovely Jasper Whitlock, Alice, and any other Twilight related characters/names.

* * *

**Chapter 2 - Jasper Whitlock Hale**

It was harder to find him than I thought it would be, however, I could remember his scent as if he were still in front of me. It still burned my throat and just by thinking about it made venom pump through my body.

It was just thinking about _him, _not his scent, but actually thinking about him as a person that was the problem. Because whenever I thought about _him,_ or thought about his face in particular, I always saw the expression he wore when he saw the monster inside of me. That thought alone sometimes knocked the selfish desire I had for his blood right out of my mind.

This only lasted for a while before I would stop myself from imagining him. I just let my mind roam in the sweet scent of his blood. But as the weeks turned into months, the scent of his blood got weaker and weaker, until suddenly I was unable to recall his scent anymore.

No matter how hard I tried to remember his scent, I just couldn't. Yet there was one thing I knew I would never forget, and that was his face. His beautiful, youthful face upturned in a terrified grimace that I couldn't forget. And it terrified me because I hadn't experienced anything like this before. I had never cared about the people I hunted, all except for him, the one who survived.

I went back to the place where we met, trying to see whether his scent was lingering there. But it wasn't. It was in that moment that I realized how obsessed I was becoming with this human boy. He was consuming nearly all my thoughts, and the obsession was only going to get worse.

In the back of my mind, I was worried that the coven would show up again. They had promised that they would only show up when I needed them, or when I knew that I wanted to join them. But I didn't _want_ to join them. So I hoped they enjoyed disappointment, because that was all that they would be feeling.

Yet sometimes I allowed my mind to wander, to allow myself to think about what it would be like to be around others of my kind. But I didn't want that. I didn't want to be part of a coven that gave me the constant urge to tear their pathetic heads off.

* * *

My throat burned uncontrollably as I followed my prey down the dark road. He was not aware of me. I was too silent for his human ears to hear me. I was too fast for him to see me if he turned around.

As soon as I was close enough, I pounced and silently pulled him into the darkness. It all happened so fast that he wasn't even able to produce the smallest of screams. I always tried to make their demise as quick and painless as possible. I _was_ a monster, but I wasn't a sadistic one. I at least tried to make their last moments painless I didn't take pleasure in hearing them scream in pain.

This time was just the same as all the rest. He cried out as his body squirmed helplessly underneath me. It lasted for only for a few seconds as I sank my teeth into his soft skin. And then his body went limp. I hungrily fed on the blood of the man that I had just killed.

I disposed of the body quickly, trying not to feel the harsh reality of the fact that yet another man would remain missing forever. It was just like all the rest of the humans that I had killed. They would all have families that would lose the one they loved, because of me.

Not wishing to be in the area any longer than necessary, I started to run, letting my body take me wherever it wished. The feeling of my feet pounding silently along the floor exhilarated me, and I couldn't help but laugh to myself as I ran effortlessly through the night.

By that point, I wasn't looking out for any scent, let alone _his_ scent.

It hit me full on as I ran into the wind. I stopped dead in my tracks as I realized that I had found him without even looking. At least, I _thought_ it was him. I turned around, trying to work out which direction his scent was coming from. I found the direction very easily, being apparently quite attuned to the boy's scent. As if whenever I was caught in it, I just had to find the source. I _had_ to find him.

I followed the trail for what seemed like hours. I knew that the anticipation of seeing him again was clouding my mind, because in truth I had only been walking for minutes. I heard him first, except that he wasn't alone. There was another man with him, a friend maybe. That meant I couldn't see him face to face because if I saw him, then I'd want to kill him, and with his friend there too, it would mean I had to kill him as well. To be honest, this was probably lucky for the boy, considering that abnormal bloodlust had drawn me to him in the first place. I was suddenly grateful that I had hunted only an hour before.

I wasn't sure why I was thinking like this. I didn't know who I was kidding. I was only grateful that I had hunted an hour ago so that I didn't kill both the boy and his friend. Because I knew without a doubt that I would want to kill the boy if I got close enough. The Volturi would not be there to stop me this time.

As I attuned into him specifically, and heard the boy's voice for the first time tonight, I became aware of the fact that the person he was with, was no friend of his.

"I don't have anything more you can have," he said, his voice wavering. "I gave you my wallet and my watch already."

I was running even before I heard the reply from whomever it was that was with him.

"You think I'm just gonna let you go? So you can go run squealing to the bulls? I don't think so," the unknown male scoffed. His voice was gravelly, deep, menacing.

I ran faster, pushing my legs to get me to him quicker.

"But… but… I gave you what you wanted…" he squeaked. The terror in his sweet voice was evident. I knew exactly what was coming, but luckily for him, I was fast.

"Say yer prayers, boy. You'll be seein' God sooner than ya thought," he drawled darkly.

I was standing only a meter behind him when I spoke. He was a large man, but nothing about him scared me in the slightest.

"Why don't you say yours?" I said, my voice sounding light and airy, almost as if it had come from an instrument, which was strange, considering the situation we were in. However, there was also a faint air of smugness in my voice. I knew this was a fight I would win, without a doubt. And luckily for him, nothing about him tempted me in the slightest either.

"And who might you be, sweetheart?" he drawled at me. "Yer stickin' yer purty nose in places that don't concern you!"

"Oh, they concern me more than what you know," I murmured as I took a step towards him, like a predator going for its prey, but he didn't flinch or step away from as me I got closer to him. If he had any sense, he should have stepped away from me as soon as I made the move to get closer.

"Why don't you just run along out of here, Missy?" he drawled. His eyes raked up and down my body in a disgusting manner.

"I think, for you own safety, it would be better if _you_ did that," I advised him in a deadly voice, matching his own. I knew already that he wouldn't do as I instructed. He laughed heartlessly at my words, not understanding the true threat that was behind them.

"Look, sweetheart, I've tried being nice to ya," he snarled as he took a step towards me. I watched as he brandished a knife from his pocket. My movements were too quick for him, and he was unable to move out of the way as my foot connected with his stomach, forcing him backwards into the wall behind him.

He stood, immediately dazed and scared, no longer wishing to press the situation. I didn't bother stopping him when he ran past me out of the alley.

I looked up then and stared at the boy. His eyes weren't on me. They were staring at the thief. The venom pooled into my mouth as I stared at him. The fire reared up in my throat until all I could think about was the smell of his blood.

I was so caught up in the moment that I didn't heard the approaching footsteps. All I heard was the audible sound of bones snapping. I whipped around just in time to see the thief's lifeless body drop to the floor at the feet of the man I very much despised – Casper.

"You didn't have to kill him!" I yelled at him.

"Neither did we need him alive," he replied in a deadly voice. "He was witness to your strength, to your speed. He had to go."

Suddenly, he glanced at something just over my shoulder. I immediately felt the burn in my throat ache just that much stronger. I turned to see _him_ staring back at us. His eyes were wide with fear as he slowly began to inch away from us.

"It's you…"he breathed in pure terror. I could almost see the fear emanating from every pore of his body.

"Wait!" I pleaded. But he was already running. I didn't follow him; I didn't want to terrify him. I was also scared that I would kill him if I did follow him, and I didn't want Casper to see that.

Instead, I let a low growl build up in my throat as I turned back to Casper. I could tell from the look on his face that he was contemplating chasing after the boy himself. But before he could do anything, I dived at him, knocking him to the ground. We were in the same stance as what we were in before, with both of his arms pinned to the side of his head.

"Why did you have to show up? I didn't need your help! I could snap your neck right now for ruining this for me!" I cried, my voice going very high all of a sudden.

I hadn't decided what, in fact, he was ruining for me by being here. Maybe it was because I would have finally found out what I was going to do with him. But I shook my head, trying to rid my mind of the thoughts. He was gone, after all, so why torment myself further?

"Get off me, you psycho!" he hollered. "Don't you see that I was trying to help you?"

"_Help_ me?" I cried incredulously. "Some help you were! He still got away!"

He looked up at me, utterly confused. I didn't want to get into this conversation with him.

"What _are_ you talking about?" he demanded angrily. "You were going to let that other guy get away anyway!"

"No you _imbecile!_ That was the whole point! I _wanted_ him to get away so that I wouldn't scare the other one off. But then you come strolling in and just ruin it all by snapping the thief's neck right in front of him!"

He pulled an apologetic face, though I could clearly see that he was not feeling a single iota of regret or remorse.

"Oops, my bad!" he exclaimed in a mock contrite voice. He attempted to shrug his shoulders, but the way I was pinning him down made that impossible. I growled at him from deep within my chest. It was _unbelievable_ how much he infuriated me.

"What's so special about this guy, anyway?" he asked. For once, he sounded as if he actually wanted to know the answer. "He seems pretty average to me," he continued, again trying to shrug, but failing to do so due to the way I was pinning him down.

I was unable to hide my disagreement with that assessment, a fact that Casper picked up on.

"Ooh, but he's not pretty average, is he? He's your singer, isn't he?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped, feeling disgusted at how right he was about all of this.

"That guy, the one I scared off, I bet he smells delicious to you, doesn't he? Like nothing you've ever smelled before."

"What? He doesn't smell like that to you?" I asked, finding myself unable to believe that he didn't smell as tempting to Casper as he did to me. I didn't realize that we had preferential tastes when it came to human blood.

"Sure, he smells…tempting. But he's not what I'd tear the world apart for. He's not really my type, so to speak."

I thought to myself for a moment, trying to work out what this all meant. Was I the only one who was so _tempted _by the mere presence of that boy?

"Have you ever had someone that you've… you know, really wanted before?" I asked, finding the awkwardness in my voice strange and confusing.

"Yeah, there was this one girl, but not anymore," he said. His answer was curt, and to the point. Obviously he didn't like talking about this person, whoever she was. "We all have it happen to us _at_ _least_ once in our existence, even Marcus. His got away too, you know. It took years for him to find her again. But we did find her, and she joined us."

Realisation flooded through me at his words. There _had_ been someone who tempted Marcus, and he had made her one of them, one of us.

"Shadow…" I breathed. My eyes widened in shock at my realization.

"_La tua cantante," _he said, his voice was like a whisper in the wind. "A vampire's singer usually holds more of an appeal to them than some may think. Marcus grew to love her because of the addiction he had with her, and he still loves her now. It can be the same for you, too. We can find this one for you," he replied. There was a brief flash of an emotion across his face that I didn't understand, but I paid little attention to it.

"And you can feed on him." He sounded as if he enjoyed the prospect of me feeding on this boy more than he should have done. But once again, I paid little attention to it.

"Hah, just as long as I join the coven though, right?" I asked, snorting at the mere thought it.

"You still think you don't want to join us?" he asked, with an air of cockiness about him.

"You still think I do?" I scoffed, rolling my eyes at the same time.

It remained silent for a minute or two as we stared into each other's eyes, silently duelling each other, until finally Casper broke the silence.

"Well, fine. We will just wait a little bit longer. It's not as if we don't have the time to do that," he said. I didn't like how overconfident he was about all this.

"You're never gonna let this go, are you?"

"Nope," he replied, popping the 'p'. He grinned at me cunningly, making my stomach churn.

"Well, I hope you enjoy disappointment," I told him as I shook my head at him in disgust.

"You can be stubborn all you like, but you _will_ be joining us sooner or later. And you _will _be requiring our help," he replied. I didn't miss the tone in his voice that made his comment sound more like a threat than anything else.

I snorted. Later just wasn't late enough.

"But please, if you're not planning on having your wicked way with me right here on the pavement, can you get the hell off me?"

I stepped away from him immediately, not wishing to put ideas into his head. "Yeah, in your dreams pal…" I snarled.

"Oh, most definitely," he drawled lazily with a devilish look in his eye.

I took a step closer to him, letting a feral snarl pass through my lips. He really knew how to push my buttons in all the wrong ways.

"Whoa, calm the fuck down," he growled through his teeth. But I just couldn't.

"You better get out of my face before I smash you into a million pieces," I threatened, my voice cold and deadly. And yet he still grinned at me, making me clench my fists tighter to prevent them from carrying out my threat and tearing him to shreds. They were just itching to rip him apart.

"The anger is still there then, I see," he mused. "I'll tell Marcus you said 'hi'."

Before I could give any sort of remark to his comment, he was gone. And I certainly wasn't about to chase after him.

I turned back to the now empty alleyway, with only the body of the thief on the floor. I prepared myself to ditch yet another body tonight, when suddenly a thought came to me. The thief had already stolen some of the boy's things before I turned up.

"I wonder…" I murmured to myself as I bent down and crouched next to the body. I did not wish to be around it any longer than what was necessary. His blood had quite obviously cooled in the time that he had passed. I turned my nose up from the smell as I rummaged through his pockets.

Even if I _had _been thirsty at this point I would rather have hunted again, than drink the blood of this man in front of me.

I found what I was looking for instantly. I pulled out the watch and wallet that he had stolen from the boy only minutes before. Without thinking, I brought the watch to my face and inhaled deeply. It smelled of him quite strongly and I liked that more than I should have.

Instantly, I wrapped it around my wrist as if it were my own watch. I then moved on to the wallet. It was made of expensive looking black leather. There were a few cards and some money inside, but that wasn't what attracted my attention. My eyes fell on two small pieces of paper tucked into one of the compartments. The first was a small, passport sized picture, except it was a picture of him and a younger girl with long blonde hair.

She was pretty, and looked just like him. And in that moment, I envied the relationship that they quite clearly had. The second was a small laminated card; it had his picture printed on the front. I stared at it for a while before noticing the small print that was written beside of the picture.

Jasper Whitlock Hale

65 Willow Avenue

Forks

Washington

I had his name – Jasper. How ironic, it was so close to Casper, yet so different at the same time. But what elated me more was that I had his address. I could find him. I _would _find him.

* * *

**A/N****: Firstly, I'd love to hear what you thought of this chapter, and what you think of my overall writing style. Because I don't feel very confident with my writing in this story :| So drop me a review. It honestly won't take you very long :)**

**Secondly, I'll go into the whole disclaimer shiz. I shamefully stole lines from the Twilight movie, Doctor Who and Prison Break.**

**Finally, I do believe the address at the end of the chapter is real, at least the street name is. I do love Google Earth. And don't go checking out the address thinking you'll find Jasper there. Trust me, if that were the case, I'd be there in a flash.**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N****: Chapter 3!**

**For once I have nothing relevant to say apart from that I love Project Team Beta.**

**Disclaimer****: I'm sure you're aware this isn't mine… but what I _do_ own is Shadow, she's awwwwwll mine. **

* * *

**Chapter 3 – What Rosalie Did**

The house was large and fancy. It was a family home, of that I was certain. It wasn't what I was expecting at all. Although if I were honest, I didn't know what it was that I was actually expecting to find here.

Across the road from the house there was a large metal fence; shrubbery surrounded it, making it easy for me to sit under. More importantly, it meant no one would be able to see me under here, especially not _him_. I could tell that this was where he lived. I could _smell_ him. Just the faint scent of him told me that this was somewhere he was regularly. But something told me that he wasn't inside the house, not yet anyway.

It was almost six in the evening. It was November – winter. The nights were darker, and even though Forks was known for its wet and windy seasons, I was still unsure about sitting outside for long periods of time. For even the slightest glimmer of sunlight on my pale skin would cause me to be exposed.

I hadn't seen anyone go in or out of the house the whole time that I had been sitting outside. I was beginning to wonder whether he was actually going to be returning to this house today when I heard a car far off in the distance, travelling down this very road. It was dark, but it didn't stop me from seeing the car turn into the road. I knew immediately that it was Jasper in the car. The tightening of my muscles, the excess flow of venom, the burning in my throat were all dead giveaways to the fact that he was close to me.

I held my breath so that I didn't have to inhale his scent anymore than what was necessary. It wouldn't help anyone if I lost control right now. He pulled up in his car only ten or so metres away from me. It was strange, seeing him again. But what was harder for me to get my head around was seeing him in his normal _habitat_.

He looked so normal, peaceful almost, as he stepped out of the small green Volkswagen Beetle that he had been driving. He was completely unaware of me, of course, of which I was glad. Because little did he know, he was in grave danger just from me watching him. I was too dangerous right now, even though I wasn't thirsty. It wouldn't stop me if I lost control. I still wanted him. I still wanted his blood. Just because I wasn't thirsty right now, it didn't mean I wouldn't be when his blood was there for my taking.

He stopped at his front gate and suddenly looked around. His eyes fell on me, and I froze. My hands immediately gripped the steel railings that were behind me. His head tilted to the right and his eyes squinted as he looked at me. I heard the telltale sound of the steel railings bending under strain, but I didn't care. I thought he wouldn't see me here. It was dark, and I was in the shadows. How _good _was his eye sight?

And then, after a second, he turned around, and I let out the breath I hadn't realised I was holding. It was an unnecessary action. But it was a _human_ action. A twisted smile formed on my face at the thought. Maybe I hadn't lost all traces of humanity after all.

I didn't move an inch until he was through the door, and even then I only shifted into a crouch. I heard the mechanisms turning, and I knew that he had locked the doors behind him. I laughed humourlessly to myself; as if something as trivial as one locked door could stop the real dangers that faced him right now.

It was a terrifying thought to know that _I _was the danger, that _I _was the one he should be locking the doors from.

* * *

It was hours before I finally moved from the shadowy confinement that was my hiding place by the railings. There was complete darkness around me now. Even the street lights seemed to be giving a pathetically small amount of light.

I let my hands extricate themselves from the mangled steel fence that was behind me. I turned to see the clear bend that had formed from where my hands had been moments ago. I quickly straightened the bar out until it looked like it had before I had been there.

Destroy evidence. That was a fundamental rule.

I opened my senses, with the exception of my sense of smell, as I turned towards the house. I could hear him easily. He was asleep. His rhythmic breathing was strong evidence to this fact. But what came to mind was how he was unaware of me, unaware of any danger that I could cause.

I stepped out into the road, moving closer to the house, closer than I had ever been tonight. I was at his front gate even before I realised that I had moved this close. I shook my head. This behaviour was irrational, for I should be widening the distance between us, not shortening it. Did I want to massacre this boy in his bed, only for his mother to find him the next morning?

But I was already reaching for the latch on the gate. I was _beyond_ reason now. I didn't care. I had to see him, and if the consequences of me seeing him were dire, then so be it.

I knew which window led into his room just from listening to his breathing. I didn't want to rely on my other senses, especially my sense of smell. I knew I was too close. His scent would take me over, and then it would turn me into the animal that I didn't want to be. Or at least that was what I told myself.

His room was at the back of the house. I smiled grimly to myself, why was fate being so kind to me? It was as if fate actually _wanted_ me to kill him. I tried not to think of the saying _don't tempt fate_ as I looked up at his window.

I didn't take a step back as I leapt the small distance up to his windowsill. The window was open, even though it was a cold autumn night. I disliked how there were so few obstacles between us. I couldn't help but notice how _easy_ this all way for me. I didn't even have to try.

The room was small, with the bare minimum inside. There was a closet in the far corner, with a small cushioned chair next to it. The table was adjacent to the bed, with only a laptop and a small digital alarm clock sitting upon it. It was 3.15am. An old superstition was that bad things started at this time._ How ironic._ But I didn't care about those superstitions.

All I cared for was what was _on_ the bed. All I cared for was the young male lying so peacefully asleep. His body was only half covered, barely over his waist. His arms were sprawled above his head, which was turned slightly to the left. It was regrettably giving me a clear view of his neck. It was regrettable for him, of course. Just seeing his neck made the venom pump through my body at a quicker rate.

I took another step towards him, running my tongue over my lower lip. Just the taste of the air surrounding me made my perception hazy. Even the taste of his scent was deliciously mouth watering. I shook my head, trying to clear my head. I didn't want to be thinking about how any part of this remarkable human tasted. Especially not when I was _this _close, for this just wasn't safe.

I took another step towards him. I was so close now, all I had to do was reach out with my hand, and I would be able to touch him. But I didn't want to, _did I?_ Surely ice cold skin would wake him from his slumber, and then once he saw that I was here, he would scream, and would alert the others in the house. Then once they were alerted, I would have to kill them all.

I could just picture the headlines now. _Family brutally murdered in the middle of the night, attacker unknown. _But that was if I left their bodies to be found. It could easily be something different. _Family mysteriously disappears in the middle of the night, no current leads._

_What was I doing here?_

It was foolish to even believe that I had enough control to be able to see him. To be able to look at him, smell him, _feel_ him and just walk away again without harming him. _Who was I kidding?_

I took the final step that was between us until I was standing so close to his bed that I only had to move an inch closer and I would be touching him. I looked down at him, wondering what he was dreaming, and whether or not he was aware that someone else was in his room. That someone was this close to him.

I knew that if he moved, even if it were just a slight movement, then it would be enough to push me over the edge. I would inhale so deeply that my throat would burn uncontrollably. The venom would flow through my mouth so vastly, that if I didn't make use of it, it would be a waste.

I didn't realise that I was subconsciously leaning forward. The desire was taking over my body. It was giving into the temptation that was being pushed under my nose by my own doing. For this was my fault; I got myself into this mess, no one else did.

I could clearly see the veins through his pale membrane. I could hear the blood being pumped through his body. I knew that if I allowed it, I would be able to smell it, too. I leant even closer, until I could feel his warm breath on my face. I was so close that if he were to suddenly wake up he would see me. I would move away quickly, of course, but he would still catch a glimpse of me.

But would I want to move away? Would I want to run and hide, hope that he hadn't seen me, hope that he hadn't made the connection to the _girl_ that was in the clearing all those months ago?

But what if I stayed still? What if I didn't move as he looked at me? Would he scream? Would I allow him to? Or would I just stop him before he had the chance?

I didn't see why this mattered. If I was going to kill him, why would it matter if he saw me? If he saw me, then I would be the last thing he'd take with him into death. Would it be so bad for him to see me? Would it give him enough time to work out that when we first met, I was planning on doing the same thing?

Because surely he knew that I was going to kill him. If the red eyes had been anything to go by, surely he would have taken one look at them and realised that I was evil.

My eyes trailed over his innocent, peaceful face. His skin was smooth, blemish free. He had full lips, I noticed, and they were parted slightly as his breath billowed out of them in short bursts.

_Such a waste_, I thought. It would be a pity that this one boy wouldn't survive the night. He had his whole life ahead of him. But so had I.

I parted my own lips, as I leant into his sleeping form. They had parted around so many necks in the last seven years, and tonight would just be another victim in a long line. My lips were full, like his. But they were tainted with the blood of the other innocent humans that had crossed my path.

Suddenly, I heard a slight creak of floorboards. I knew that I hadn't created that noise. I would never be so imprudent as to make a noise that could give my position away. But then I realised that if it wasn't coming from me, then it was coming from outside the door.

I didn't move, not at first. I allowed my ears to tune in to the new sound. There was someone else outside his door. They were heading this way, I was certain of it. They were moving slowly, trying not to let anyone hear them. But were they trying not to let me hear them? No, they wouldn't know that I was in here. They _couldn't _know that I was in here.

I soundlessly darted to the corner of the room, hiding in the confines of the curtains that were thankfully draped to the floor. I was obviously quicker than whomever it was that was approaching the room, as they were only just outside the door. I quickly made sure that I was completely hidden.

I didn't know why I was still in the room. I should have left. I would have had time. But I was curious, and that never helped anyone. Without stopping to think about what I was doing, I tore a small hole in his curtain so that I could see through.

I then placed my arms by my sides and stood completely still, statue-like, as I listening to the mechanisms in the door turning. Slowly, the door swung open. I wasn't expecting the person who walked through the door.

It was a small girl. I recognised her as the girl in the photo that had been in his wallet. She was maybe ten or eleven at the most. She had long blonde hair that curled past her shoulders. She was beautiful, even at her young age. She was his sister, of that I was certain. But what was she doing in here at this time of the morning?

I knew that I was about to find out.

She faltered slightly before walking over to the bed cautiously. Once again, she faltered as she reached out to him. I could tell that she wanted to wake him, but it was clear that she was pondering over the idea. She was unsure as to whether she should do it.

I wanted her to. I was willing her to from inside my mind. I wanted to see him awake. I wanted to hear his voice.

_No_! I couldn't allow my mind to wander. I should have been long gone by now. I should have been getting myself further and further away from this situation. Yet here I was, watching a small girl attempt to wake her older brother. Both of which were completely unaware of the fact that there was a vampire in the room with them. I grimaced. She was shaking his arm.

"Jasper," she whispered. Her voice shouldn't have taken me by surprise, but it sounded so innocent, so full of love and respect. That was just from calling out his name. I was awestruck. Even if I wanted to move, I knew that I wouldn't have been able to, not now at least.

He didn't wake up, so she repeated his name again, this time a little louder than before. He shifted slightly as he awoke from his sleep. He sat up as soon as he saw his small sister. He looked at the clock briefly before turning to look back at the girl.

"Rosalie? What's the matter?" he murmured. He sounded slightly groggy from just waking up, but I stored the sound of his voice in the back of my mind nonetheless.

"I… I can't sleep. I had a bad dream, and I didn't want to wake up Mommy again," she mumbled. Even in the darkness I could see the smile form on his beautiful face. It wasn't a mocking smile. It was a smile full of adoration.

"Do you want to stay in here with me tonight?" he asked in a gentle voice. All she did was nod at him. He threw his covers back, which sent a gust of his scent into my face. But I ignored it as best I could.

Never in my life had I ever seen so much love between two siblings like these two had. It pained me in ways that I thought I could never be pained again. I missed a family that I wasn't even sure that I had. I envied _this_ family.

She clambered onto the bed next to him, and together they lay down in the small single bed. He lovingly covered her with the bedding. I noticed how he wrapped his arm around her waist – protecting her from bad dreams. She smiled contently as she closed her eyes. I knew that she didn't mean for anyone else to see the smile, especially not him.

Soon enough she was fast asleep, yet I didn't move, because Jasper was still wide awake. I could tell by his breathing that he hadn't fallen asleep so easily as his sister had. I was unable to move as I listened to his breathing. He sighed quietly and shifted his weight on the bed a few times before finally, after nearly half an hour, his breathing turned into the rhythmic pattern of sleep.

I remained rooted to the spot as I watched the two of them sleeping soundly. They were sleeping so peacefully that it made me feel repulsed by myself. I knew that if she had been only minutes later, then she would have walked into an empty room. Or even worse, she would have walked in on me feeding my temptation.

I shuddered. That was not what I wanted, not now, not after seeing this. I had to get out of here, and quickly. I silently made my way towards the window and half climbed out. But I paused, sitting on the window ledge, wanting to have one last look at them. I turned back and burned the image of them together into my mind. Then I jumped.

* * *

I silently landed on the balls of my feet just below his window. I didn't know what had just happened in there, or why it was that seeing him with his sister had stopped me from carrying out my monstrous task. But I had known immediately that I couldn't kill him. God knows I wanted to, the monster inside of me wanted to drink his blood until he ran dry. The monster wanted to feel the unbearable pleasure of ending his life. The monster inside of me would have taken immense pleasure in it.

But when I allowed myself to think clearly, to allow the clean air to penetrate my mind, the images that the monster inside of me was creating sickened me to the point that I wished I was not a vampire any longer.

The realisation took me by surprise. Never in my seven years of existence did I wish that I wasn't a vampire. Yet after meeting this small family, I was suddenly seeing things differently.

I stepped away from the house and onto the main street. There was complete darkness around me, apart from a couple of street lights that were dotted further down the road. I stepped out into the middle of the road, crossing it with ease, so that I could get to the other side, and just run.

"I knew you wouldn't hurt him," she muttered softly. I should have known one of them would return. But as I turned around to face Shadow, I was immediately glad that it wasn't Casper who was paying me a visit.

"You don't know that," I replied, shocking myself at how pained my voice sounded. "I was close… so close."

I closed my eyes, remembering how close I had actually come. I had been close enough to touch his skin. So close in fact, that I could even feel his breath against my cheek. I shuddered. He had smelled so _sweet_, and I hadn't even inhaled properly.

"You would have hated yourself, if you had killed him tonight. You know that," she whispered. I knew that even a human standing right next to her wouldn't have heard what she said.

"He's too young," I said, shaking my head in disgust. I didn't know who I was kidding, yet again. That wouldn't have stopped me if Rosalie hadn't walked into the room. I would have killed him if she hadn't, undoubtedly.

"He's eighteen. You're not even a year older, Alice. In fact, you're younger than he is," she told me. I jumped slightly, turning to look at her instantly. She had addressed me with a name.

"I decided to name you," she informed me with a sheepish smile. "I did not wish to call you young one. I'm only a few years older than you. I can hardly class you as young."

"Why did you use that name?" I asked curiously. "Alice…"

"It suited you," she replied curtly. I didn't notice how brisk her tone was. Instead, I nodded at her. I didn't understand why that name sounded vaguely familiar to me. But I didn't care, I _liked_ the name Alice.

"What are you doing here? Did Marcus send you?" I demanded, changing the subject. I wondered briefly whether they were waiting nearby. I quickly scanned the area quickly, but I didn't see them.

"Marcus doesn't know that I'm here," she replied, looking down at the floor awkwardly. "Not yet anyway."

"So why did you come?"

"Because I know it can't be easy for you having your addiction so close," she informed me.

"What the hell would you know?" I cried angrily. "You have Marcus! He's all you need."

She looked up at me, her black eyes showing a sudden flash of sorrow that went deeper than she ever showed. She was hiding something. I could see that straight away.

"Yes, I have Marcus. But… he's not my heroin. He's not what I crave," she murmured. I could hear the truth in her voice as she spoke. But I didn't fully understand what she was saying.

I inhaled sharply, as I realised. "There's someone else?"

She lowered her head, looking down at the ground once again. I was certain that she was feeling ashamed of herself by admitting this to me. But as I stepped towards her and rested my hand on her shoulder, she immediately seemed to relax.

"You have to understand that Marcus chose me, I didn't choose him. I love Marcus, I really do. But nothing compares to what I feel when I see _him_, when I saw Alexander. He doesn't know of me of course, I would never expose him to something as dangerous as myself, not ever."

"But you want to," I whispered, though I already knew the answer. She sighed and closed her eyes, leaning her head against my shoulder.

"More than anything," she said, sighing. I was unable to say anything more. I don't think there _were_ any words that could be perfect for this situation. So we remained silent. Until finally the silence was broken by her quiet chuckle, as she lifted her head from my shoulder.

"You know, you're the first person I've ever told that to, about Alexander, I mean. I would _never_ dare tell Marcus about him. Who knows _what_ it would do to him. Although, I'm surprised he doesn't know yet. Then there's Casper, I wouldn't trust him one bit with something as precious as this."

She was silent for a moment. "But you know what the worst thing is? It is for me to know that he's near, that _we_ are near. I don't think I could bear it if they knew where he was and happened to be near him. If they were thirsty at the same time, I would protect him at any cost."

I waited in the darkness, as my mind processed what she had told me. She was _protecting_ this man. She didn't want any harm to come to him, even though the most dangerous thing around him was her.

"This is why I came here tonight," she continued. "I battled with my own thoughts for hours, before I finally gave in and searched for you. I had to hide from Marcus. I don't know what he'd do if he knew what I was planning. I knew you would be here, especially after what Casper told me. I knew you would want to find him. I just hoped that I wasn't too late. I thought that I was, but when I didn't smell the fresh blood, I knew you had not been able to."

"I just couldn't do it," I whispered, sounding broken. "I was so close. His _skin_ was so close. Then his sister came in, and I watched them together. I shouldn't have thought twice about taking her life too, but I was frozen. Even the burning in my throat had died down, only slightly, but still. Then they fell asleep together, and I… just couldn't do it."

I hung my head, and closed my eyes. I was telling her everything I felt, and I didn't even know whether I could trust her yet.

"It will get easier, you know, the burning. It won't be so hard the more you spend time around him. You'll never be able to properly be around him. Only one small lapse in concentration and…."

I was glad that she was unable to finish her sentence. I was certain that she was thinking about Alexander, and about how he makes her feel. I knew that was one of the reasons why she didn't want to ever introduce herself to him. It would only take one small lapse of concentration and he would be… dead.

I shuddered at the thought of killing that _boy_ that was only a few hundred metres away from me. I just couldn't. I wouldn't. I couldn't quite understand why I was feeling this way. I hardly knew him, and moments ago I was seconds away from killing him. But it seemed the more I thought about it, the more I became disgusted by the idea.

"Thank you, Shadow. Thank you for making me see the light in this very long tunnel," I said, smiling weakly at her.

"I'm just glad I got here on time," she replied as she returned the smile.

"I'm glad, too," I told her. I genuinely _was_ glad that she had come to find me. Even though I had thought I wanted them to leave me alone and never bother me again. We smiled awkwardly at each other, feeling the petty friendship that we had made in this brief meeting.

"Are you certain that you do not wish to join the coven? I would benefit a great deal from you being there. I could do with another female to correspond with. It would give me someone to relate to."

I grimaced at her words. I wished she hadn't brought that up. "I'm sorry, but you know that it isn't going to happen. Not ever."

She sighed. "I understand. We will always be there though, you know that. I will always be there for you, Alice."

The road was silent as she disappeared from my view. I knew that what she had said was true. She was always going to be there for me. I knew that one day I would want her there for me, in my very long journey.

I turned to look back at the house for the last time tonight. It was silent, apart from the faint sound of the family's rhythmic breathing as they slept. I knew that I would come back. I also knew that I would be there for him, even though he would be unaware of me. I would protect Jasper as Shadow protected Alexander.

* * *

**A/N****: So, what did you think to that? Do you like Shadow? Do you trust her? Let me know.**

**Isn't big brother Jasper just the cutest? If you've read my other story **Lost in Orbit, **you'll know that I _love_ writing big brother Jasper.**

**Please review! It would make my day.**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N****: Chapter 4!**

Jessie-Colleen** mentioned that this story was similar to Twilight. I thought I'd make it clear for everyone that that's the whole point. There are elements in this story that are similar to Twilight, for example with Alice going into Jasper's bedroom at night as well as Alice wanting to protect Jasper. It isn't plagiarism, so don't come at me with that crap, thanks.**

**Also, this story is all in Alice's POV (apart from chapter seventeen, that's Jasper). I'm sure it's pretty obvious that it is from the one POV right now. I just thought I'd just make it clear.**

**Project Team Beta helped me with my mess of punctuation. They deserve a lot of praise.**

**Disclaimer****: I love Jasper. You love Jasper. We **_**all**_** love Jasper. But none of us own him. *cries* Stephenie Meyer owns it all. She's greedy, keeping them all to herself. I'd gladly take Jasper from her hands! *walks off grumbling***

* * *

**Chapter 4 - All Things Forbidden**

It had been two weeks since I had first been in his room. It was the first and last time I had been there since that day, and it was also the last time that I had hunted. I had stayed inside my home, my prison, not even going out at night. I remained inside the darkness of the house, allowing my mind to think of only one thing: Jasper.

Sitting at _home_ was something I never enjoyed. The sun was shining overhead when I finally allowed myself to look outside, and I knew that I was bound to stay inside. I was forced to stay away from the outside world. I was forced to stay away from the sun, the forbidden sun that was so strangely shining in the middle of winter.

I was a danger to myself, allowing my mind to wander idly through the lonesome hours. I even contemplated, at times, braving the sunlight, trying to stay in the shadows just so that I could be outside. But no, it was far too risky.

But that was no use anyway. Where would I go? I knew of only one place, where he was, and I couldn't – _wouldn't _– go there in the daylight. What if he saw me? Would he recognise me immediately? I was certain that I must have plagued his dreams at some point, and just the thought of seeing his terrified face again chilled me.

I thought back to the time when I first went to his house, of how close I had been to taking his life. If it hadn't of been for his sister walking in at the most prudent of times, god only knows what would have happened.

I snorted softly. I wasn't god, but I knew. I would have killed him. I would have taken pleasure in it, at the time.

It sickened me to think about how close I had come to killing him, so much so, in fact, that I didn't even want to hunt. That had been why I'd remained inside.

Shadow was right, of course. I would never be able to truly introduce myself to him. I would never be able to have a civilised moment with him. Not without either of us losing momentum, and either Jasper running away screaming or I lose control and do the one thing I didn't want to.

It was funny, in a twisted, sadistic way, how I only felt like this when I wasn't close to him. I was certain that it would be a whole different matter if he were in front of me again. I shuddered again as my thoughts went back to his scent. I began thinking about what it would be like to taste his blood, and what the delicious pain would feel like as I drained him.

No. This wasn't the time or place. Especially considering I had just decided that I was finally going to hunt again after my break from sustenance.

The thirst that I was feeling was driving me mad. I had never gone this long without being on a hunt, and my body was feeling the withdrawal. I needed to hunt, and I needed to do it soon. Yet I was terrified to leave, in case, when I gave myself into the hunt, it led me to him.

So I waited. Waited until the light outside was diminishing into twilight, allowing me to leave my prison. I had been inside for over two weeks now, but waiting for the last few hours to pass by before I was allowed to leave went by agonisingly slow.

I was an impatient person at times, and in that moment, I couldn't wait to get back into the outside world. Maybe I was impatient because I knew that I would leave in a few hours. Unlike before, when I had no intention of moving.

* * *

I had run the furthest distance I had ever been to hunt. I only stopped when I had gone beyond the Oregon border lines. I knew that I was far enough, far enough away from him, at least.

I didn't think as I captured my next victim. I didn't look at them, as I knew what it was that I would see. I didn't want to see the fear anymore. It was exactly the same as all the other times that I fed. The same frenzy started in my mouth, the same hunger clawed through me as I drank the first drop of blood. But this time something was different.

I was thinking of him. Not of his blood, but _him_.

_This is wrong, too wrong._

I had to see him, and I had to do it soon. I laughed, mocking myself. I just couldn't stay away from him, could I? It was as if I _had_ to be near him just to survive.

Like a stalker. An obsessed stalker. An obsessed, vampire stalker.

I laughed again at the realisation. I was a stalker vampire that was obsessed with a human boy. _His odds aren't looking good_, I thought to myself.

I disposed of the body quickly, and began running back towards Forks. I used the energy that I had gotten from my latest hunt, which meant it took less time to get back to Forks. As I neared the town, I didn't pay attention to where I was going. I just let my senses lead me, and as expected I found myself outside his house. This was why I hunted away from Forks because if I had hunted here, I would have come straight to this house.

I didn't wait this time. Instead, I went round the back of the house and leapt up to his window in one fast movement. It wasn't open this time, but it didn't take much for me to perch on the windowsill and silently lift the window upwards so that I could climb into his room.

His scent had an adverse effect on me as I pondered whether I should leave the window open or not. For a full minute I was unable to think straight as I tried to accustom myself to this room, to his scent. Even if I wasn't breathing, his scent still affected me.

I decided to keep the window open. Be it just for the fresh flow of air that would surely penetrate my surroundings; more likely, it would be a quick getaway when things got too much. I was certain that it _would_ get too much at some point during the night, and I would be using that window, hopefully.

I turned away from the window and looked towards the bed. I sat myself down just below the window instantly, my eyes never once leaving him. He was lying facing me, with the covers pulled up around his shoulders. One of his arms was hanging out of the side of the bed. He looked at peace, and once again, he was completely oblivious of me.

I sat for hours just watching him. I never once inhaled. I just didn't trust myself enough to do that, not even slightly. Who knew how I would be able to stop myself if I took in the intoxicating air around me. I knew for a fact that his little sister wouldn't be around to stop me again.

But as the hours passed, I found that I didn't yearn for his blood, but his touch. I wanted to feel his skin. I wanted to run my ice cold fingers down the back of his hand. I was unsure as to where this illogical craving came from.

But it didn't leave me, even after another hour passed, and he moved his hand underneath his pillow, I still wanted to touch him. I cursed him because now the only piece of skin that was properly showing was his neck. It seemed he liked to unintentionally live dangerously.

I thought back to what Shadow had said to me last; that it would get easier to be around him and that the burning would decrease after time. Just thinking about it made the fire burn in my throat. It was all well and good saying that it would get better after time, but how long would it take? Months? Years? _Decades_?

How long did I have to wait till I was finally allowed to be around him? How long would it take before I could be with him without constantly being on edge, wondering whether my next movement would lead me to his death? The only problem was that I didn't have decades.

No, correction – _I _had decades, but _he_ didn't.

He would die one day – _of old age_, and I would be free of the hold he had over me. But the question was did I _want_ to be free? If I did want to, then I could leave now; pack up my things and leave Forks. It wouldn't be hard. But I knew, as I thought about it, that I didn't want that. I wanted to be here, with him, even if I was in the background.

_Yes_, I thought. I would be there in the background until the day he dies. Then after that I would be free of his bewitchment that he held over me, no matter how strongly I held onto it myself. Yet my conscience was telling me something different. I didn't _want_ him to die. I didn't _want _to be in the background.

_No,_ I thought._ I can't think like this, it's how it's meant to be. He's meant to die a human, at the right time. Not by my hands._

I was an impetuous person when I wanted to be, and I knew that this was one of those moments. I should have left. No, I shouldn't have even come here. I should have just kept running and never turned back.

But even though I kept saying that, I didn't know who I was fooling. I knew, without a doubt, that I would always return, because he was my mouth-wateringly tempting forbidden fruit. I couldn't resist him. I couldn't be away from him either. Even the past two weeks had been taxing on my self control.

I wasn't truly sure how it was that I had managed to get through the two weeks without seeing him, without _smelling_ him. But then it dawned on me. I knew that I _had_ looked at him, I _had_ smelt him.

His watch smelt of him, and his wallet held his picture. I hadn't let them go at all in the past fortnight. I was still wearing his watch, even now. I hadn't removed it, and I didn't want to. It was a foolish feeling, but I had gotten attached to it, and I couldn't allow myself to take it off and return it.

But could I return his wallet? Surely he would know that the thief had stolen his possessions. Surely he would have known that _I _would have had access to his things?

I slowly reached into my left pocket and pulled out his wallet. It was silly that I was even carrying it around with me. But somehow it made me feel as if I were closer to him in some way, connected almost.

I opened the wallet, so that it was spread in my hand. Everything was still in there as he left it. His money and his cards were in the same place. Even if I were to take the cards, I wouldn't have any use of them myself. Anyway, I couldn't take his money. I wasn't a thief, I didn't _need_ the money. So that left his picture, the one of him and the girl, who I now knew to be Rosalie.

I had a similar attachment to this small photograph, as what I had with his watch. If I _did_ return his wallet, then it would be devoid of this one item. I needed something to remind me of him. I needed something I could look at to give me a reason why I couldn't – _shouldn't_ – kill him.

I slid the photo out from underneath its casing, and slid it into my pocket – _where it belonged_ – and moved ever so slowly towards his bed side table. Of course, in doing this, it brought me closer to him. But I tried not to think about our proximity.

I placed the wallet on the table, next to his bed, making sure that it wasn't easily noticeable, yet somewhere he would find it. I pondered for a few minutes whether or not I should just retrieve it again and run from here, not bothering to return anything. But as I let my eyes shift to him, my concentration was lost.

I was grateful that he was facing the opposite way because I was unsure what looking at his face would do to me. But then again, what would it do to _him_ if he suddenly turned around and saw me crouching on my hands and knees, only inches away from him. Would he scream? Would I let him? Or would he just assume that he was dreaming?

Again, my thoughts went back to what would happen if he found me in his room. But I didn't like to think about them. As each time, they would inevitably end in me silencing him. Forever.

I was too lost in my own thoughts, that I didn't hear his breathing pattern change; I didn't hear the way it stirred into a more conscious state. It was only when his whole body jerked that I realised he was waking up.

I froze to the spot where I was crouching on the floor. All my previous thoughts were about to come to life now, and I couldn't seem to make myself move to prevent it.

His body stretched, and he turned over to face me. Unnecessary breath hitched in my throat, making a large gush of his scent burn through my throat. I grimaced as the burning pain in my throat made me close my eyes. My whole body shook as I tried to holding myself there and not kill him. All I could do was sit and wait for him to scream.

But no scream followed. I opened my eyes, expecting to see him frozen in terror, but as my eyes adjusted to his new posture, they widened in disbelief. I quickly realised that he was still asleep. I didn't _have_ to kill him.

Except I had inhaled, I had taken in his burning scent, and I could feel the venom pulsing through my body and into my mouth. I could hear the blood throbbing so loudly in his veins. I had to have him. There was no way my senses could be cleared.

When suddenly, the sun hit the far wall, and my pale skin threw shards of diamond reflections across his skin. A remarkable emotion came over me that completely knocked me for six, as I saw his skin give off the impression that it sparkled, like mine did.

Remarkable wasn't the correct description. I could think of many words that truly fit what I was feeling. Scandalous. Disgraceful. Appalling. Each fit perfectly with what I was imagining - Jasper as a vampire.

I leapt out the window without looking back at him. I couldn't even begin to imagine him looking like me. But as I ran, whilst trying to avoid the ever rising sun, I couldn't help but think that if he were a vampire, then he could be with me. He would make the long, lonely hours of the day bearable. I could have someone to share forever with, and never again would I need to be bothered by the coven. We could run away to some far-off country, a country that would be covered by constant clouds and rain. We'd spend the whole day in each other's company. It would be bliss.

No. I was lonely, that was all. Anyone could fill that lonely space in my life. It was just because he was there in front of me, that I was allowing my thoughts to roam there. Jasper already had his life. He already had what he needed. There was no way that I could take that away from him. No way would I be able to taste just a little bit. I wouldn't be able to stop until I killed him.

No. I was lonely, that was all. It was the only explanation that I could allow to be true.

* * *

**A/N****: Review, review, review. You know I love them!**

**You didn't really think I'd allow Alice to be caught being a peeping tom? **_**Did**_** you? Be patient, my readers, it will be soon, I promise.**

**You think Alice leaving after breathing in his scent was believable? Yes? No? If you think it wasn't, then my answer to that is: Alice was disgusted with herself for even imagining Jasper as a vampire. So she'd done the only thing she knew how to do, and that was to run.**

**Disclaimery stuff - I quite clearly stole a line from **_**Midnight Sun**_**. Don't diss me for reading it. I couldn't resist. Anyway, I got it from SM's website!**


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N****: Chapter 5!**

**Remember, the Volturi are not the same Volturi from the books, although Marcus is loosely based around the original character.**

**I'd like to thank my two beta's that Project Team Beta assigned to me, cullenite21 and twilightrocks1, they are amazing.**

**Disclaimer****: I am the little bee minion to Stephenie Meyer's queen bee. Because lets face it, SM is queen, and owns everything, whereas I own diddly squat.**

* * *

**Chapter 5 - Familial Obligations**

It was strange, as I looked up at the house. I had followed the scent and found myself in front. I knew I shouldn't be there, damn, I had said that I wouldn't go there. Yet here I was, standing in front of the one place that I had sworn not to go to.

I had battled with my mind and thoughts for hours as I sat at the one place that I called a home. It was too lonely sitting alone all day. It had said on a broadcast that there would be sunny intervals – I'd overheard it from someone's car radio on the highway, but even though the sunny intervals were minimal to none, I didn't want to risk it.

So I waited; sometimes I wished that I could sleep, so that I could at least take up a portion of my day. I could have my own dreams to keep me company for those short hours that I was asleep, and yet I couldn't. I was damned to stay awake for the rest of eternity.

That was probably what convinced me to go there. It helped convince me to do something that I had said I wouldn't. Yet now that I was standing outside the house, I wasn't sure whether this was the right place. It _felt_ like the right place, it _smelt_ like the right place, but I just didn't want to go inside.

I stood outside the house, looking up at windows, just waiting for the curtains to twitch to show that they knew I was outside. I wondered whether they could sense that someone was watching their house. It baffled me to know that they actually _lived_ here. It just looked too _normal,_ too civilised.

I knew that someone was approaching me long before they actually spoke. I could sense that they were there, and I could smell whoever it was that had approached me. In that instant, I knew that they had been aware of me coming for longer than they let on.

"I would like to say that I am surprised to see you here, young one, but I have to confess that I was just waiting for the day that you turned up at our door step. It was earlier than I anticipated, I must admit. I thought we would have the wait decades before you realised that we were truly right for you."

Of course, it would be Marcus who came to find me. He was their leader after all. I shouldn't have expected anything different.

"I need your help, nothing more," I informed him curtly, not wanting him to think I had come here to join their coven. "I need to… find someone. Possibly more than one person, but I cannot do it alone."

I hadn't really worked out why it was that I had turned up there until after over an hour of standing outside the house. It had been milling over in my mind for hours previous to this moment, and I knew that I had to find _them_.

"I think you are mistaken. You seem to think that you can use us whenever you please," he replied through gritted teeth. "I am afraid there is no way that I will be able to comply with your wishes."

I knew that he wouldn't want to, but I also knew that he was curious as to who it was that I was so desperate to find, especially from the unshakable stare that he had on me. I was unable to break our eye contact for a moment, just from the intensity of it.

"Then I'm sorry to have come here," I said, keeping my voice neutral. "I thought you would help, but I guess I will have to do this alone."

I turned away from him, preparing myself to run, even though I had no intention of doing so. I just had to wait, and I knew he would stop me.

"You think I'm just going to let you walk away?" he asked, his voice incredulous. "I think you are mistaken once again, young one. Come inside, please. We can negotiate."

I turned around to face him and smirked; I knew he would stop me. I didn't like the idea of going inside. In fact, I didn't really want to include them in this at all, but I knew that I had to because I wanted to find them, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to track them down on my own.

He didn't speak to me as we silently walked in tandem towards the house. I wasn't sure as to whether it was the way we walked at human pace that really made me cautious of my surroundings. Or whether it was the slight inquisitiveness that I was feeling towards seeing what it was like inside this house that they lived in. But whatever it was that I had been expecting, it certainly wasn't _this_.

The house was large, ornate and rather old fashioned. I let my eyes travel round the vast hallway that we found ourselves in. At every possible space there was a large gold gilded frame, with colourful oil paintings within. I didn't have time to inspect each painting, as Marcus began to move much quicker through the house, and I was unable to look around much longer as he led me into a large wood panelled room.

My eyes immediately fell onto the largest painting situated just above the grand fireplace at the far end of the room. It was different to the others; it looked very old, and yet his face was so young, so _familiar_. At the same time, it was as if I was looking at this face for the first time.

"Alice!" Shadow exclaimed as she walked gracefully into the room. I suddenly felt more at ease as she walked in. I knew that I didn't trust being around Marcus. There was something about the way he looked at me that made me suspicious, and I just couldn't ignore that.

"It's so wonderful to finally see you here," she said, sounding genuinely pleased. "I thought that after our last meeting that you were adamant on not joining us, but-"

Marcus interjected before I could speak, and answered for me. There was something in the tone of his voice that told me that he didn't believe even his own words. It was clipped, harsh and bitter.

"She is not joining us, Shadow. She merely wants our help and that is all, and I am willing to find out what it is she thinks our services can provide. As I'm sure you are, too."

Shadow looked disappointed as she stared at me. She was smiling, but there was an expression on her face that I couldn't quite place. It was as if she didn't actually _want_ to help me, but I couldn't believe that. I could see that Marcus was staring at her, and it was daunting watching him looking at her as if he was waiting for something that he just wasn't seeing.

Yet Shadow wouldn't look at him - her eyes remained transfixed on mine as if it were a strain to keep looking at me, and I couldn't understand why. This didn't last long of course. It was as if the staring tournament had been lost by Marcus, as he was the first to break the silence. He sounded slightly aggravated, yet his voice was still consoling. Though there was nothing reassuring about how he spoke, I still didn't trust him, and I doubted I ever would.

"Well, what is it that we can do for you, young one?" he demanded. I grimaced at the way he called me _young_ _one_ yet again, it was so demeaning and made me feel undignified. It was as if I was too young to deserve a proper name, unlike Shadow, who had named me at the first chance possible.

"Well, first of all, if it's not too rude to ask that you don't call me young one. It's very grating for my self esteem," I replied, trying not to sound polite, and not too snappy, even though snapping at him was exactly how I wanted to reply.

I wasn't sure who I was kidding. I tried to make myself sound intelligent and polite. I didn't want him thinking that I was being rude - that was the last thing I wanted - but when I looked up at him there was a smirk on his face. Obviously he had found what I had said amusing.

"What would you like us to call you then?" he asked, in an annoyingly amused voice. "I mean, you must have preferences to names, I'm sure."

Thinking of names on the spot, _not such a good idea_, but then it came to me - the name that I had already been given - Alice.

"Well, I like the name that Shadow has given me," I told them, stuttering embarrassingly. "I mean, it's stupid to think of another name, when one is already so used to using it."

I could see Shadow looking down with a gratified smile on her face, and I was glad that I had decided to use it. I liked it after all.

"Alice Black it is then," he exclaimed. A strange twisted smile spread across his face at my confused expression.

_Black?_

Again, it was so familiar. Why? Why was the surname Black familiar to me? Where had I heard it before? I tried wracking my brains to find some kind of memory, but like always, I came up short.

"I see that Shadow has not informed you of the other name she decided to give you," he said in a conceited tone.

"No, she didn't," I replied immediately. "But I like it," I added on the end, mainly for Shadow. I could see that she looked angry, yet ashamed in the corner and I didn't want to make her feel uneasy. She recovered quickly, and looked back at Marcus. They looked into each other's eyes for a few seconds before both turning back to me.

"I think there are a lot of things that she has not informed you of. She wanted to, but she knows not to."

I could tell from the tone of his voice that it wasn't just directed at me, in that it was also a warning to Shadow, too. I found myself wanting her to tell me. I wanted to know whatever it was that I wasn't supposed to know. Maybe if I joined the coven I would be told. _No_. I wouldn't allow myself to think like that, I didn't _want_ to join them. I didn't _need_ to know, I just wanted to. Those were two different things.

The silence that was now between us was almost unbearable. It was too quiet, too awkward, and I didn't like it.

"I don't know whether you will be able to find them, the people that I am looking for…" I said, trailing off at the end. "I don't even know where to start looking."

"Do you know their names?" he asked, sounding annoyed yet again. I could tell in the way he spoke that he didn't want to help me, and he hadn't even heard my wish yet.

I looked down at the floor and shook my head. If only I knew their names, I would be able to find them so much easier on my own, and then that way I wouldn't need to include the coven.

"To know their names, I would have to know my own name, and I come up short when I try to remember what it was…is…"

Recognition flitted across both their faces as they understood what I was getting at.

"You want to find your family," she murmured, in a small, almost inaudible voice. I was unable to look up at them, so I just nodded, keeping my eyes on a crack in the floorboards. I didn't want to see the expression they wore in response to my demand.

What I was not expecting was to hear the booming laughter rumbling from inside Marcus's chest. I looked up, meeting his gaze, utterly mortified that he found my request hilarious.

"You want to find your _family_?" he cried incredulously. "How this is priceless!"

I immediately disliked his tone. He was questioning my sanity, and yet I didn't understand why it was such a silly request to make. It aggravated me that he made me feel exceptionally small whenever he talked to me. I found myself shouting at him from inside my mind, wishing that I could verbalise the words I was thinking.

_Of course I want to find my family, you insufferable creature. _Good thing he can't read my mind.

His eyebrows rose, and the chuckle disappeared from his lips, as he studied my face. I _hated_ it when he stared at me like this. It was so…_intimidating_.

"Do you realise how absurd this is?" he asked, his voice mocking me once again.

_I'll give you absurd, you son of a… _but my snide thoughts were interrupted as Shadow jumped to my defence.

"Marcus!" she cried, sounding embarrassed at his response. Hell, if he was my coven leader, I'd be embarrassed as well.

However, before I could give her a rewarding smile of gratitude, he turned to her and I watched as she immediately recoiled into her seat slightly, from his gaze alone. I knew that she wouldn't be able to stand up for me any longer.

"I am sorry that you find my proposal absurd. If that is the case then I will resume my search alone."

_Checkmate, bastard._

"You do realise the danger you will be putting yourself, and your prospective family in, just by searching for them?"

He continued without a response from me. I doubt that he would have waited either way.

"Let's say we do find them for you, let's say you go to see them, let's say you're thirsty," he continued, sneering at me. Unnecessary breath hitched in my throat at his words.

"Would you really be able to keep a restraint on your thirst to stop from killing them yourself? Surely they would be better off believing you were dead?"

I found my voice, _at last_." I would not kill them, I couldn't, especially if I knew who they are – were – to me."

He laughed scornfully; he was mocking me yet again, and there was nothing I could do to stop him.

"Don't be fooled by the pretence of some lost love you may have had for them. That never stopped anyone else, isn't that right, Shadow?"

I turned to Shadow instantaneously, quickly enough to see her face crumple, and I knew he had hit a sore spot. Why though? What had he said that made her react that way?

"She made the foolish mistake of trying to find her family, and she ended up killing her own father because he smelt too good," he derided. I hadn't taken my eyes from Shadow as I watched her small frame shiver compulsively. The raw emotions emanated out of her like heat from a flame. It was painful to watch.

"You see that pain she's feeling? You see that?" he growled through gritted teeth as he stared back at me.

_Yeah, the pain you caused, bastard, _I spat at him from my mind.

"Do you _want_ it?" he hollered. "Then be my guest, but don't expect me to help, and if you think any one of us will be picking up your pieces, then you can think again."

Without waiting for my response, he rose from his chair and burst from the room, leaving only a gust of cold air in his wake. I looked over at Shadow who was sitting with her eyes closed, shaking her head weakly.

"I deserved that," she said, choking on a tearless sob.

_She was agreeing with him? _Was she _crazy_? How could she agree with him? He had completely ridiculed her, and she thought she _deserved _it. She didn't do anything!

"How on earth did you deserve such a reprimand as that? He had no right to exploit you like he did!" I cried. She laughed pitilessly whilst turning to look at me in the eye. Her own pain was clearly displayed on her beautiful face.

"Oh, Alice, you do not understand at all, do you? He commands me; I have to follow what he tells me to, or else I will be punished. You think I would have chosen this path if I had the choice? I was forced, I was his taste, he desired me and he took what he wanted, and he _still_ takes what he wants."

The disgust she felt was clear in her voice as she spoke. I sympathised with her immediately. I knew that from the brief meetings I had with Marcus that he was not someone to trifle with. I knew that he could, and _would,_ get what he wanted at some point, and that fact scared me a little.

"If you had any right mind you would leave, and get away so far that even his unparalleled senses can't find you. You are his new desire, you are what he craves, and in any other case I would be grateful for the fact that he isn't so besotted with me, and yet I see such a potential in you. I see something deeper than anything Marcus could imagine, and he wants to take that away. You have no idea, my dear Alice."

"I don't understand. Why me? Why not someone different?" I asked. "There must be so many others who propose better qualities than what I can. What can he have seen from our first meeting in the clearing?"

She laughed heartlessly once more and I knew that I was wrong yet again. "First _meeting_? You think it's just from meeting in the clearing? Oh, Alice, you have so much to learn in so little time. He's infatuated with everything about you. He's a fanatical man, and once he sets his sights on the prize, he has to have it. You think we found you on a whim? You have been in his mind for years, he's been waiting, anticipating the moment that you could cross our paths ag-"

_Wait, a year? But… hang on… I…_

She suddenly looked up at the door, and I knew that we had little time left. She looked back at me with a frightened expression on her face. She grabbed my arm just below the shoulder, and pulled me into a strong embrace.

"You have to go, now. Get out of here and don't look back. Don't go home, go somewhere you will be unnoticed, and for gods sakes, hurry," she commanded in a frantic tone.

"But what about you? I can't, you can't," I replied, gripping her shoulders.

She shook her head, pushing me away, making me stand in the same stance. Her expression worried me. She truly looked terrified, and I knew she would be left alone to face the thing that caused this fear.

"Go, I will help you uncover the truth, but for now you must leave. You cannot see him when he is angry. He is close, almost in hearing distance, and if he finds that you are still here…"

I felt her body shudder beneath the touch of my hand, and I knew I had to leave. I leaned into her, holding her close, before running from the room as fast as I could make my frozen body move.

* * *

Shadow had told me to go somewhere that I would be unnoticed. I had known instantly where I would find myself once I stopped running. Of course, it was the only place I had ever _really_ wanted to be. There was something about this room, something about this bed that held such a fragile little human, which had such a strong hold over me.

I would be unnoticed here. Jasper would never know I was here, no one would know where I was.

* * *

**A/N****: Please review! I'd love it if you left me a comment.**

**Marcus is an evil git. I got the idea for him from the real thing. Why he is such a miserable bugger I hear you say, well, he's miserable for reasons I am unable to disclose at this current moment in time. Lol!**

**Shadow is terrified of him, and rightly so as well. I wouldn't want to have him as my mate. HELL. NO.**

**Have any questions or theories? Click on that trippy little icon below called 'review this story/chapter' and write your question in there. I'll try to answer it, as long as it isn't something like – Will Jasper become a vampire? As I'm not going to answer that question this early on in the story.**


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N****: Chapter Six!**

**A quick warning, there **_**is **_**sex, loving making, whatever the hell you want to call it, in this chapter. There isn't anything graphic. In fact this is like Stephenie Meyer style, there's hardly any reference. Think about it as a fade to black scene. Please don't hail me with tomatoes when you read who is participating in the act. It's all part of the story, I promise.**

**I would like to thank my two betas, ****cullenite21 and twilightrocks1 for beta reading my chapter.**

**Disclaimer****: I don't profit from this story, it's solely for my own amusement. Also, because while I'm writing, I can pretend that Jasper belongs to me. But alas, the truth is, he belongs to SM, as does everything else Twilight related.**

* * *

**Chapter 6 - Crooked Vampire Turns Good**

I ran for miles, letting the wind brush my hair back. The barely discernible sun was setting behind me, twilight once again. I pushed myself harder, hoping to get to him just a little bit quicker. I only stopped running when I rounded the corner into the park that surrounded his house.

I slowed to a snail pace – a _human _pace – as I walked towards his house. I could immediately sense that there was another presence in the house, a new one, a _female _one. I listened intently for the sounds of the others who were in the house, only to find there was one other person inside with the female, and if the burning in my throat was anything to go by, I knew who was with her. It was Jasper.

I could hear them clearly, they were laughing joyously together, and I knew instantly what was going on. A low growl escaped my lips as I spoke the word in my mind. _Fl__irting_. It was stupid for me to react that way, ridiculous even. He was a seventeen year old male. What else did I expect? That he did not attract those of the opposite sex?

I was furious; I could feel it simmering beneath my skin. The feeling of anger mixed in with the unrighteous jealously that I was feeling right now. Her voice aggravated me. It sounded so _fake,_ so _immature_.

"Oh, you're so funny, Jasper," her pathetically girlish voice told him. I growled again, only realising too late that I had been gripping the wooden picket fence beside me.

I quickly allowed the wood splinters to fall from my hand. I looked down at the fence that now had a substantially large chunk missing. I quickly sanded the edges down with my hand. Destroy all evidence, that was always the way.

I looked up at the window just as the lights flickered on. I clenched my hands into tight balls as I realised that the light belonged to his bedroom. A twisted grin spread across my face, as I deliberated over the image of myself backhanding the pathetic excuse of a girl across the room and into his wall. The fact that it would be severely fatal for her amused me.

However, the grin soon died on my face, and I turned away from the house as I heard the tell tale noises coming from his room. I didn't want to wait around for the outcome that I knew was about to occur. I didn't want to hear him make love to someone else, someone that wasn't me.

_No!_

I shook my head and tried to rid myself of those thoughts. He was a human, I was a vampire, and those two just didn't mix.

_You were jealous that she was in there with him._

"Shut up," I snarled to myself.

_You didn't like that he had a girl with him._

"I said _shut up_." I was shaking with anger as I spun around and ran away from the house, hoping that the distance I was making between us would make the _noises_ quieter. It didn't, of course, as I expected.

It seemed that I was so attuned into this one soul, that even though I was miles away from him, I could still hear him clearly. I could still hear everything that he did, and it repulsed me that I could hear it all. Even though, at times, that could have been seen as a good thing, right now, I wished I couldn't hear anything.

I always thought that my substantially wide range hearing was a blessing, allowing me to become aware of my prey from far off. As well as being able to hear people that were coming, people that could find me whilst feeding.

Normally I didn't mind, save for now because hearing _them _made me want to tear my ears from my face. So I started shouting, or growling, I wasn't sure which. It was just a noise that helped distract me, and drown out the other noises in my ears.

I was running through a large clearing. It was uncivilised for miles, so I didn't care if humans would hear me. They would have to have exceptionally good hearing to be able to know what it was. But of course, it wasn't a human that heard me.

"What the hell are you snarling about?" Casper demanded. I wasn't really surprised that _they_ could hear me. What was I expecting? That none of them would come find me after this outburst? _I wish_.

"Nothing," I snapped.

As soon as I said it, the clamour that was coming from his room suddenly boomed in my ears, and I flinched. He looked at me with an incredulous expression on his face, and to my surprise he chuckled to himself. The expression on his face was unreadable, but I let that pass, for it was obvious that he didn't believe what I said, and from the sound of my voice, neither did I.

"Sure, like I will believe that for one second," he replied, rolling his eyes. I glowered at him, hiding the fact that I didn't have a reply to his comment. I wouldn't know what to say even if Shadow had asked me.

"Look, I get you're having your female vampy crap, alright, but seriously, you shouldn't be making that kind of noise, not so close to humans," he informed me in a serious voice. "They will be predicting all sorts of freak weather storms right now."

He grinned at me once again. Clearly he wasn't as rattled about it as he tried to make out, but then it was silence and I could still hear it. I could still hear _him_ mostly, and it sickened me, I needed a distraction, and fast.

He positioned his arms in front of himself as I walked towards him, a touch too abruptly. He took a step back which made me grin, and at least he was wary of my strength.

"Hey! Calm down! No need to go psycho on my ass. I didn't even say-" But my lips prevented him from saying anything more as they crashed down onto his, he was so taken aback with my behaviour that he didn't react at first. He hadn't been expecting _that. _But then his arms snaked around my body, crushing us together, and he kissed me back enthusiastically.

I was right of course. Kissing him had weakened the reverberation that was coming from Jasper's room, until it was only a small hum in the background. Whatever sounds echoed towards me from him was coming out hazy in my already clouded mind.

I didn't _need_ this to happen between us, neither did I want this, it was just happening. I had seen him standing only a few metres away, the sound of Jasper – my own personal hell - was in my ear, and I acted on instinct. Casper only retaliated with much more enthusiasm that what I first thought he would, but I didn't push him away from me, and I didn't stop him. I was curious, after all.

I didn't care that there was too much urgency in the way that we fell to the floor, tearing each other's clothes off in the process. I hadn't experienced anything like _this_ before, certainly not since I had become a vampire, and I couldn't remember if I'd ever done thisas a human. Was I about to lose my virginity to an obnoxiously cocky vampire? If that was the case, I really couldn't find the time or patience to care.

Experiencing this with my heightened abilities was _interesting_. Furthermore, there was one realisation that intrigued and excited me all at the same time: I was never going to get tired, and neither was he.

I was only conscious of that fact that the sun was slowly rising in the sky when I become aware of the glistening jewel-like shards that were glowing from both our pale skins. It was the first time I'd seen another person's skin _sparkle_ the way that mine did.

The silence was beautiful, even with the way that we were joined, even through what we were _doing_, it was silent, and then I remembered. I remembered the reason why I had started this, I remembered what _he_ had been doing and the thought made me shudder. I wanted to leave, I wanted to find him, I wanted to see whether _she_ was still there. I just had to go.

"Get off me, you insufferable oaf!" I exclaimed as I pushed against his chest. I _could _have been nicer to him. Especially considering the situation we were in, but I wasn't, and I saw the quick flash of anguish cross his face as he leant down and quickly kissed me on the cheek.

"This was fun, we should do it again sometime," he murmured. He made it sound like it was a trip to the cinema of something.

"There won't _be_ a next time," I replied through gritted teeth. He grinned at me smugly, knowing full well that I was getting aggravated. I was only minutely aware of the fact that we were still connected.

"I won't quote you on that," he whispered, and then he was gone, and I found myself alone in the middle of some unknown meadow, lying bare for the entire world to see.

"Bastard," I muttered. I heard his invisible laughter from a direction I didn't know; strangely, this reaction made a smile coax its way onto my face.

I glanced around quickly, looking for any remainders of the clothes that I had been dressed in the night before, and found the jacket I had been wearing. It was surrounded by shreds of nylon and cotton; perfect I didn't have any clothes. _Great, _I thought to myself, I would have to streak half naked back to where I could find new clothes.

I let my mind wander as I ran the scenic route back home. I thought about the previous night and what had happened. I hated Casper – or so I had thought, but what happened last night truly proved that I didn't. I tried not to think of the smugness he would be feeling right now. Of course, he would probably brag to whomever he wanted that I had come onto him.

But I didn't care, because it wasn't the fact that I spent the night with _him_, it was the fact that I spent the night with another person. For last night was the first time in seven years that I'd spent the whole night in someone else's presence - with their consent, of course, which meant Jasper didn't count.

I laughed mockingly to myself. It was ironic how I had spent many nights in the company of Jasper, whom had no clue of my being there, whereas last night I had spent my night with Casper, and he very much consented in that. How ironic indeed.

* * *

It hadn't taken me long to get a new change of clothes. I had so many garments now stored inside my _home,_ so it wasn't hard to choose. Most of which I had attained with money that wasn't mine, so you could say, in some respect, they were all stolen. I laughed craftily. I was a thief, a crook – a crooked vampire.

It was probably better that way if I were being completely honest. It wasn't as if I could work to earn money. I had to use the money I had found in the house, how else could I have attained it otherwise?

I never did step foot into a shop during the day time. I always went at the end of the day, when it was near closing time. There were maybe two workers left, finishing off the final shift of the day. I would choose the clothes I wanted, buy them, and then leave.

I hoped that the workers would be too tired to notice what I looked like, to notice the eyes, be it blood red or jet black, not the colour of an average female. But of course, I knew no amount of tiredness would miss something so prominent.

That was why I bought a pair of designer sunglasses. Under no circumstances would I ever been seen dead - _forgive the pun _- wearing them on a sunny day. For my eyes would be the least of my worries, being that I was a walking jewellery store when out in the sunlight.

So I would go into the store wearing my sunglasses - never once taking them off, I would shop quickly and efficiently, knowing the sizes that I needed, and then I'd pay. All the while, trying not to talk to the unsuspecting humans for longer than what was necessary.

I very rarely talked at all. There was only so much oxygen one could store without inhaling. Usually I smiled, nodded and took the clothes without any further questions. I only stopped when I ran out of money, but knowing that I had enough clothes, I was satisfied.

Once I'd chosen my clothes, I looked at myself in the mirror. My favourite vest top was accompanied by some skinnyjeans, which were finished off with a black pair of Jimmy Choos. It amazed me that I could even run in them.

I made my way to the door, only stopping to grab my jacket andshades. It wasn't sunny outside – in fact it was almost twilight hour as I stepped into the outside world – but a girl had to look good.

I walked rather than ran towards his home. Of course my walking still got me to his street quicker than what any car would have done, but I did not care for such equations as speed.

I could hear children playing in the street adjacent from the park that I was now crossing, so I slowed down to a human pace and walked towards the gates leading into the street.

_Would they have noticed me jumping over the fence?_ I mused. No. Probably not, but still, it wasn't very lady like at all.

I was entering the street when I heard the sharp intake of breath and the high pitched scream of the children playing. My first thought had been that they had seen me and were terrified of what they saw, but that was ridiculous, the only thing that would scare them was my eyes.

That was when I saw the car.

There was a small girl standing in the middle of the road, glued to the spot as a silver Volvo swerved violently, trying not to hit her. I heard the tyres screech along the road, I heard the frantic attempts the male driver made in pushing the brake pedal down. But he was going too fast, the girl was going to be run over.

Correction: the girl _would_ have been run over.

I didn't think about who would have seen me as I sprinted towards the small girl. I was faster than the car, which meant I was able to scoop the girl into my arms and carry her to the side of the road long before the car got to where she had once been standing.

The girl was shivering in my arms, tears poured down her cheeks as she looked up at me and saw her saviour, and as I looked down at her, I saw who it was I had saved. I _should_ have recognised the blonde curls of Rosalie Hale as I ran towards her.

I put her down on her feet as the fire reared up in my throat; it just wasn't safe for any of us to have her in my arms. I could feel the heat of her skin on my hands and it was too much for me to handle. The venom pooled into my mouth and the monster inside reared its ugly head. My eyes zeroed in on the soft, pale skin on her neck and my mind ran away with itself, imagining the way my teeth would pierce her skin so easily.

A fresh gust of wind swirled around me, clearing my senses and I quickly shook my head, inhaling the clean, untainted air. I forced the monster back inside the box inside my chest, hoping it wouldn't reappear.

The small girl Rosalie had been playing with ran up to her, hugging her tightly. The brown haired girl looked up at me, and for once, I saw a different emotion directed at me – gratitude. It knocked me for six, rendering me speechless and unable to move.

The driver of the car got out and ran towards us. He was tall and handsome, but his expression was stressed and shocked. He ran a shaky hand through his long hair and pinched the bridge of his nose as he let out an uneven breath.

"Where did you come from?" he asked, gasping for breath. "I mean, I didn't see you. I didn't see her. Oh my god, I can't…"

He was cut off halfway through his sentence as a middle aged woman came running down the street, screaming for Rosalie. Rosalie looked up and ran towards her, only stopping when she was scooped up into the woman's arms. After the woman had checked her over, she walked over to the brown haired girl and held her close to her body, looking between me and the driver of the Volvo.

"What happened?" she demanded. "I heard screaming and knew it was the girl. Oh God, tell me what happened."

Tears fell from her eyes as she looked at me, but it was the driver who answered her. "I'm so sorry. I tried to stop, but she was too close. I almost hit her, if it wasn't for her pulling her from the road, heaven forbid what would have happened."

The woman looked at me, disbelief and shock in her tear filled eyes. "Y-you saved my daughter?" she stuttered. I nodded briefly as I realised who she was, it was Rosalie's mother, Jasper's mother.

"She came out of nowhere, I didn't even see her," he answered, his voice was still shaky, his heart still beating frantically. "One minute your daughter was in the road, the next she was in her arms!"

I didn't want to regret saving Rosalie's life, but he had seen my speed, or at least knew that I was faster than I should have been, and after what happened with the thief, I knew it wasn't a good thing that he knew. The last thing I needed was the Volturi getting involved.

"Is that true? Did you really do that for my daughter?" she asked, once again I just nodded, I couldn't speak, to do that I would need to inhale, and I didn't trust myself enough to do that now that there were so many humans around. Their cloying scent was too much to handle.

But the expression on the mother's face told me that she didn't like that I only nodded, and so I drew in an uneven breath through my teeth. The fire burnt down my throat and I felt the venom pool in my mouth but I gritted my teeth and attempted to get myself under control. My whole body shuddered as I fought against the monster I'd only just battled against moments ago.

"I couldn't stand by and watch, I had to do something," I replied, my voice was wooden and strained. In truth, if that girl's blood had been spilt, I wasn't sure whether I would have been able to control myself. I shuddered once again as I thought about what her mother could have come outside to. However, the funny thing was that only now did I think of that excuse.

"I'm sorry, but I have to leave now," I said, excusing myself. I needed to get away from here before my thread of self control snapped. "I hope your daughter will be okay."

I turned away before she could answer, but before I managed to get one step, she called out to me, and I knew that I couldn't keep walking. It would have been too rude, but I didn't _want _to hurt these people.

"Don't go yet, at least come inside and let me make you a drink or something. You must be a little shocked after what happened," she said. Shocked? No. Thirsty? Yes, but not for anything she was about to offer, and if she wanted to offer me a drink, then she was passing herself up for an easy death.

I stared at her momentarily. I really didn't want to go inside their house, because I knew that _he_ was in there. I could hear him listening to music, completely oblivious to what was going on outside.

"I don't know, I wouldn't want to be intruding on anything," I hedged, hoping she would take the hint. But instead she smiled at me warmly and shook her head, it was a strange feeling having people – _humans _– treat me like this.

"Don't be silly. I almost lost my daughter if it wasn't for you. It's the least I can do, trust me."

You almost lost your son to me, too_, _on numerous occasions in fact. _But I'm not going to mention that. _I knew it was a lost cause trying to get out of it. I had to go inside the house with her. I glanced over at the Volvo driver who looked between us, evidently more at ease.

"I should be getting off, but listen, if there's anything wrong with either of you, be it you need to go to the hospital because of delayed injuries or anything, just call me. Here's my card, it's the least _I_ could do for both of you."

He handed us both a card and for a moment I looked down at the card, reading his details.

His name was Edward Cullen. He was a solicitor, living in Eddy Avenue, too. He was rich, so I was certain even if I could actually get ill, that even the most expensive of operations wouldn't put a dent in his bank account.

"Thank you, it's very generous of you, Mr Cullen," she replied warmly.

"As I said before, it's the least I could do," he said, he smiled briefly then nodded towards both of us, lingering slightly as he looked at me. He was probably seeing the designer clothes and wondering whether I had too much money to speak for. Then he turned around and went back to his car, waving once before carrying on in his journey, noticeably slower than before.

The mother signalled for me to follow her, and slowly we made our way back to the house. I looked up at the window, listening for sounds of him, wondering whether he knew that I was out there with his family. But I could still hear his music, and I knew that he didn't know, _yet_.

It was strange as I walked inside. I looked around the house that I had visited on numerous nights. But seeing what was downstairs, when I had only ventured as far as Jasper's bedroom was, pretty surreal.

There were pictures on the wall. School pictures of both Jasper and Rosalie from various ages. I stared at Jasper's pictures. It felt unreal seeing him as a small child. But my eyes skipped past the pictures of him with braces, and landed on the most recent one. He was staring dead at the camera, with a smirk, not a smile, a _smirk_ spread across his face.

I dragged my eyes away from that picture and focused on the family pictures. The first was of Jasper as a small child, the two people holding him I assumed were his parents. The next was of Jasper when he was older, there was a baby girl was sitting in his father's lap. The father didn't appear in any other pictures after that, even though there were two more family portraits after that one.

Jasper's mom broke me from my study of the pictures and told me to wait in the main room where the two girls sat side by side across the room from me. I hoped that they didn't speak to me as I couldn't breathe in again now that I was inside. I knew that my fiendish side would show if I did, and there wouldn't be any gust of wind to clear my senses.

The mom returned moments later, going to sit next to the two girls. It was awkward for a moment, neither of us speaking as we sat in silence. I couldn't make eye contact, and then I remembered – I was wearing myshades, which meant they couldn't see my eyes.

I looked down and slowly removed my glasses, it was rude to wear them inside the house and as I looked at them, I could see the shock in their eyes. They could quite easily see my jet black irises.

"I'm sorry if my eyes look a little weird," I started awkwardly, practically talking through my teeth. "I have special contacts on. My eyesight isn't the best without them."

"Oh, I didn't notice them," she replied, evidently lying. "But good job you had them in today then," she said, chuckling slightly.

_Like she hadn't noticed my eyes, she was staring right at them_, I thought to myself bitterly.

We sat for a few seconds longer. All I wanted to do was leave, to get up and walk away quickly. I didn't want to be in this house _downstairs_ any longer than what was necessary. As Jasper had stopped listening to his music, and he would hear a new voice downstairs, and it was only a matter of time before he came down to investigate.

"Bella, dear, I rang your mother and told her that you will be arriving home a little later. I will walk you back myself," she said. I had been so engrossed in listening to any noises Jasper made, that I didn't realise she had started talking to the small brown haired girl beside Rosalie.

That was when I heard him. He had opened the door to his bedroom and was making his way downstairs. I stood immediately, looking at the three on the chair.

"I'm sorry, but I really do have to go now," I stated, rushing over my words. The mother got up, but it was already too late. Jasper had made his way downstairs, and even though I hadn't inhaled, I could smell him. My throat was tightening, venom coursing through my body. I needed to get out of the house, and quickly.

"Okay, well, thank you again for saving my little girl," she told me sincerely, once again thanking me for rescuing Rosalie.

"Any time," I replied briskly, just wanting to get out of there before Jasper found me. I smiled curtly and turned around, but as I did I immediately looked to the ground. Jasper had walked into the room, his eyes immediately falling on me. I heard him inhale, I heard his heart rate increase and I knew that he had recognised me.

I quickly put my glasses back on and looked up. The last thing I wanted was for him to see my eyes. If he hadn't made the connection yet, then seeing my eyes would confirm his suspicions.

"Jasper, this is… oh, sorry I don't think we exchanged names," his mom began, sounding apologetic. "My name is Esme."

I looked at her slightly lost for words. Did I give them my name that Shadow had chose?

"Alice," I answered, mainly because I wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. I wasn't sure why I chose to use the name Shadow gave me, I said it without thinking.

"Well, Alice, this is Jasper, my son," she introduced. I glanced up momentarily noting that his eyes were fixed directly on me. "Jasper, this is Alice, she pulled Rosie from the road before she was hit by a car. I don't even want to think about what would have happened if she hadn't of been there."

"What?" he cried. "Rosalie was almost run over? Oh my God, is she okay?"

"Yes, hunny, if it wasn't for Alice here, she would have been…" But she stopped, unable to continue that sentence. "Anyway, Alice has to leave, and I do not wish to keep her any longer. Thank you a million times over, Alice."

I nodded, I was almost out of breath and I couldn't afford to inhale, especially when I was _this_ close to him. My eyes were already black, no doubt, meaning that I was thirsty. One intake of his sweet, delectable scent and it would all be over.

I walked to the door and half opened it, a fresh gust of air blew into my face and I inhaled, taking in the clean untainted air quickly, allowing it to penetrate my system. It calmed my senses and I was able to think clearly. I wasn't out of the worst yet though.

But before I could step out, someone walked up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder. I had heard him coming, of course, but I had expected him to just shut the door behind me. I was wrong.

I turned to see Jasper staring cautiously at me, he was alone. His mother had returned to the other room, and by the sounds of things, had started to watch a TV program with the girls. We were alone, just me and Jasper.

"You seem familiar to me," he began, his voice barely a whisper. "Your face, I've seen it before."

I stared at him through the glasses, finding myself unable to speak. I had known that he would recognise me, but I wasn't expecting him to question me on it. He was braver than I thought he would be, and in that moment, a strange, twisted admiration overcame me.

"I think you're mistaken. I've just got one of those faces," I replied, completely and utterly lying, and we both knew it. I smiled briefly and turned back to the door. I stepped out onto the steps, but he spoke again.

"Thank you for saving my sister. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost her," he mumbled, smiling faintly at the mention of her.

_I'd do anything for you, Jasper, _I thought to myself, but I knew I couldn't tell him that, and the realisation completely bowled me over. I'd never admitted that to myself before, today was the first time.

"It was nothing," I said, brushing him off. "You give me more credit than I deserve." _Please let me go._

He smiled sweetly which caused an unnecessary breath to hitch in my throat. Luckily, that action didn't make me inhale his scent. "Maybe so, Alice," he began. I bit my bottom lip into my mouth _hard_ at the sound of him saying my name aloud. "But thank you nonetheless."

A smile lingered on his face as I turned out into the street. I took one last look at him; he was still watching me. I found myself motionless for a second as I stood looking up at him from the bottom step.

I wasn't sure what it was that came over me, but I quickly shook myself out of my reverie and turned away from the house. I didn't look back at him again as the house went out of view. But even though I couldn't see him; I knew that he was still watching me, because I could hear him. His heart rate still hadn't decelerated in all the time that we had been talking.

* * *

**A/N****: *hides behind a rock***

**Jasper**: Dude, I got laid.

**Alice**: Dude, I got laid too.

**Casper**: DUDE, I GOT LAID.

**Random girl, who is actually Tanya****, and was just added in to further thicken the plot**: Dude, I got laid.

**Me**: We have come to the conclusion that everyone got laid, don't hate me for that because it has to happen to move the story along. Capeesh?

**Also, I made Edward Cullen almos****t kill Rosalie. I made him twenty-one and Bella only eleven! I hear Edward/Bella fans crying worldwide. Their relationship is for once well and truly forbidden. I'm not making Edward a kiddy fiddler.**

**One final thing, I have a one shot up, just a comedy one shot of Jasper and Emmett taking a bet and carryi****ng it out in La Push. P.S Mike Newton gets humiliated. Go read if you like. It's called **You Want to Bet on That? **:)**


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N****: Chapter 7!**

**I'm aware I've updated again, but I'm only getting back into my schedule of updating every Monday.**

**If you read my story **Lost in Orbit**, I have posted a poll on my profile with a question referring to that story, it's very important as the results of the poll will help with planning on the last couple of chapters. So yeah, if you read that story, go vote in the poll. It's very important and it won't take you very long to do it.**

**I want to thank my two betas cullenite21 and twilightrocks1 for being amazing betas.**

**Disclaimer****: I own the **_**Twilight**_** BOOKS, but at the same time, I actually don't. Damn. I wish I could steal Jasper.**

* * *

**Chapter 7 - Her Name Was Mary**

I didn't get very far before I slumped onto the nearest bench in the park around the corner. I bowed my head down, placing it into my open palms, and closed my eyes. I was in desperate need of some peace after what had just happened.

I had done the one thing Shadow told me I could never do. I had gotten involved with him, and not only him, but his _whole_ God damn family. _How had this happened?_

I looked out at the scenery in front of me, my eyes searching, yet unseeing. I sighed, placing my hands in front of my face in a praying gesture. What the hell did I do now?

I needed guidance, guidance from the coven, or more specifically Shadow. She was in a similar situation as to what I was. She would know what I should do. But she wasn't here, and I didn't wish to return to the coven house. She still hadn't contacted me since our last meeting. I had worried for days wondering whether I should go back and find her, and check to see if she was alright. But I knew that I had to follow what she had told me.

But that was two weeks ago now, and I had began to wonder whether I would ever find my family. Today was yet another reminder to what having a family felt like. I had felt more connected to someone today than what I could remember in the past seven years. No matter how much I had wanted to get away from them, it didn't mean I hadn't felt the connection.

I knew now that I wanted a family of my own more than ever. I wanted someone to protect as I had with Rosalie. I wanted someone to love like I did… but I couldn't say it. I wouldn't allow myself to say that I loved _him_ because I didn't. I didn't. It was his blood that I loved, craved, nothing more. So I made the word a taboo, and promised myself that I would never think of it again.

I sighed once more, leaning my head back against the bench. I closed my eyes, wishing that I could curl up and sleep through the long, lonesome hours of the night.

I was only vaguely aware of the daylight fully diminishing around me. I didn't feel the cool breeze around me as the stars splayed across the night sky. I didn't even listen to the sounds of the insects or the nightlife around me.

I couldn't even say I was listening to him, as such. The sounds he was making were just constantly there in the back of my mind. I didn't even have to tune into him anymore, because he was just… there.

* * *

I bolted upright.

If it were any other situation, I could have said that I was sleeping and something had awoken me. But knowing that that just couldn't have been the case, I looked around me, dazed and confused. I _knew_ what it was I heard, but it just _couldn't_ have been that, surely?

Then I heard it again, so loud that it was as if it had been spoken right next to me, yet he was over a hundred metres away from me. That didn't matter. I had heard my name being called as clear as the night sky on a cloudless night.

I looked around at the now dark grounds, until my eyes fell on the Hale house. I stood in one smooth movement, and ran towards the house with an unknown urgency. Within two seconds, I was standing beneath his window, looking up at the room I knew he was laying. Then I heard it again, louder than what it had been when I was sitting in the park.

"Alice…"

I jumped up to his window without a second thought. Just from listening to his breathing, I could tell that he wasn't awake, he was dreaming. He was dreaming about me.

This time, I didn't think about leaving the window open as I glided straight to his bedside, looking down at him. His arms were splayed above his head lazily. The covers were lying around his waist, with only a small thin t-shirt covering his top half. The shirt had ridden up slightly, and was showing a small patch of pale skin on his stomach. But I wasn't paying acute attention to that. It was his face that I was looking at.

The fear and fright were two emotions that I thought I would see clearly on his face, but as I looked down at him, I saw one emotion that I didn't expect. Contentment. How could he look so content whilst having a nightmare? I took a step back as his head turned, thinking that he was awakening.

"No, Alice. Please. Don't," he gasped, his head shifting slightly from side to side in a restless manor. _Oh God._

I had the sudden urge to wake him from his nightmare, to stop him from dreaming what he was. As I had a pretty good guess at what he was imagining, my eyes, darkened with thirst, staring at him just before I would attack. But I shook the thoughts from my mind. Even if I did wake him up, he would wake into another, far worse nightmare, and that I couldn't allow.

I had to leave. I couldn't be here listening to his nightmare. Who knew what else could escape his lips.

I turned away from the bed, preparing myself to jump from the window onto the lawn below, when I heard him turn over on his bed again. I was too curious to carry on going. But as I heard his next words, I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Please, Alice. Don't. Don't leave," he murmured in a soft voice. _This is far too much of a coincidence_, I thought to myself, completely shocked.

I whipped around, to find him still in a deep sleep. I crumpled to the floor in one swift, silent movement, never once letting my eyes fall from him. He was _begging_ me not to leave him. Now he was just plain torturing me as slowly as possible.

I was the prisoner in my emotions, and he was the only one who could set me free.

He tossed and turned a few more times in the night, but to my relief, yet slight disappointment, he did not speak again. I should have been glad his nightmare was over, yet there was something about the way he said my name that made me go all _weird_. I just couldn't explain it, and I had the sudden impulse to hear him say it again. But not tonight, or this morning, as it had so quickly became.

I left before the light outside began to stretch across the sky. I ran straight back to my prison, jumping through the large windows at the back. I never bothered with doors – they were always locked. Not that they'd deter any of the people who were likely to visit.

I walked into the main room, where I kept all my main possessions. If I were human, I would have been startled to see Shadow standing at the edge of my room, partially hidden in the darkness. She was like a statue, not moving, not breathing.

"Shadow?" I called out. As soon as I spoke, her frozen body showed signs of life, and she rushed forward, holding me in an extra tight embrace.

"Oh, Alice," she gasped. "I'm so sorry for being absent for such a long period of time. Marcus takes a lot of… persuading. It's not easy to lie to him."

"Why do we have to lie to him?" I asked. "I don't understand why he is so stubbornly against me finding my family."

She sighed, and I knew that the reason was something she didn't like to talk about.

"I guess, after what happened with my father." She paused, wincing at the memory of it. "It's just been harder for him to commit to a search like that again."

"Yes, I understand that," I told her. "But how does he know that I am going to do the same thing? For all he knows, they could already be gone."

She looked down, her brow pulling together as if something I'd said upset her. I couldn't understand why, I only assumed my comment made her think about her own family. I didn't say anything, knowing I just had to wait for the moment to pass.

"I'm going to do everything in my power to help you search for you family. No matter how big, or how small, we will find someone. I promise you that, Alice."

I pulled her into a tighter embrace than before, and she returned with the same fervour. I whispered '_thank you' _into her ear. I felt her nod, and I knew that she meant what she had said. As we pulled away from each other, a new bout of determination hit me, and I was finally ready to begin my search.

"So, where do we begin?"

Shadow gave me a devious grin and pulled me over to the large couch at the far end of the room. We sat down together, and I watched her eagerly, waiting for her to begin.

* * *

That had been just over a week ago now, and since then, Shadow had explained our course of action. She told me about the many contacts she had acquired when she had been set to find someone for Marcus. She had been insistent that Marcus would not have known about these contacts, and for that, she was slightly proud of herself. Apparently she he had managed to outwit Marcus, when usually, that wasn't an easy thing to do.

I had been utterly confident in the fact that I would be possibly finding my long lost family soon. But the confidence was short lived. It faded the moment Shadow asked for my input. She wanted my memories.

I had stuttered and failed when she asked me to tell her what I remembered of my human life. She wanted to know who I remembered – names, faces, locations, and each time I tried to delve into my human memories, I would always come up short. I knew there had been a time when I remembered, when I remembered it all. But it had been too painful to think of those who I would never see again. So I had buried the memories in the deepest chest within my mind, and thrown away the key, knowing I'd never want to think of them again.

Now it was as if my previous life hadn't been there, for I couldn't remember anything that occurred before I was _born_ into this vampire world. I didn't know who had turned me, nor did I know where it was that I had woken up. I had walked for days before I stopped anywhere. That much I knew. But I had buried the memories of the first few days of my existence with that of my past, and now I was living to regret doing such a foolish thing.

I felt that I was letting her down. I was unable to help her when she was doing all in her power to help me, to help me find someone I didn't even know existed. I was the least helpful person in the world, and yet she never once lost her patience.

Each lead we had, each time it led to another dead end, she kept coming back with more. Her contacts were always a mystery to me. How they managed to find missing girls that had disappeared around the time that I had, always baffled me. I didn't know how things as refined as that could be searched for.

I was exceptionally interested in _why_ it was that she had all these contacts to speak of. I had put it off for the whole week, never asking her where it was that she acquired these people from. But we were not getting anywhere with our search, and now was a better time as any.

She was sitting down at the table, looking over the latest sheets that one of her mysterious contacts had given her. She looked fed up and bored. So I took my chance, and called out to her.

"Hey, Shadow," I began, getting her attention. "I was wondering about all these contacts you have. Where did you find them all? How come you even know them?"

She sighed and sat herself down next to me. The look on her face told me that she was obviously expecting me to ask her this at one point or another.

"Well, it's kind of a long story," she began. For a second, I thought she was trying to put me off. "But I'm sure you can keep up. Just tell me if something confuses you."

I nodded, and the anticipation to hear her story was clear on my face. I was eager to find out something more about this curious coven.

"You see, years ago now, our leader, he was _infatuated_ with this one family. But he was especially interested in the oldest daughter. She was _special_." I couldn't help but notice that she was editing things, but I thought nothing of it.

"Hang on, do you mean Marcus?" I asked, but she shook her head, and settled herself into the chair more comfortably.

"Marcus hasn't always been our leader. He was the second in command, I guess you could say. We had a different leader who we followed. He was called Aro. You saw him in the large painting in the main room at the coven house. It was him that we took orders from. He had ordered us to search for this family, you see. That's why I obtained so many contacts. Let's just say this family were not easy to find, they travelled a lot."

"What happened? To Aro, I mean. Did he find the people that he was looking for?" I asked. I was so curious to find out about their past. This was probably the most I'd heard about them since our first meeting.

For the first time, she suddenly didn't seem very eager to share her knowledge. But as soon as that thought came to me, it went again, and she began speaking. But this time, I could clearly tell that she was editing, and I just couldn't fathom out why she would want to do that.

"We found them in the end, the whole family, in fact. But Aro was proud, and liked to boast his strength. He went for the family himself, and he took the daughter. He killed the youngest child and the father, but after he had the eldest, he left the mother alive. He had no interest in her after he had his hands on the daughter. He took her away and changed her. But she overpowered him and escaped as a newborn vampire."

I was silent for a moment as I took the new information in. I certainly wasn't expecting her to say that. It seemed all very surreal, and for a moment, it made me feel ashamed of what we were. Aro had power, a lot of it, clearly, and he had used that power to carry out a massacre of a small family.

"Where is Aro now?" I asked, trying to hide my disgust as I spoke his name aloud. Surely if he was still with the Volturi, then I should have met him by now, especially if he was their leader.

"He's dead," she said slowly, as if she didn't want to say it. "We are not sure as to what happened, but when he was overpowered, he couldn't fight her. He lost the battle because he refused to have anyone else there with him. Marcus resumed Aro's post as our leader from that moment forward."

"What happened with the newborn who escaped?" I inquired, once again trying to hide the tone in my voice. I was actually _glad _that this vogue vampire had killed Aro. It was almost like revenge for what he did to her family.

As the thought finished, I couldn't help but notice that everything she said evoked a new question in me and I had the feeling she didn't like all the questions I was asking.

"Ah, you see she became our new priority," she replied, as if she was getting to the main point of the story. "That is where previous contacts were obtained, vampire contacts, of course. She was exceptionally tricky to find, but we did eventually."

"What did you do with her?"

"What we do with all newborns," she said in a matter of fact voice. "We gave her an ultimatum as to whether she wanted to join our coven, and when she refused Marcus _disposed_ of her."

"He killed her?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes," she said solemnly, looking away. "He was angry with her, furious, even. He loathed her for killing our fearless leader. For she had done the one thing others had been scared to do for centuries. When I think about it now, I believe that even if she had said she would join us, then Marcus would have killed her anyway. His hatred was too strong to form an allegiance with her."

I stared out of the window as the silence stretched. It was so much to take in on one sitting. I was shocked at how easy it was for Marcus to kill another of our kind, even when there were hardly any of us around anymore, or so I thought at least.

Shadow must have sensed my shock from what she had just told me, as she rested her hand on my shoulder, rubbing it slightly, but not soothing me at all. I had a million and one questions that I wanted to ask her, but I could tell as she stood, that she was about to leave.

"I'm sorry, Alice," she started. "I shouldn't have told you the whole story. I can tell that you are affected by it. I wish that I could stay and answer the many burning questions that you need to ask, but I have to leave. Marcus must be wondering where I have got to, and the last thing we need is for him to get suspicious."

I nodded even though she was right about one thing, I had many questions I wanted to ask her, but one stood out from the rest, and I knew that if I didn't ask her now then it would be on my mind until our next meeting. She had already started to move towards the window. I guessed she was using it as her exit like I did. I had to call out to her before she jumped.

"Shadow."

She turned to me with a smile on her face, although I could see in her eyes that she was desperate to travel home. The thought distracted me for a moment, making me unable to speak. But I recovered quickly.

"Yes, Alice?" she prompted.

"That girl, the one you were tracking. What was her name?" I asked cautiously, I wasn't sure how she would react to my question. Nor did I know why I was even asking the question, as knowing her name wouldn't do anything for me.

I didn't miss the flash of hesitancy that played across her face as she took in my question, but like before, she recovered quickly.

"Her name was Mary," she replied curtly. "Goodbye, Alice."

She was gone before I could reply to her, and as soon as the sound of her footfalls disappeared, my mind was full of more questions. I thought back to what it was that she had said to me last. _Her name was Mary_.

I tried not to think about why that name sounded familiar as I jumped from the window of my house, running full pelt in the direction of the boy whose blood sang to me.

* * *

**A/N****: So, what did you think? You got a lot of information in that chapter. It's just up to you how you interpret it.**

**But oh my God! Jasper is dreaming about Alice, and begging her not to go too! That must be a good sign, right? **

**Anyway, as always, please review. Do you have any questions? By all means ask away.**


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N****: Chapter 8!**

**Yeah****, yeah, Alice and Casper get it on again. Don't hate me now, lovies. It's all part of the plot, you'll find out why shortly, in the next chapter to be more precise. I am friggin' in love the next chapter as well. Carlisle is gonna be in it!**

**Thank you for the reviews!**

**Also, thank you to cullenite21 and twilightrocks1 for being my two brilliant betas from Project Team Beta.**

**Disclaimer****: If Twilight was my own work, I wouldn't need to write a disclaimer saying this wasn't mine. That doesn't make sense. But who cares. You blatantly know I'm not Stephenie Meyer.**

* * *

**Chapter 8 - When You Think You Know Someone**

I wasn't used to hunting in pairs. It felt strange as Shadow and I made our way down the dark road. I was used to looking out for myself, keeping myself in the shadows, making sure that I wasn't seen by on coming prey. But now there were two of us, now there was more than one victim. We had to find a pair, and that was harder. But we managed it of course; it wasn't hard, things like this never were when you do it so many times.

I disposed of the body as quickly as possible, hoping that I could get away from Shadow. I had never realised how _ashamed_ I was when I hunted. But being with Shadow, now showed me that I didn't want to be around _anyone_, not even someone who had committed the same crime as me.

I jumped down from the wall that I had been perched on, and started making my way down the road, getting further away from Shadow with each stride. She ran after me, as expected. She reached out to touch my shoulder but I flinched away from her touch, and she knew not to do it again.

"You're just like Casper, you know that?" she told me in a thoughtful tone. "He always feels like this after a hunt, as well. I know you just want to be alone, right?"

I didn't turn to her. Instead I just nodded, closing my eyes, hoping that she would leave me alone soon.

"Go," she prompted. "I will see you soon."

I didn't reply as I started to run. I was out of range in less than a few seconds. I didn't even want to go to see Jasper tonight. I just wanted to go sit in my prison, and think. I got there in less than ten minutes. I ran at top speed and climbed up the wall and in through the window.

I sat heavily on the chair pressing my head into my hands. I had never hunted with another before, yet now after hunting with Shadow, I felt more disgusted with myself than what I've ever felt. I didn't understand, and yet when she told me that Casper felt the same, I felt consoled. If only I could talk to him about it and get his perspective.

I laughed to myself. Me – wanting Casper to be here, actually wanting to _talk_ to him. How stupid of me.

"It's not stupid," he muttered, almost offended.

I jumped up into a defensive position, facing him. He had obviously just run here as his hair was slightly dishevelled. I straightened up and took in his expression. It was different. He wasn't grinning at me, he was almost… miserable.

"How did you know that?" I demanded. Had I actually spoken it aloud? He shrugged and even though that would have aggravated me, I let it pass.

"Does it matter?" he murmured wearily.

"Hmm, what are you doing here anyway?" I asked.

"Shadow told me that you felt… disgusted when you hunted with her," he replied. "You know, I always split up from the others when we hunt so that I can be alone. I find it easier."

I sat down on the chair again, resting my head back in my hands. I heard him move, and suddenly I felt his arm on my shoulder. I flinched instinctively, and I felt his hand drop from my side. I looked up at him, and I saw another emotion flit across his face – disappointment.

"What are you doing?" I asked. He was never nice to me.

"What, can't I be nice to you sometimes?" he cried. "Or do we always have to be at each other's throats?"

"I'm sorry, Casper," I murmured, sighing. "I'm just not used to having people around, or people being nice to me."

I kept my eyes down as I thought about what it was like when I was at the Hale's house. I thought about how _all_ of them were grateful for what I had done for them. Usually the only emotion that was directed at me was fright.

"Humans are never nice, Alice," he muttered darkly. "As soon as they realise what we are, they'll do everything in their power to stop us."

His voice was abrupt and full of hatred. I knew that he must have had a few bad experiences with humans in his life. I felt a sudden rush of sympathy for him, he was the same as me. At least he has the coven, who did I have?

"You don't need humans, you have the Coven at least. What do I have?"

"Hah!" he snorted. "The coven, such a close knit organisation. Alice, if only you knew."

I looked up into his eyes. He didn't look like he regretted letting the last remark slip out.

"What do you mean?" I asked, suddenly becoming curious.

"We're not as close as you might make out. Marcus holds a tight grudge against me," he replied, but I interrupted him before he could continue.

"Hang on, what? Why?" I demanded.

"Let's just say our previous leader, it was partly my fault he was killed. Marcus never forgave me for it, and that's why we spend our time together at the house apart."

It was silent for a moment as I thought about what he had just told me. Shadow had never told me that it was Casper's fault that their previous leader Aro was killed. It didn't make sense, I had now been told two stories and both were different. But the question was, who did I believe? Who was lying?

"It wasn't Aro that was after the family, it was me. I wanted the daughter. Do you remember when I told you that we all have our own singers at least once? Well, she was mine. I wanted someone to have as my own, like how Marcus has with Shadow. But it went wrong and I couldn't have her."

"I'm sorry," I murmured as I rested my hand on his shoulder. "I know it can't be easy for you to know that you could have had her, only to have her taken from you. I don't know what I would do if I were in a situation like that."

"Let's just hope you're not," he replied, but it was barely a whisper and I wasn't sure whether he'd said it. It was silent between us for a full minute. Although neither of us spoke, it wasn't awkward.

"Thank you for coming here," I told him, breaking the silence. "Thank you for being nice to me, for understanding."

"Yeah, well, let's just say I understand what it's like to be on the outside, to be alone." I could hear the pain in his voice as I turned to face him. I looked deep into his eyes and I saw the raw emotions inside him. I knew instantly that the cocky bravado was all a façade. It wasn't who he really was, and now I was really seeing the real Casper.

I leant into him slowly, never letting my eyes leave his. Unlike before, our lips met slowly. He didn't react like before, but he did return the kiss. I felt bad, because I knew that he obviously still loved the girl that was his singer, and I had the impulse to pull back.

But as if he knew what I was planning on doing, he reached behind my back, pulling me closer to him. Contrasting our last time we had met, I wasn't covering something up. I _wanted_ to be here. I _desired _his company.

We leaned back on the chair with his body resting on top of mine. We didn't tear at each other's clothes this time. Instead, we slowly removed them and came together. For we were not in a rush; we had the whole night.

* * *

It was mid morning before either of us really showed any signs of moving. It was Casper who initiated it. Of course, unlike me, he had people he had to get back to.

"I think Marcus might be sending out a search party soon," he mused, a smile on his lips.

"Do you have to go already?" I asked, pouting slightly. He chuckled and quickly leaned down and placed a split second kiss on my lips before leaning back.

"Already? I've been here over eleven hours!" he replied. "Alice, I think I should be getting back to the coven soon, they may think some newborn has gotten the better of me."

Then after a thought, he added. "Well, one has..." He winked at me.

"Ha-Ha. Funny," I muttered dryly.

"I know!" he cried as I glared at him.

He winked at me once again, obviously the façade was back. The real Casper I saw last night was gone and buried. I just hoped he wasn't gone forever.

"Alright, I think it's best if you do leave before I pounce on you again," I told him, shooing him away with my hands.

"Would that really be a bad thing?" he joked. I rolled my eyes at him, the cheekiness was really back.

"Out! Now!" I commanded.

He chuckled and pulled away from me, grabbing his clothes in the same movement. A second later, he was standing fully clothed in front of me. A grin formed on his face as he bowed his head. He made his way towards the window before turning around and giving an exiting statement.

"And you said there wouldn't be a next time."

"Oh, you _SWINE_!" I exclaimed as I picked up a shoe that was discarded by the chair, and threw it at him with as much force as possible. Unfortunately, he was faster than my movements and he was out of the window in less than a second. The shoe followed in suit, flying a full force into the air.

_Damn_, that was one of my favourite pairs. I reminded myself that I would have to go find it later.

I gathered my clothes together and dressed in less than a second. I paced towards the window, preparing myself to leap when I realised that I hadn't told Casper I needed Shadow to come here. I looked out at the surrounding area. I couldn't see him but I knew that he wouldn't be far. I leaned out the window and called his name once, loud enough for him to hear, but not loud enough to attract unwanted attention.

He shot through the window a second later. His hair dishevelled from running. He grinned at me and I knew immediately that he was about to make a comment. With Casper, it was a given that he would remark on the situation.

"Miss me already?" he asked, raising his eyebrow at me.

"Hah!" I snorted, scoffing at his comment. "Actually, I forgot to ask earlier, would it be possible to tell Shadow to come find me later? I need to talk to her about something."

He turned his head in interest and grinned again. "I could. But, it will cost you," he said. I laughed in disbelief. He couldn't even go one minute without thinking about his desire.

I walked up to him so that our bodies were practically touching. I blinked at him innocently and mimicked an innocent voice as I drew out the word 'please'. I kissed him quickly on the lips, and he rolled his eyes before turning back to the window.

"I'll see what I can do," he replied, giving in. I smiled victoriously and watched as he once again jumped from my window. I waited a few minutes, until I knew that he would be halfway back to the coven house, before I followed in suit. I had to find my missing shoe.

* * *

I leapt back up through my window. The shoe I had thrown was in my hand, and was perfectly fine. It had landed on a patch of grass by this small area called Safe Haven Point. It was opposite a large garden, and if I was honest, it was beautiful and peaceful.

I knew they were fast. But I still wasn't expecting Shadow to be waiting for me already. She looked up expectantly from the chair as I leapt through the window. Her eyes landed on the shoe, and then down to my feet in confusion.

"What's with the shoe?" she asked, confused.

"It's a long story," I hedged, not wanting to explain about it. She shook her head and grinned as I placed the shoe back on the rack by the door.

"Casper said you wanted to talk to me about something," she continued, then paused, before adding something more. "Speaking of Casper, what was he doing round here so early for anyway?"

"Yeah, that's another long story," I repeated, smiling apologetically. We both started laughing as she raised her eyebrows at me. Thankfully, she let it pass as she patted the space next to her, which I took gratefully, as I needed to get my realisation off my chest.

"Okay, so I've been thinking," I began. "Ever since you told me that story, the one about the girl who your previous leader changed. I began thinking about the name: Mary. It sounds familiar to me, like really familiar."

I looked up to read her expression. She didn't speak for a few seconds, and when she finally spoke, she sounded strange, as if she didn't want to ask and I couldn't pinpoint why.

"Why do you think the name is familiar?" she asked.

"Well, you see, when I heard it, I thought it sounded so well-known to me, like it was something I used a lot when I was a human. I think it's my mother's name," I finally admitted, wondering whether it was ridiculous telling her my theory.

She sighed quickly. Maybe she thought I wouldn't notice but I did. Why was she so relieved?

"It wasn't your mother's name, Alice," she informed me. The tone in her voice told me that she knew what she was talking about. My head shot up, and I looked at her with a mixture of hurt and wonder. How could she be so sure that her name wasn't Mary?

"How do you know that?" I demanded.

"I think we've found your mother," she replied, again, her tone sounding strange, as if she wasn't sure whether she should have told me. But I pushed it to the back of my mind.

"What? Are you sure? Where?" I cried, throwing question after question at her, not giving her time to answer.

"One of my contacts found a woman who lost her daughter around the same time that you would have been taken. We followed it up, and it even matches to the same month. She's the closest we have gotten so far."

I looked down at my hands and started wringing them. Could it really be my mother? Have they really found the one person I've been looking for?

"What's her name?" I asked, my voice was smaller than before, more curious.

She took an unnecessary deep breath. "She's called Elizabeth Brandon."

Brandon. That name was so familiar.

It was like a faded dream that I was trying to remember, but kept going hazy. I wanted to remember the name Elizabeth Brandon. I wanted to be able to remember what she looked like. I wanted to remember her smile, the way she laughed, and yet I couldn't remember a thing.

"It's her," I told her, not completely sure of myself. "She's my mother."

"How can you be so sure, Alice?" she asked. I frowned in confusion, why was she questioning me? But before I could say anything, she continued.

"I don't want you getting your hopes up so much to have them knocked back down if we find out she's not your mother," she told me, and I sighed, knowing she was right. But it wouldn't stop me from looking for her at least.

I jumped up from my seat and ran for a pair of shoes, putting them on in the next second. I returned to Shadow's side in the next instant, getting impatient when she didn't show any signs of leaving.

"It's her name, Shadow," I told her. "It's so familiar to me and I wouldn't feel like this if I didn't think that name meant something to me. Please, we need to go and find her, I need to see her."

She still didn't move, and I contemplated picking her up myself and dragging her through the window. I was strong enough after all, but then she placed her hand on my shoulder and made me sit back down beside her.

"Alice, we can't just go rushing off to find her like this. It's not that easy," she informed me, a grave expression on her face.

"What do you mean _it's not that easy_? You have her address, right?" I asked, desperate. I didn't want to wait for them to retrieve that kind of information. "We can just go there. We don't even have to go to the door. I just want to see her."

Shadow sighed and placed her thumb and forefinger beside her temple and slowly massaged it, as if in deep thought.

"Alice, I wish it were as easy as standing outside a house, waiting for her to show up. You're not allowed to see her," she replied, confusing me further.

Then after a thought, she added, "Not many people are."

"What do you mean people aren't allowed to see her?" I asked. She got up out of her seat and went to the window, before turning back to me, and signalling for me to follow her.

"Come on, I'll show you what I mean."

I got up from my seat, not questioning her any further. I didn't know where she was taking me exactly, but what I did know was that it was about my mother, and I would follow Shadow halfway across the world if I needed to.

She ran in front of me for a long while. She was slower than what I was, and I had to slow my own pace so that I didn't end up flying past her in my hurry. I even considered picking her up and carrying her in the direction she told me to go in, but I knew that I shouldn't, so I just followed.

I shot right past her as she abruptly stopped in her tracks. I gritted my teeth and turned back to her, being by her side in less than a second. I was getting impatient with all the running. I wanted to see what it was that she had to show me. It better be worth it.

"What? What is it?" I demanded, trying to keep my irritation out of my tone, but I knew that I was failing miserably. Yet for some reason, she didn't seem to notice, or she just ignored it. Instead, she began walking forward, ignoring me completely.

I clenched my hands together and thought about the fact that she was helping me, and that it would do no good harming someone who you could call a friend. So I followed her slowly as she pushed her way through the trees that were in front of us.

As we stepped out into the clearing, the sun beamed down on our skin and I flinched away from it, preparing myself to hide back inside the confines of the trees. But Shadow grabbed my hand, and held me in my place, using her other hand to point to the building.

"She's in there," she told me quietly. "Elizabeth Brandon lives here."

I stepped forward by my own volition. My eyes travelled over the vast building that was in front of me. It didn't look like a house. Nor did it look like somewhere a woman would live alone. It was too big, too formal, too much like a hospital.

"What is this place?" I asked almost breathlessly. I didn't even direct it at Shadow as I spoke; it was more like I was speaking aloud the questions in my mind.

"When her daughter disappeared she was all alone and the loss drove her mad," she informed me, once again, her voice solemn. "Alice, I'm sorry, but if this is your mother, she won't remember you."

My heart, if it were still beating, would have crashed into my ribcage, threatening to break free from my chest. The woman, who could possibly be the last connection I had to my human life, may not even know who I was.

"This is an institution for the mentally unstable," I said breathlessly, the deep set anguish evident in my tone. Shadow knew not to answer me. Instead, she rested her hand on my shoulder, and left it there as I stared at the building that held my mother prisoner in her own mind.

I shrugged away from her, turning back into the trees so that I didn't have to look at the building for a moment longer. Shadow followed me immediately, but I hadn't gone far. I waited for her to catch up with me before I spoke.

"I can't go in there, Shadow," I told her. "I think it's better not knowing. I should never have come here. I'm sorry."

"Alice, you have nothing to be sorry about," she replied immediately. "I should never have brought you here, this is my fault. I should have known that it wouldn't help you."

"Don't blame yourself, Shadow. You did the best you could, and I'm grateful for that," I said sincerely. We embraced quickly, before I pulled away and smiled, I had to be on my own for a while, and I just hoped that Shadow understood.

"I hope you don't mind, Shadow, it's just that I think I need some time alone, you know, to think things through," I informed her, smiling at her weakly.

"Of course, that's totally understandable," she said, nodding in acceptance. "You know where to find me if you need to talk, okay?"

I nodded and turned away from her, taking an unnecessary breath as I began to run. I only got a few steps before Shadow called out to me again.

"Alice, before you go," she began hesitantly. "Please promise to me that you won't come back here."

I turned back to her and looking into her eyes. They were pleading with me to promise her that I wouldn't return. I kept my face blank as I nodded at her. I frowned as I heard her sigh. She looked genuinely relieved when I promised I wouldn't return.

I turned away from her again and ran. I didn't turn back, nor did I look to see if I could see the institution through the trees. I just kept pushing my legs forward, begging to be away from it all so that I could be alone.

I thought that I knew the coven. I thought that I knew who I could trust. I thought I knew what they were capable of. But now I was beginning to doubt everything I had heard. Maybe it was just a hunch, but when I thought I knew someone, I suddenly saw them in their true colours.

I vowed to myself, that I would return to this institution and find out what it was that Shadow desperately wanted me to stay away from. I would find the truth about my mother. Alone.

There was an old saying 'keep your friends close, and your enemies closer' that suddenly resembled the connection between me and the coven.

* * *

**A/N****: So, she doesn't trust Shadow anymore. I wouldn't either, she's a suspicious girl that one.**

**What did you think about the mother? She's locked up in some whack shack****, (no offense intended) and she doesn't remember Alice. What do you think will happen next? Will Alice find out the truth? Will she see her mother? Let me know what you think.**

**Please r****eview. I know you people read it. I see the view counts ya know. Don't be shy, I don't bite, but Marcus might if you don't leave a comment.**


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N****: Chapter 9!**

**I actually love this chapter.**** I love Carlisle, and I enjoyed writing him, even though what he was talking about isn't technically a nice thing.**

**You get quite a lot of answers in this chapter, some you might not want to hear. But it's all important to the story****, so don't hate me for it.**

**C****hapter 10 is awesome. Well, I think so anyway. It's really long too, so when I update that one, make sure you get yourself comfortable.**

**Disclaimer****: I do not own Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Jessica, Aro, Marcus and the surname Brandon. **_**But**_** I do own Elizabeth, Casper and Shadow.**

* * *

**Chapter 9 - It's A Small Eventful World**

I spent the majority of my time split between two things. In the daytime, I would sit in the confines of my prison, thinking about what was the right thing to do concerning my life, or previous life as it now was. Then during the night time, I would spend each night sitting next to Jasper's bed, watching him sleep, hoping that he wouldn't wake up and find me sitting there, yet secretly wishing that he would.

I hunted once in that week, my senses taking me dangerously close to the institution where my once-was mother now lived. I had stopped myself before I went any further. I turned around and found another state to hunt in. It was hard, but I had managed it. All up until tonight, that is.

Jasper was asleep in front of me. His steady breathing was soothing my crowded mind, allowing me to think clearly about what I should do concerning my life. I knew something was amiss with Shadow. I knew that the story she had told me was different to the one that Casper had retold.

I was confused. I didn't know who to believe and who not to trust. A part of me was telling me to trust Shadow, she was the one helping me, but then another part of me was telling me that Casper was being sincere when he was telling me about his singer.

I closed my eyes and thought about it some more. Shadow, she was the one who had helped me through all of this – a friend. She had found my family. Yet as soon as we did, she asked me to promise her that I would never return to the institution. We had searched long and hard to find my mother, only to not take the final step.

Then there was Casper, someone who aggravated me beyond belief, yet was someone in whom I had shared such personal moment. That alone made me believe that he wouldn't lie to me bout something as important as the coven's history.

Whenever I thought back to that night, I always remembered the way he had told me, with such sincerity that made me believe he was telling the truth. I _had _believed them. I thought I _had _known the coven enough to trust them. _Obviously not_, I thought to myself.

I knew that in the end, there was only one person I could really trust, and that was myself. I was the only one who could find out the answers to my burning questions. I was the only one who could find out the past, my past and know enough that I wouldn't lie to cover up the truth.

I knew there and then, as I watched Jasper shift in his bed, that I had to take matters into my own hands. I had to find out the truth on my own, and the only way I was going to do that was to go back to the institution and find out what it was that made Shadow ask for my reassurance in never returning.

I was going to do this as soon as it was early enough to leave. I was going to uncover the mystery of my previous life at last.

* * *

It took me such a shorter time to get to the institution.I hated calling it an institution, but I knew there were no other suitable names. It took me only fifteen minutes to get to the same place I had been standing only a week before. As I stood outside Rose Hill Hospital, I looked up at the building, feeling the determination born from going inside and getting something out of it.

I walked – _at a human pace_ – around to the front of the building. It looked nice and friendly from the front. Whoever it was that was paying for my mother here was generous, although I wouldn't expect anything less, my mother deserved somewhere nice.

I laughed to myself as I pushed the doors to the reception open and walked in. Look at me, I was already being overprotective over a mother that I might not even have.

I took a deep breath of fresh air as I made my way over to the desk. There was a young woman sitting behind the desk. Her blood was sweet and tempting; I swallowed back the venom in my mouth.

She looked bored out of her brains as she filed her nails with a small pink nail file. She looked up as I approached the desk, her fashion conscious eye took in my clothes, and I knew I immediately had her attention.

"Hello, what can I do for you?" she asked. She had a typical girly voice, and I wondered what it was she was doing working in a place like this. A magazine company would be so much more suited.

"I'm looking for someone who I think is a patient here," I informed her. "Her name is Elizabeth Brandon."

"Elizabeth Brandon?" she asked, almost with a cautious intonation. At first I thought she hadn't heard me correctly, and I was prepared to repeat myself, when I watched her pick up the desk phone and dial an extension code.

I waited as she smiled at me, then I heard someone pick up and the receiving end – a male – she whispered to him, even though I knew it was a useless attempt. I would still have heard her even if I were a hundred metres away.

"Doctor Cullen," she addressed him. I ignored the fact that his surname was familiar to me. "I think you should come out here."

I heard his response on the other line, he sounded busy and he told her not to bother him, but then as soon as she mentioned the name Elizabeth Brandon, he told her he would be right out. It was then that I realised there she wasn't an average patient.

The receptionist told me to wait in one of the seats as Doctor Cullen would be right out to see me. I took this chance to walk towards the door, inhaling as much _clean_ air as possible. I knew I was about to come face to face with a human for a long period of time.

I was waiting less than a minute before the door just down the corridor opened, and a man stepped out. He was tall, with blond hair. He had warm hazel eyes and was, well, he was handsome. He looked like someone from the movies, as if he just stepped off a set of some hospital drama. I smiled to myself as he greeted me. I shook his hand, even though the touch of his warm hand made venom flow into my mouth. I swallowed it back, of course. Surprisingly, he didn't flinch away from my cold hands. I was sure he blamed the weather for my cold skin.

He signalled for me to follow him, and together we made our way towards the room he had just exited from. Just from glancing at the certificates framed in different places on the wall, I gathered that this was his office.

He told me to sit down in the chair opposite his desk as he settled himself into his seat. He found the files concerning Elizabeth, quickly looked through them before turning to look at me for the first time since entering his workspace.

"My receptionist told me that you were inquiring after Elizabeth Brandon," he began after taking a deep breath. "I'm interested to know what it is you wanted to find here. Forgive me for my informalities, but you see, no one has ever visited or inquired after her in the eight year she has been here, and without causing offence, we've been prone to reporters coming here, looking for an easy article to write about."

I was silent for a moment as I thought about what he had just said. She didn't have any visitors? Did I not have any other living relatives? Or did they merely leave her here? I was so caught up in the idea of her being here on her own that I completely overlooked the part about reporters looking for an easy article to write.

"I think I know her from my past," I told him. My words were stilted, due to the fact I was rationing my oxygen, and it was unsure because I didn't know whether she really was my mother or not. "I have been searching for someone, and my search led me here, with her name."

He sighed and shuffled the papers on his desk, before sitting up taller and looking at me with a grave expression on his face.

"I'm sorry, Miss…" But his voice trailed away from him. "I'm sorry, I have not asked for your name," he continued, looking apologetic.

I froze. He wanted my name? What was I going to tell him? Alice Black? No. I did not want to use the surname the coven had given me. Alice Brandon? I nearly laughed as that thought came into my mind.

"Hale, my surname is Hale," I informed him. My eyes widened as my mouth reacted without proper thought. _Hale_? What was I thinking? It wasn't the fact I'd used Jasper's name, it was just what it symbolised.

"Well, Miss Hale, I don't know how to put this," he said, pausing as if he was thinking about what to say next. "If you were after some answers to questions you my have for Elizabeth Brandon, then I'm afraid you won't get them. Well, not from her at least."

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused. He sighed and placed entwined his hands together on top of the desk. Just from the look on his face, I could tell that the next words to leave his mouth were not going to be something I wanted to hear.

"When Elizabeth Brandon was admitted here, she had spent a whole week locked away inside her own home, with the bodies of her-" But I didn't allow him to finish.

"_Bodies_?" I shrieked, my voice was high, and the pitch made him jump. "What do you mean _bodies_?"

For a brief moment, he looked angry, and then his brow pulled together. "Miss Hale, how much do you really know about Elizabeth Brandon?" he asked, his tone wholly disapproving.

I bit my lip into my mouth, and my lap suddenly became very interesting to look at. I didn't know a damn thing about her, that's what, and I felt ashamed for coming here so uneducated on the matter.

"I don't know anything," I replied. I didn't look up, not at first. I didn't want to meet his eyes as I allowed my response to sink in. "But I need to know. My whole past is dependant on what happened to her. Please, Doctor Cull-"

"And what?" he exclaimed, interrupting me. "You came here with the sole purpose of asking her about the circumstances in which she got put into a mental institution in the first place?"

I didn't give him an answer because he was getting angry now, and when you were angry, your heart would beat faster, and when your heart beats faster, more blood is pumped around your body. Right now, his blood was all I could focus on. It was so tantalising, and the sound of his heart beat was enticing me towards him.

I looked up at him, and for a brief moment, fear flashed across his expression. My eyes would undoubtedly be jet black now, and I could feel my lip quivering slightly as I internally fought against the monster.

"I just want the truth," I said through gritted teeth as I swallowed down the venom. I could hear the thirst in my voice. It made it throatier, more gravelly than before.

He seemed to recover the moment I looked away from him. I was certain that my gaze had made him uncomfortable.

"Miss Hale, the information that I could be passing out to you is extremely confidential," he informed me, his voice wavering only slightly. I knew that already, of course. I already knew that it wouldn't be easy to get the information I sought.

"I would be breaking many patient confidentiality rights just by talking to you," he added in a matter of fact voice.

"Please." That was all I could get out. My oxygen level was diminishing pretty quickly, and I really needed to replenish soon. "I need this."

He looked at me long and hard, and I could tell he was thinking about it. Neither of us moved, hell, I wasn't even _pretending_ to breathe anymore. As he picked up the phone, I was certain that he was going to call security to come in here and haul my sorry ass out of here. That was when I heard the voice on the other end of the line.

"Jessica, I think you will need to cancel my next appointment. This could take a while," he told her, his voice solemn. I should have been relieved, but the shroud of dread was hanging over me like a cloud of a rainy day. Did I really want to hear what he was about to tell me? Sure, I wanted to know the truth. But what if I didn't agree with the truth? Sometimes things were best left in the past.

"Miss Hale, I need you to understand now that I could lose my job because of this. I could have my license sequestered," he told me, his tone very serious. "But there is something about this case that especially intrigues me, and against my better judgement, I am willing to help you fill in any gaps you may have."

"Thank you," I said, nodding at him. I wanted to say more, but I just couldn't without inhaling. I was certain that he took my one worded replies as being rude, but it was for his own good.

He settled himself back into his chair, as if he was preparing himself for a long speech. I, on the other hand, sat rigid in my chair. I gripped my leg, knowing that if I gripped the chair, I could reduce it to splinters. I clenched my teeth together, and pulled in a fiery breath through my teeth.

His scent was so much stronger now as I tasted it on my tongue. The fire in my throat was roaring, and I had nothing to soothe the burn. My hands were shaking, and I closed my eyes momentarily, trying to get myself under control.

_He is helping me,_ I told myself. _He is going to tell me about my mother. What good would killing him do? _There was a part of me, the monstrous part that was telling me so many reasons as to why it _was _good to kill him. But I forced it back, locking it behind, what I hoped, was an iron strong barrier.

"Elizabeth Brandon was admitted to Rose Hill just under eight years now," he began. "She was a mother of two, and a wife of a hardworking man, whom many people respected."

"Until one night, they were at home, and there was an attack on the house. Her husband was killed instantly. We believe he was protecting his family. The youngest daughter, only fourteen – Cynthia her name was – was killed, and the eldest was taken by the attacker. Elizabeth was left with the bodies of her youngest and her husband surrounding her."

I had a strange feeling that I couldn't breathe, even though I wasn't _trying _to breathe. I suddenly had the feeling that if I _tried _to breathe, then I wouldn't be able to. My throat was tight, as if I were choking on something. My eyes felt dry, and my chest was tightening with every second that passed. It was as if I was trying to cry. _That's impossible_.

"She remained there for almost a week, slowly driving herself mad. It was only when the neighbours didn't see anyone leave the house for a week that they investigated. She had already lost her mind by that time. She was just a shell, only muttering the name of her eldest over and over. I will never forget the look on her face when she spoke her name."

Was this really the story of my family? Was this really what happened to my parents? Did I have a little sister, too? Was it a vampire that broke into the family home? _Oh God._

I suddenly had a flash of two other people telling me their own stories, three stories from different people, three stories that all sounded coincidentally similar.

"Doctor Cullen, what was her name, the daughter, the one that was taken?" I asked, almost reluctantly.

"Oh, that name I will never forget. Her name was Mary Alice Brandon," he replied.

The unnecessary breath whooshed out of my body at his words. Her name was Mary Alice Brandon. My name was Mary Alice Brandon.A similar conversation was coming back around, flashing across my memory as if they had just been spoken to me.

"_That girl, the one you were tracking. What was her name?"_

"_Her name was Mary. Goodbye, Alice."_

Her name was Mary. _My_ name was Mary and they had named me Alice. How did they know? Oh._ Oh_.

"Oh God," I gasped, my eyes wide.

"Miss Hale, are you alright?" he asked, leaning forward in his chair. His expression was almost as if he were worried.

_No, I'm not alright I'm the farthest thing from alright,_ I thought to myself. My mind was screaming at me, trying to work out what was going on. The Volturi had known from the start.

I stood up, pushing the chair backwards across the room. He jumped, looking startled by my actions. I realised too late that my movements were probably _a little_ fast for the average human. But I didn't care, I needed to see her, I needed to see my mother.

"I need to see her," I demanded.

"Excuse me?" he asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.

_Did people around here not hear me or something?_

"Elizabeth Brandon! I need to see her!" I cried, clenching my hands at my sides. I needed to calm down. It would do no good me getting angry now. I was less in control when I got angry.

"Miss Hale, you won't get anything from her," he told me, shaking his head at me. "And it won't do her any good seeing visitors."

"I don't want to talk to her, Doctor Cullen. I just need to see her, call it final closure, whatever! I just need to see her," I told him, my voice getting more and more desperate as the seconds passed. I wasn't even thinking about my depleting oxygen supply.

He looked at me sternly from where he sat. I didn't have _time_ for him to think things over, or be disapproving about it. Either way, I was going to see her, be it legally, or forcing my way through. I_ would _see her.

"Okay, I will let you see her, but that is all. I will have her placed in an observation room, she will be completely oblivious to you, and in no way will you be able to communicate with her. So do not attempt to. Are we clear?" he asked with an authoritative voice.

"Crystal clear."

He nodded at me, signalling for me to follow him. He told me to wait outside in the corridor whilst he set up the meeting with my mother. _My mother. _I still couldn't wrap my mind around that concept. What would she look like? Would I recognise her? I couldn't begin to imagine what she looked like when I was human. I just couldn't remember.

In his absence, I went and stood by the window. I inhaled the clean air, and inwardly congratulated myself for spending a human moment with another. Sure, I had wanted to take his life, but I had restrained myself. I was getting somewhere, at least.

I began to drum my fingers into the stone windowsill. Was it nerves making me do this? It was such a human reaction. Although the small hole I created in the stone was definitely not human.

Doctor Cullen was taking a long time. But I had to be thankful to him, he was being very generous to me, I had to remember that. Suddenly, a sentence from the most unlikely of people flashed across my memory.

"_Thank you, it's very generous of you, Mr Cullen."_

I had recognised the name earlier, but I did not make the connection, or not like this, at least. Was Doctor Cullen the father of the driver, Mr Cullen?

My thoughts were interrupted as Doctor Cullen stepped back out into the corridor. He signalled for me to follow him, and I noticed that he looked perceivably more stressed than before, but I pushed that thought to the back of my mind.

I caught up with him, hoping that I would be able to ask him about my assumption before we had to go into the observation room.

"Doctor Cullen, I was wondering, and tell me if I'm being too interfering, but do you have any children?"

He smiled, relieving the stress lines on his face. "Why yes, I have two sons. Edward is twenty-one and Emmett is just eleven. What makes you ask?" he inquired.

"Edward is a solicitor, right?" I asked. "I think I have met him before."

His eyes seemed to lighten slightly, and I could see the proud look in them. "Yes, he is. Fancy that. It is a small world," he said, chuckling softly.

"It's a small eventful world," I muttered quietly. I wasn't sure if he had heard my comment as he signalled to the door in front of us. We were just outside the observation room now.

"Indeed it is, Miss Hale," he replied, and I knew that he had heard me. "Now, if you will just go in here, you will be able to see Elizabeth Brandon."

I turned back to him, suddenly feeling nervous once again. It was an emotion that I hadn't experienced for a long time before today. I rested my hand on his arm, I didn't know what I was doing, but it just felt _right_.

"Will you stay with me, please? I can't do this on my own," I murmured, realising that I actually sounded my age for once. My voice was smaller than normal, more scared, and I couldn't understand why I was _scared _now.

"Of course, someone has to be present anyhow," he informed me. His voice was kind and understanding. I was really starting to like Doctor Cullen. I smiled at him and removed my hand from him arm. Even though I was in control now, I could still feel the warmth of his arm on my cold hand.

He opened the door, allowing me to enter first. It was a small room with a large two-way mirror on one wall. My eyes were attracted to it immediately, and the rest of the room may as well not have been there. My mind and body was on her, nothing else.

It was my mother. Correction, it used to be my mother. The woman that was sitting in the other room was small and skinny. Her pale, shallow face was gaunt and lifeless. Her brown hair lay limp and thin around her face. She looked like she was half starved to death.

This was what my disappearance did to her. This was my fault. A strong wave of guilt washed over me, very nearly making my knees buckle from the weight of it all.

I stepped forward, placed my hand on the mirror and leaned closer, feeling the same tightening in my throat like earlier. It was a strange feeling, knowing that if I were human, I would be crying now.

I smiled and removed my hand from his arm as he opened the door, allowing me enter first. It was a small room with a large two-way mirror on one wall, my eyes were attracted to it immediately and the rest of the room may as well not be there. My body and mind was only on her.

But then my breathing hitched in my throat, the fire burnt through my body as I inhaled Doctor Cullen's scent. But I ignored it, or tried to. I shouldn't have been so taken aback by her moving, after all, she wasn't completely lifeless. But I had been watching her movements so closely, that the moment she looked directly at me, I took a step backwards.

Her eyes pierced through my ice cold body. They were darkened with secrets and sorrow as they bore into me. I moved further back, as if her stare repelled me. But I still didn't miss the way her lips moved. I didn't miss the way they moved as she spoke two words, names.

Mary Alice.

My hands were shaking as I moved towards the door. I tore my eyes from hers, just as Doctor Cullen started saying something about how she hadn't said her, _my_, name for almost four years now. But I didn't care, I wanted to get out of there and just run.

"I need to get of here," I told him quickly as I snatched the door open in my hurry. I was surprised I didn't pull the door right off its hinges. He followed me outside, signalling for one of the ward sisters to take my mother back to her room. He led me back down the corridor and into the main reception area, where he stopped.

He pulled out a card from his pocket and handed it to me. It was a business card, and a part of me was amused that I now had yet another Cullen business card. All I needed was Emmett's and I would have a full set.

"This is just in case you feel like talking," he told me as I looked down at the card. "I know things like this can be very hard on certain people."

_Did he think I was fainthearted? _I thought to myself. _Is that what I looked like to him?_ Then as I thought about it, I probably did. I looked like a seventeen year old girl to him.

"Thank you, Doctor Cullen. You have been more than helpful." My voice was small and weak, almost unrecognisable to my ears.

"I'm glad that I was of help to you, Miss Hale," he replied. "Actually, is it okay if I take your full name? I can put it on record to show that you have visited."

I closed my eyes briefly before opening them and meeting his eye. "Alice Hale." _Mary Alice Brandon._

I could see it in his eyes. It was like realisation, but with curiosity and confusion mixed in, too. I turned away from him before he would say anything on the matter, and stepped out of the building. A part of me hoped that I would meet him again, but I knew I wouldn't. I would never return here, and as much as that pained me, I knew I could never see my mother again. I had to leave her here.

I walked as far as my patience would take me, before I ran full pelt into the trees. I ran straight for almost five minutes, in a direction I wasn't sure of. I just kept running. I let it all roam around in my mind. Even with my vampire mind advantage, it was still so much to take in.

But above everything, I could feel the anger sizzling beneath my skin. It felt red hot in comparison to my cold exterior. There was one thing that fuelled that anger, and that was that it was all a lie. Everything. A lie.

Marcus had lied to me. Casper had lied to me, and worst of all, Shadow had lied to me as well. Every moment we'd spent together had been forged around a lie. Everything she had said had been a lie.

Shadow had known all along that my family was here, that my mother was the only one who survived, if you could call that surviving. No wonder Marcus refused to help me find my family. He knew that I would find out about my past.

But was that his plan all along? Did he pretend to be against it so that I would be more determined to find them? Was Shadow in on it too, was their fight staged? It must have been. That was all I could think.

I thought back to the way Casper had told me Marcus hated him. He said that Marcus hated him because of how he felt towards the eldest daughter, _me_. Casper had made their leader, Aro, take me, and in the process, he had killed my family.

Then what happened to Aro? He had been the one to turn me, but Shadow said he had been overpowered, and now I knew that _I_ was the one who overpowered him. I had killed him. I had gotten revenge for what he did to my family.

A twisted pleasure washed over me, and I felt a sadistic sneer form on my face at the thought.

He had hated Casper because of what had happened, because of what Casper had felt towards the eldest daughter. Casper had made Aro – their leader – take me, and in the process he killed my family.

But there was something in the back of my mind that was telling me that this wouldn't have happened if Casper hadn't of loved me. It was all because Casper loved me. Oh God, I was Casper's singer. What had happened last week? I had made the first move. _What have I done?_

There was a part of me that was glad I now knew the truth. But there was another part of me that wished I didn't know. I had suppressed those memories for a reason. I didn't want to relive them.

But I knew now, that I had to.

* * *

**A/N****: Well, that was interesting. What do you think of all the revelations? Do you hate them? Do you like them? What do you think? Let me know.**

**So****, Aro killed Alice's family. Casper is in love with Alice, and Alice's mum is basically just a shell of who she once was. To be honest, the whole mouthing 'Mary Alice' through the two way mirror thing really freaked me out.**

**Chapter ten is longer than this one, and I would say it is the most important chapter of this story.**


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N****: Chapter 10 :)**

**Firstly, Kathy, you make me laugh girl, th****is one's for you. And I promise if you don't want a teaser, I won't send one.**

**Writing updates: I only have four, possibly five**** chapters left to write of this story and eleven chapters to re-write/beta. It's rather upsetting, to be honest. I've been writing this story for such a long time, so I think I'll miss it when it's finally finished.**

**Okay, this is a long chapter, probably the longest in the story. It's also one**** of the most important chapters. It's the 'story' of what happened to Alice. I tried to do justice to Stephenie Meyer's 'burning' scene, but I honestly don't think I achieved it enough. Also, my newborn Alice isn't newborn enough. But it'll have to do.**

**New character****s are mentioned in this chapter. I'm sure you'll recognise their names, but they are still new to this story.**

**Disclaimer****: Even if I scribbled out Stephenie Meyer's name and wrote my own on the books, it still wouldn't mean it was mine.**

**I used and abused a section from the twilight movie, I modified it to fit in with t****he chapter, but yeah I got some parts from there.**

* * *

**Chapter 10 - How I Became Myself**

_**The Tale of Mary Alice Brandon – The First Day and Last Day of the Rest of My Life**_

I hated being seventeen. I couldn't do _anything_. Not only was I grounded from going outside, I was also grounded from seeing Jacob. Not that I stuck to that, of course. So what if I was outside after my curfew? It wasn't as if I was going to do anything that I shouldn't have been, _much_.

Okay, so maybe I was out with Jacob and the gang for hours after what I was meant to be, but it wasn't as if I was in danger. Jacob looked out for me. Hell, they _all_ looked out for me, right from the start. They called me the pale faced sister they wished they had. None of them would let harm come to me. Especially Jacob and now that our relationship seemed to be changing, evolving into something more, something special, I knew that it was truer than ever. But of course, my mother did not see it that way.

Mom was currently cooking dinner in the kitchen whilst Cynthia was sitting watching TV in the other room. I, on the other hand, was stuck on table duty. I had to lay the table, set the plates and cutlery. Mom really knew how to dish out the punishments when she wanted to.

I heard the front door open and my father's voice travelled through the house. Cynthia was greeting him, as usual. She was such a daddy's girl, seriously. I was tempted to throw something at her whenever she would be like that.

Mom came through a minute later and kissed him on the cheek, exclaiming that dinner would be ready soon. I couldn't really complain, Mom was making my favourite spaghetti Bolognese, and she always added extra cheese to mine because she knew that was how I liked it.

A rush of warmth and love came over me as she brought my plate in first, and as usual, there was a top layer of cheese.

"Thank you, Mom, it looks delicious," I told her, already picking up my fork on shovelling a forkful into my mouth.

"Glad to hear it, now tuck in, everyone," she told us all, before picking up her own fork and starting on her meal.

I wolfed down half the plate before Cynthia had eaten three forkfuls. I knew that I was small, okay, _really _small for my age, but Cynthia as just something else altogether. I swear she was like, half dwarf or something.

"All she needs now is a beard," I said, snickering to myself. When I realised my mistake of speaking aloud, I covered my mouth with my hand. I looked up from my plate to see my family staring at me, looking far from amused.

"Mary Alice, I've already told you not to say something like that about your little sister again. Apologise to her," Mom scolded. She always put on such an authoritative voice when telling us off.

I sighed, _my mother_. She knew full we that I _hated _being called by my full name. It was either Alice or nothing at all. I knew I couldn't argue though, not when she had just told me off.

I looked up at Cynthia, who was smiling back at me with a smug expression on her face. She was just waiting for her apology. She didn't even care what I said anymore, she just liked to watch me get in trouble. Even so, I was certain she'd get me back for the comment I made.

"Cynthia, my darling sister, will you forgive me?" I asking, putting on a fake accent and adopting the most overly sincere expression. I could see my father rolling his eyes next to me. The banter that passed between my sister and I always amused him.

She grinned at me and stuck her hand out across the table, waiting for me to shake. I smirked and held me hand out, shaking hers quickly. But as I pulled away, there was a loud crash coming from the front of the house.

We all jumped out of our seats, and instinctively, Mom pulled Cynthia and me behind her. I watched as my father rushed into the front room, only to stumble backwards, a look on abject fear on his face.

"Lizzy, take the girls! Get out of here!" he ordered, and without thinking, I pulled Cynthia towards the kitchen, my heart thumping painfully in my chest. We would be able to get out through the back door, and then I would run over the road to Jacob's house and call the police. I didn't know what was happening, and I was shaking so much that I could barely walk straight.

But there was a loud crash, and suddenly my father was gone. The only thing I heard was a sickening crunch, and a thump, as something fell to the floor. My mother's hand gripped my arm, and I turned to look at her, seeing her eyes, wild with fear.

A second later, Cynthia screamed, running forward out of my grasp. I shouted her name, as Mom did too, but I pushed Mom backwards as I ran forward after Cynthia. I tripped, falling to the ground. I looked up and watched as Cynthia stopped dead in her tracks.

I screamed as a hand connected with her body, and slammed her against the far wall. Her body crumpled to the floor, and I heard the blood curdling scream from my mother's throat just behind me.

I rushed to my sister's side as her body writhed. She spluttered, the blood in her throat and mouth choking her. Tears poured down my cheeks as I watched the life leave my sister's eyes, her body suddenly motionless.

The tears made me vision unreliable, but I didn't miss the way someone glided to a stop in front of me and kicked me in the chest, forcing me across the room. I felt a sharp pain, and I knew that one of my ribs had been shattered.

The blood pumped though my ears, blocking out every other sound around me. I clutched at my chest, choking, just as my sister had, on the blood in my throat. The pain was everywhere, I couldn't comprehend it. Breathing became harder; my ability to hear was gone. Red blotches formed over my vision, and all I could think about was that I was dying.

Then suddenly, someone was leaning over me, reaching for me, and I was powerless to do anything about it. The man was tall, his face chalky white. His hair was jet black and long. It framed his face in a wicked contrast against his skin. Yet that wasn't the most striking feature. His eyes were a deep shade of red, inhuman, monstrous.

The fear mixed with the pain, tangling its way into every fibre of my body. I was frozen, unable to move, unable to scream as he reached for me, picking me up by my throat.

I spluttered, coughing up blood. My vision turned hazy, blurring, but I still saw the hungry look in the fiend's eyes. Then as the darkness took me over, death finally taking me, I hoped that my mother would remain hidden, or had ran, just so that she wouldn't receive the same fate.

But the sudden change in contrast was incomprehensible. My body was cold, my mind drifting, dying. But the pain was red hot, scorching, and very much alive. It was travelling through my body quicker than a gasoline explosion, engraining itself into every pore.

The pain was everywhere, but nowhere at the same time, in that it had no origin, there was nowhere to pinpoint the source of the pain. The flames licked at me from every angle, as if there was fire, and I was standing right in the middle, burning.

I couldn't feel the pain from my previous injuries anymore, for that pain had merged and intensified. Nor could I tell where I was, or whether the monster still had his hand around my throat, choking the life out of me. I tried to concentrate on my throat, trying to isolate the sensation there, but there was nothing, just the inferno.

All I could feel was the pain. All I could smell was the pain. All I could hear was the pain. All I could taste was the pain.

I was pain, my death was pain.

The fire was my penance for a crime I could not remember committing. As the reason for this torture could only be retribution. Retribution for what, I did not know. But what I did know was that my sentence had been given, and I was now serving it.

Burning. Fire. Death.

I could feel the hands of death around me, pulling at me, and I knew that I was on the precipice of hell. I was teetering on the edge of the blaze, just not falling in and letting it consume me.

I tried to cry out and beg for death to take me, even though I knew I would not get the answer I was after. But the fire was relentless; the burning seemed to have no end.

* * *

I couldn't explain it, the sounds I was hearing. I couldn't explain them. They weren't associated with what was happening to me, no, they were something different, something _outside_.

I tried to make sense of the noises. Tapping. Beating. Pumping. My mind tried to associate the sounds with objects and entities, but without my sight, I found the task impossible.

But then I heard something different. Voices. And even though I couldn't match the voice with a face, I could match it with _something_, and I felt triumphant at that fact.

"How is she?" the first male asked, he sounded almost hesitant as he finished speaking. I did not understand why he was asking this, or who he was directing his question at.

"She's fine. I told you not to come here," the second male scolded. He didn't sound pleased at all that this person had arrived. _Who was speaking? _I didn't recognise their voices. Were they even talking about me? Surely not, although, they said _'she' _was fine. But I was the furthest thing from_ fine_.

"I had to see her," the first male complained. He sounded feeble and small compared to the other speaker. It was as if he was scared of the person he was talking to.

"Now you have. So get out, and go home." From what I could tell, he had authoritative power over the other male.

"Why are you doing this?" the first male asked, strained, as if he were in pain. But even though listening to their conversation was a distraction from the burning, I couldn't concentrate much longer. I couldn't ignore the burn forever.

"You know exactly why, and I've told you to leave," the second male commanded. There were no other voices after that, and so I could only assume that he had heeded what the man had said, and left.

But I knew there was someone there still. I could hear them. I tried to use my senses whenever possible. But it wasn't easy to push the burning to the back of my mind so that I could concentrate on my hearing.

After a while, I realised what the beating and pumping sounds were that I had heard earlier. The beating was my heart, as impossible as it sounded, was actually still beating, and the pumping was my heart working, pumping blood around my body. Except, it was not blood, it was the fire.

Once I had put an origin to the sound, I began wondering what was happening to me. The room was silent, but not quiet enough that I would be able to hear my heart beating. _What was happening to me?_

But the question was lost in my mind as I continued to listen to all the new sounds I could suddenly hear. It was a great distraction to the burning pain that was still coursing through my veins. It was like a hot poker forcing its way in. But bit by bit, the pain seemed to be subsiding.

Slowly yet surely, I began to feel the pain ebb away from my finger tips and toes, and as I waited for the pain free areas to grow, I focused on moving the body parts that were _safe_ from the burning.

Then as I was getting used to the idea of the fire fading from within me, it suddenly got much, _much _worse. Unable to hear anything over the frantic beating of my heart, I wasn't sure whether I cried out. Nor did I know whether I thrashed my arms and legs, trying to override the pain.

If I was unsure before, I knew that it was my heart that I had hearing. It seemed to be louder in my ears now, beating faster. It was as if I was reaching the climax, and as I ground my teeth together, I prayed that it was end soon.

Then suddenly, the beating stopped altogether. One minute, it was threatening to escape my chest in a bloody mess, the next, utter silence. But before I could begin worrying about the fact I was going to die, the fire disappeared. It was as if a black hole had sucked the pain away.

The contrast between the fire and the very sudden _nothingness _was vast, and I could hardly comprehend it. I tried to wrap my head around it, but all I could think about was that it was the end, and that I must have finally slipped over the edge.

But as more seconds passed, and I found that my mind and senses were all functioning correctly, I realised that I really wasn't going anywhere. I remained completely stationary as I tried to think about my next move. Did I open my eyes? Or did I try to move first?

I chose the latter, and settled on moving my fingers. I felt my eyebrows rise slightly as my fingers brushed up against one another. I must have felt the action happen so many times before, but in that moment, it felt new, as if I was experiencing it for the first time.

Now that I covered the movement, I knew that I had to open my eyes. At first, they wouldn't open; it was as if I had _forgotten_ how to open them. But slowly, my eyelids parting, opening me to a whole new world.

The first thing I noticed was how much clearer and sharper my vision was. Not only could I see every crack and lines of age in the ceiling above me, I could also see the particles of dust floating in the air. I exhaled and watched as the particles flew in different directions.

The action fascinated me, and I did it again. Something caught my attention from the corner of my eye, and I turned in the direction of the little moth that had flown by me. Without thinking, I swiped it out of the air. But as I did so, there was a loud clatter on the floor, and I froze to the spot, the moth forgotten about.

I lifted my arm into my line of sight, and studied my wrists. The skin was paler now, and looked smoother than normal. But that wasn't what I studied; it was the item _around _my wrist that I looked at.

There had been something holding me down. But as I had moved my arm just a moment ago, it had broken the clasp that held me down. I sat up and snapped the buckle around my other wrist, then looked to the floor, where the source of the noise had come from. As expected, there were the broken remains of what was once used to restrain me.

I frowned, looked towards me feet. It didn't surprise me to see that my ankles, too, were tied to the table. I gritted my teeth, pulling my feet free with what felt like very little force. I began wondering where my sudden bout of strength and speed came from, when I heard footsteps.

I bolted from the table, my eyes darting around me rapidly. The bed, or torture cot as I now saw it, was behind me, forgotten, just like the moth. My fingers curled into fists, and as I watched the doorway where the footsteps were coming from, I felt my upper lip quiver. But not from fear, no, this was a different emotion. This emotion was red hot and all consuming within my chest.

The door opened, and I tensed as if preparing myself to pounce and attack. My initial course of action was to assault him. His face was something I remembered. But it was as if I was looking at the memory of him through blurred, hazy eyes. However, that did not prevent me from associating his face with his actions against my family.

I bared my teeth as a low hissing sound escaped my lips. I felt the anger boil beneath my skin as the heat of this emotion grew in strength with each second that passed.

"You did this to me?" I spat, my voice sounding higher, and without the intonation of spit that was laced into it, it would have sounded almost musical to my ears.

"Yes," he said, nodding, and evidently totally oblivious to my fury. "Isn't it wonderfully fascinating?"

I saw red as his words registered in my mind. _Wonderfully fascinating?_ That was all it took to push me completely over the edge. I took a step towards him, my whole body quivering.

"What have you _done_?" I snarled through my teeth. I had to urge to take his life, and as I clenched my hands even tighter, I knew it wouldn't take much to carry out the monstrous task. He deserved to pay for what he did to me and my family. I shuddered minutely then;_ the family I used to have_.

"You have been chosen, young one, to join my family. I'm sure you are aware of vampires-" But I didn't let him continue because I _had_ a family, I didn't want any other.

I didn't think about what I was doing as I lunged at him. The pain and anger he had caused fuelled my rage, and I went on what felt right. He was startled by my outburst, and even though he was over two feet taller than me, he was still unable to react as I lashed out at him.

I wasn't necessarily expecting my hands to go any harm, or at least, I wasn't expecting them to do _this_ much harm. But the hair-raising shriek that escaped his lips did not falter me, it did not stop me when I realised I was causing him a lot of pain. In fact, it made me persist, but most of all, it made me feel _alive_. A part of me knew that I was turning into a monster, but yet again, I did not care. I wanted to commit this murder; I wanted to get my revenge.

My mind had been taken over by a sadistic murderer. I was an animal devouring its prey, and what was most obvious to me, was that it didn't feel wrong. It didn't feel as if I shouldn't be doing this; it felt _right_ and _good,_ and that realisation did not scare me.

* * *

I wasn't sure how the fire started. One minute I was pulling him apart with my bare hands, and then the next minute, the curtains were on fire. I should have watched where I threw the items around the room. In my revenge riddled brain, all I could do was trash the room, and that was when the fire had started.

It was only when the fire grew larger, and got closer, very nearly pulling me into its fiery grasps, did I retreat from the room. As soon as I realised that the house was bigger than I first thought, I turned towards the window. I slid the window upwards, only to find that I shattered the glass within and nearly pulled the whole window panes clean off the wall.

Staring at the window in shock, I knew that something serious had happened to me. But as soon as the fire started spreading through the rooms, I knew that I had to forget the window, and get out of the house. My main priority was to stay alive.

As I stood at the window, looking down at the ground, I wondered how I was going to get down. I turned back towards the fire, and when I realised that it was closer than I first thought, I turned back towards the window and jumped.

When I landed, I was surprised to find that I felt no pain. It should have shattered the bones within my legs as I landed, but it felt as if I had landed at my own pace. The notion seemed absurd to me, but as I heard the windows above me smashing, I moved away from the house.

Knowing that I had to get away from the house before the police arrived, I started running. I'd never been a runner when I was in school, that was always Jacob's thing, and even though I enjoyed being athletic, I'd never imagined I could run like _this_.

My feet pounded against the sodden ground too quickly for my eyes to follow, and as I came to an abrupt stop, I had to look around, completely bewildered. I was over one hundred metres away from the burning house, and I had only started moving a few seconds ago.

I spun around, taking large intakes of breath. But it didn't help, and as I inhaled again, it felt strange and uncomfortable. It was almost as if my body wasn't dependant on air anymore, and as I began running once again, I realised that my theory was true.

The trees whistled past me at an alarming rate. It was a blend of green and brown around me as I pushed myself forward. Strangely, I didn't hit any branches, nor did I trip over as I ran over the gnarled tree roots. In some sense, it was as if I _knew _where they were in a forest that I'd never visited before.

I realised quickly that I didn't need to inhale as I ran. I didn't get a stitch in my side that should have formed minutes ago. I didn't even feel like I was tiring _at all_. A grin formed on my face, and then as my strides got faster, the grin grew until I was laughing manically to myself.

I wasn't sure how long I had been running, but I knew that I must have covered _miles _in just a few minutes. I also knew that if I wanted to, I could find it again, but I didn't want to, I never wished to return there again.

It was only when the sky was starting to dim, did I realise that I wasn't feeling any kind of exhaustion _at all._ I knew that it must be twilight by now, the end of the day. I should have been at home eating my dinner, or preparing to go out with the gang, and yet I was wide awake.

Also, I definitely was not hungry, not while my throat _burned_ this much. It was as if I had swallowed the hottest chilli. It felt like my throat was scorched, and when I tried to swallow, it only made things worse. It was as if I was licking the forest floor in that I could taste _everything_ around me.

It tasted _revolting_. I wondered whether I would vomit, but then I realised I wouldn't have anything to bring up. Who knew how long it had been since I had eaten. Mom's spaghetti seemed a lifetime ago – damn I couldn't even remember it, and even though I knew I hadn't eaten in such a long time, the thought of food did not make me hungry.

_Mom! _A second later, I remembered her once again. I could barely picture her face now. It was like my memories were clouded, as if everything was foggy, and nothing would clear out. I clenched my teeth as I tried to push through the fog clouding my memories, but I couldn't do it.

I looked up at the sky then, and saw the clouds that hid the stars, wondering if they were going to pass and let me see the stars. The stars were like my memories.

Yet as they finally cleared, and the stars came out, my memories remained hidden. I groaned angrily as I carried on moving. I knew I should stop moving, but whenever I did, I grew bored, and something distracted me, and I would run again.

But when the sun rose in the sky, I stopped.

The canopy of trees I had been running under, didn't allow very much sunlight to peek through the gaps. I was constantly in the shade as I ran. That was until an opening in the trees allowed a ray of sunlight to cast onto a patch of grass in front of me.

As I stepped out into the sunlight, I saw a flash of light, _diamonds, _and I jumped back into the shade, startled. _What the hell was that? _I thought to myself as I looked around, trying to find the source of the strange, sudden shards of light I had seen.

After a long moment, I cautiously stepped out into the sunlight, wondering if the source of the light was going to appear as soon as I moved, and sure enough, as soon as the sunlight beamed down onto me, the _diamonds _returned.

But unlike before, I didn't move backwards. No, something else caught my attention, and that something was my skin. I stared at my hand, my eyes wide. Wherever the sun hit my skin, it sparkled, as if a million diamonds were embedded into it.

I raised my hand so that it was level with my eye line, and then flipped my hand around a number of times. Without thinking, I moved back out of the sun, and studied my hand once again. It was pale white again, though even that was normal. My hand was usually a peachy colour, but now it was the palest white I'd ever seen.

My new skin distracted me for a while longer before the burning in my throat became all I could think about once again. My throat felt as if it was on fire, and I couldn't understand it. I had run by a river that looked relatively clean, yet when I drank, it didn't quench my thirst.

Not only that, it didn't taste right at all either. I had only taken a small amount of water into my mouth, but as it touched my tongue, I was repulsed, and I spat it out immediately. The same thing happened when I came across a bush full of berries.

So as I ran, I began to think about my situation. Whatever had happened to me, whatever that man had done to me, had made me like this. All that pain I felt was for this. So many things were now different.

I was impossibly fast, and strong – strong enough in fact, to pull a man apart with my bare hands and destroy a window. Then there was the fact that my skin had become pale, like an albino, but more than that, it now _sparkled_ in the sun. That was the hardest thing to come to terms with.

Although the fact that I never needed to eat or drink wasn't something easy to comprehend. My head hurt just thinking about it. What the hell had happened to me?

* * *

Another day went by, and the pain in my throat grew stronger with every second that passed me by. Not know what was causing this pain in my throat, was driving me crazy, and I wanted to know how to stop it, or at least soothe the burn.

Who knew where I was running to, I just kept running. For some reason, I always remained in the forest, and always on my own, too, as I hardly even came across animals. Wherever I went, the forest seemed to remain eerily silent, and I began to wonder if there was anything out there anymore.

But only an hour or so after that thought came to me, I started hearing something that in a strange way, sounded familiar to me. It was a beating noise, a pulsing in my ears. My eyes darted around the area, trying to figure out the source of this sound.

The burning in my throat seemed to intensify in a matter of seconds, and my hand shot up to my neck in pain. I wanted to claw my throat out, but instead I let out a deafening cry as the beating and pulsing intensified. As the sound got closer, it changed into a wet, thumping noise, and I turned in the direction it was coming from, feeling my whole body being enticed towards it.

I wasn't expecting to see the middle aged man standing there, nor did I expect to see the shotgun he was holding. Seeing the gun should have scared me, made me cower. But instead I gritted my teeth, holding back another cry of pain. Who was this man, and what was he doing to me?

There was a cautious look in his eyes as he came closer. The thumping noise was so close now, so enticing, and it was driving me into a complete frenzy. Not only that, but the _smell_. It was cloying, sweet, and the scent of it swirled around me, making my mouth water.

A low growl rumbled in my chest as I felt something swelling within my chest. It was like before, with that…wicked man that did this to me. It was as if a monster was infusing itself within me once again.

My growl must have scared him because he uttered, "What are you?"

At the sound of his voice, I pounced at him and wrenched the gun from his hands. I threw it towards a nearby tree, where it shattered into a thousand pieces. The man tried to move away from me, but my hand shot out and curled around his neck, squeezing.

I was about to murder him, and where I should have felt fear and guilt, I felt exhilaration.

He gasped for breath as he tried to break free from my hold, but it was too strong; he didn't stand a chance. Fear and defeat were the last things I saw in his eyes before he closed them for the final time. He was dead before my finger broke through the thin layer of skin on his neck, letting the deep red, warm blood run down my arm.

It all happened so quickly after that. As soon as the blood was spilt, my throat seized up, burning like an inferno. Without thinking, I leant forward, running my tongue along the trail of blood on my pale white skin. The taste was like nothing I'd tasted before. There were a hundred words to describe it, yet at the same time, there were none that fully encapsulated it.

A cry of satisfaction left my lips a second before I closed them around his neck, sinking my teeth into the soft, pink flesh. With a quick, hungry drag, I felt blood rolling down my throat, soothing the burning ache in its path. A soft moan vibrated into his skin as I continued to suck the blood from his body.

However after a minute, the blood ran dry. I took a long pull, trying to have one more drop. But there was nothing left, so I pulled away, letting the lifeless body fall from my grasp.

My tongue darted out, licking any traces left around my mouth. But even that wasn't enough; I needed more, wanted more, and I had no idea where to find it. I sat for a moment revelling in the euphoria that it had given me. My throat was still aching, but not like before. I felt a short burst of contentment as I realised I'd found a cure to the burn.

But as I looked down at the body, it dawned on me what I had done. I'd killed a man. I was a murderer. Killing that _monster _before did not count. That was revenge, it was _justified_. But this, no, this was pure, cold-blooded murder.

_Blood_. A twisted smile formed on my face as I thought about the taste once again. It may have been murder, but I was finding it hard to feel remorse and guilt when it tasted so good.

Although, it still left me with questions. Like, what had I become? What had that monster done to me? None of this was normal, none of this was natural. Then I remembered the last thing he said to me before I'd attacked him. I hadn't registered it before, I hadn't listened. I'd been too riddled with anger to listen. But of course, now it all made sense.

"_I'm sure you are aware of vampires…"_

It hit me then, like a wrecking ball. The realisation was so profound that I nearly fell backwards onto the ground. His words spun around in my mind, or more precisely, one word.

_Vampires…vampires…vampires…_

I was a vampire.

A part of me knew that I should have been disgusted and scared at the realisation. But when being a vampire made you crave things that was so tantalising and beyond anything ever experienced before, I found it hard to feel that way.

Although, I guess a part of me _was_ scared about what I had become. Mainly because of the things I would never be able to do or the people I wouldn't be able to see.

Gasping loudly, I remembered the faces of my friends - Jacob, Jared, Paul, Embry, Quil, and then the face of my mother, smiling at me. After what had happened here now, I knew that I couldn't go back to them. I was sure, if I found my bearings, then I would find them. But I couldn't, unless I wanted to kill them. I shuddered.

There was only one thing I could do, and that was to forget them. Forget they ever existed, that _I _ever existed in a world where they _were_ my world.

After a long moment of deciding what my next move was going to be, I settled on burning the body first. I couldn't bear the look at it, as it reminded me why

* * *

what had just happened was wrong. No matter how satisfied killing him as been, I wasn't going to look at the unfortunate victim, not in any case.

The smell that exuded from the burning body was disgusting, and like before with the blood, the scent enveloped around me. I couldn't handle it, and for a moment, it felt as if I was going to bring up the blood that I had drank earlier. But nothing happened, so I merely walked away from the massacre I had just committed.

I was only walking a short while when I came across a small house surrounded by the trees. Even from this far away, the intricate details were not overlooked. It was a small, and made of brick and stone. There were a few windows along the walls I could see, and they were surrounded by a thin, wooden frame. The walls were worn by time and age, and across one side, there was ivy and moss covering the majority.

It was then that I realised that this house was where the man I'd just murdered lived. I felt a short pang of sadness when I realised that he lived alone. Not only had I killed a man, I'd killed someone who was all alone in the world.

The place was definitely abandoned. I could tell that without having to strain my hearing. I knew there was no one here, and I also knew that there were no electric generators in any direction for at least a mile. So that meant there was no electricity, either. To my left, I spotted a small well, and I found it hard to believe that someone lived like this.

There was nothing modern about the house, nothing to show that he lived in the decade of colour TVs and fast cars. It was as if he was living in the past, and not venturing into civilisation often.

As I walked closer, I found only one door. A white, wooden one, with the paint peeling away in flakes. I grimaced at the thought of what it would look like inside. I could only imagine.

I pushed the door slightly, and without much effort, it swung open. The rich smell of wood and dust greeted me as I ventured into the first room. It was undersized, much like the house itself. There was a stove, with a table next to it. Inspecting the few cupboards, I found a little food, but I barely paid any thought towards it. Nothing appealed me there.

Making my way into the next room, I spotted a large bookcase with many worn out books and a few ornaments decorating it. The room must have been used for a lounging area, where he could relax, and by the looks of things, sit and read quietly.

My eyes landed on the fireplace. The fire was out now, but from the few glowing embers, and little smoke, I knew that it hadn't been out for long. The man must have heard me, grabbed his gun and gone to investigate. I tried to picture it in my mind, and as I thought about it, I wondered what I must have sounded like, and more importantly, what he thought he was going to find. He'd taken his gun, so maybe he thought I was an animal.

I shook my head, not caring enough to put more thought into it. I glanced behind me and saw the couch and knitted throw over. The room was minimal and very old-fashioned. I guessed the state of the room fitted the style of the house. I could tell immediately that he was the only person to ever live here. There would have been something different if a woman had lived here, more of a feminine touch.

After looking over the mantelpiece above the fireplace, I realised that I hadn't seen one photo frame or picture. Not one of a wife, child or relative. He was completely alone, just like I was now.

Trying not to dwell on that fact, I made my way towards the small staircase that was in the far corner of the room. Arriving on the second floor landing, I saw that there were only two doors. Making my way towards the closest door, I found that it led into a tiny bathroom that held only a plain bathtub with a brown jug next to the washbasin.

My eyes widened as I studied the jug. A grimace found its way onto my face as I thought about what he was using the jug for. _Please say he didn't was with water from the well._

I shook my head at the thought, but as I did so, something caught my eye. There was a mirror behind the jug, and I'd caught a flash of my reflection. Or at least, I _thought_ it was my reflection.

I sprinted towards the mirror, and gasping when I saw the person staring back at me. The girl in front of me was incredibly pale with blemish-free skin. Her features were more defined, and matched up on either side of her face. However, as I looked closer, there were subtle similarities, like the shape of the lips that said the old me was still in there somewhere.

Although, that wasn't what surprised me the most. No, it was my eyes that were the most different. They were once a very pale blue, almost gray colour, but now they were a terrifying blood red colour, just how _his_ had been. I was undeniably a monster of the worst kind.

I instantly stepped away from the mirror after that, not wanting to see the red eyes anymore. I knew then that I was never going to be able to go out in public again. People would see that I was different; they would ask what I was, just as the man had.

After exiting the bathroom, I made my way over to the other door, knowing that it was going to be his bedroom. I was surprised to see that there was a double bed in the centre of the room, although the sheets were ruffled and dirty. I cringed away from them as I took a look around the room.

There was another couch adjacent to the bed, and next to the couch was a large window, probably large enough for the couch to actually fit through. The window looked out of place, but nonetheless I went towards it, pushing the frame upwards.

I leant out of the window and scanned the area below. Like the house, the garden was very minimal, with only a few random vegetables growing in the soil. I could only assume that he used those for food, and then hunted for meat.

Leaning back into the room, I looked at the bed. No one would ever sleep in it again, but I would keep it. Just as I would keep everything else in the house. Even if I knew I wouldn't use most of it, I would still live here. I would still try to make this my home. I knew already that I didn't want to continue running.

I started removing the bed sheets first. I ripped them from the mattress and threw them out the window. Lucky there was not enough wind to obscure their path as they fell to the ground. I left the room then and went back downstairs, in search of matches. Luckily I found a box sitting near the stove, and went outside to burn the sheets. The smoke wasn't thick enough to attract attention, even though it billowed up into the sky.

By the time the embers had died it was getting quite dark. So I returned to the bedroom and picked up the mattress in one quick movement. I was about to place it down outside to air, when a flash of green caught my eye. No, correction: a flash of _a lot _of green caught my eye.

_Holy shit!_

There were rolls and rolls of American dollars stashed under the mattress. I picked one up, examining it. Each note was either a one hundred bill or fifty. My eyes widened in surprise as I scanned the other bundles. Each must have held over a thousand dollars each, and there were_ twelve _rolls.

I always thought it was just a stupid saying that people kept their money under their mattress. _But_ _obviously not_, I thought to myself. I picked up each roll, examining them separately. Maybe I thought that this was a hoax, or that they were fake. But after inspection, I found that they were, in fact, real. I _should _have felt bad for taking his money, but I didn't.

I found it hard to understand why he would have so much money in his house. It didn't make sense at all. If this money was his, why did he not make a better life for himself? Why did he not move away from this small house in the woods? Why keep it hidden away?

Shaking my head, I piled the rolls of money together then went looking for something to place them in. Inside the cupboard I found an empty rucksack. After placing the money into the bag, I went back outside and looked up at the house. I knew that it would never feel like home to me, but it was the closest that I was ever going to get.

This was the first day of the rest of my life.

* * *

**A/N****: Well, what did you think about that? Did you like to see how Alice became a vampire? I know it was evil what I did to her family. But this is a world where evil vampires exist, so what did you expect? **

**Now, the whole reviewing lark. Any of you feel like reviewing? If you're reading this, and you've gotten to the end, you're obviously interested with this story or else ****you wouldn't have just read seven thousand odd words. Just say 'nice', 'liked it', 'it's alright' or even 'update soon'. **_**Anything**_**. I just want to know people are interested. Not too much to ask, is it?**


	12. Chapter 11

**A/N****: Chapter 11!**

**Yet more revelations are coming out in this chapter. They are probably ones you won't actually expect, but will make you go 'oh I see that now!' Well, hopefully anyway.**

**I have nothing more to write here, so I all I will say is I can't wait till you guys read chapters thirteen, fourteen and fifteen. I honestly love them.**

**Disclaimer****: Stephenie Meyer is rolling in her big bundle of cash she got from writing Twilight. Whereas I, on the other hand, am rolling on my screwed up five pound note which is about 0.000000000000000001% of what SM has right about now.**

**I used some lines from the Twilight movie again. You'll recognise them, I'm sure.**

* * *

**Chapter 11 - Different Diets**

For the first time since my change, my legs gave way beneath me and I crumpled to the floor. There had been a reason why I never tried to relive that section of my past. That was why I'd compressed it into the back of my mind, locking it away so that I couldn't think about those memories again. It was just too hard to relive them.

But now I remembered what happened. Now I remembered what it was that made my mother into the person she was today. Now I could remember how it was my entire fault. She was there because of me.

Some things were best left in the past.

In that moment I wished that I was human once again. I wanted to feel the hot tears that would have accompanied these raging emotions inside me. But, of course, I was never going to cry again, all because of the coven. They had ruined so many lives, and now I knew that I had been one of their many victims. However, I was one of their victims they didn't fully get to.

I wanted to let out a loud cry of anger and anguish. But I knew that if I did, then one of the coven members would hear and come to investigate. Just thinking about their faces made me incredibly angry. If I saw them now, I knew that I'd have enough strength and determination to pull them apart and burn the pieces, just as I'd done with their predecessor, Aro.

I stood up in one, swift movement. My whole body was shaking with fury. I wanted them to pay for what they did to me and my family. There had been no just cause for them to do that. Having a fixation on a human was certainly not a reasonable excuse. I knew what that felt like, I was going through it now. But that didn't mean I was gallivanting off and changing Jasper at the first chance I got. I wasn't greedy; I knew what I'd do to Esme if I took Jasper from her. I had a family, just like Jasper, but it seemed the coven didn't care.

I reached out for the nearest tree and wrapped my fingers around a branch. Exerting as much force as possible, I pulled half the tree up with it, throwing it through the air. I had a sudden urge, so I chased after the branch and caught it midflight.

"As _if_ you could outrun me!" I cried, smugness oozing out of my words as I spoke.

I tightened my grip on the branch and watched as it cracked and crumbled into small, splintered pieces. Brushing the pieces from my hands, I turned towards another tree and punched my fist as hard as I could into the centre. It split down the middle on impact. My hand very nearly left a hole.

"As if you could fight me off," I continued, and this time, I pictured the faces of those I was talking to. I laughed evilly to myself at the thought. One down, three to go.

I would get my revenge somehow, of that I was certain.

* * *

After the revelation, I had to let out my stress on a couple more trees before I realised that I needed to hunt again. I looked around at the devastated woodland. Just seeing the destroyed woodland, I knew that environmentalists would have problems trying to work out what did this kind of damage.

I ran north, not really searching for my next victim, but more enjoying the breeze as it whistled by me. Suddenly, my senses were filled with a new scent. It wasn't human but it was _close_ to it. I slowed to a more practical pace, and then inhaled again. Whatever it was, it didn't smell half bad.

The scent was coming from somewhere ahead of me, so I stalked forward, not wanting to scare it away. I could hear a heartbeat, so whatever it was, it was alive. I crouched down to the floor in a predatory manner, preparing myself for an attack. That was when I saw it. It was a stag, standing tall and proud – utterly unaware of my presence.

I moved forward just a few more steps. I wasn't sure why, but I was tempted by this animal, and the closer I got, the more venom starting to course through my body. If I were human I could have said this animal was positively mouth watering.

Calculating my attack quickly in my mind, I knew that it didn't have I clue that I was here. I wasn't standing in the line of the wind, so unless it had perfect hearing, it would be totally oblivious– well, until it was too late, of course.

Crouching onto my toes, I prepared myself to pounce. I then lunged forward at a speed only a vampire would be able to follow. The stag collapsed underneath my weight straight away. I almost felt sorry for it, as the stag really didn't stand a chance, not against me.

Its struggles were futile as I sank my teeth easily into its skin. It was easier than what I thought it would be to drink its blood. I'd assumed that nothing would be the same as drinking human blood. I had thought that the taste of animal blood would have been _revolting_ and not a good source of nourishment.

I was surprised to find that not only did it sooth the burning desire of my thirst, but it also tasted tolerable. The taste was completely wrong, I couldn't deny that, but it was a nice wrong, a wrong that I could get used to if I had to.

It was then, as I let the carcass fall to the floor, I realised I had found a new source of sustenance. If I chose to hunt animals instead of humans, it would mean I didn't have to take another life. I didn't have to take the life of someone that would have a family at home, waiting for them to return.

I thought it over for a long moment. Could I really go the rest of, well, _forever_, living on the blood of an animal? Would I be able to do that? One thing I knew for sure was that my self restraint needed to be much stronger.

Drinking the human blood wasn't helping me accustom myself to being around Jasper. I was certain it was making things harder for me. I knew that if I took that temptation away and only hunted animals, then gradually, over time, it would be easier for me to be around Jasper.

So it was settled. I knew that as soon as I realised it would make it easier to be around Jasper, then I would give it a go. Sure, it would be hard, but I was up for the challenge. I'd said before that I would do anything for Jasper, and if it meant changing my _diet_, then so be it.

Maybe once Jasper passed on, I would go back to my _old_ ways and hunt humans once again. Or maybe I wouldn't want to go back to being the monster, maybe I would want to remain faithful, in honour of Jasper.

As I ran back towards the house, I thought about what it would really be like to hunt animals. I would probably have to hunt more often, but that was a bonus, in some ways, in that it would take up more of my time.

It didn't take long for me to reach the outskirts of the main town. It felt good to use my newfound energy. In a strange way, I felt…fresh. I shook my head, laughing lightly to myself as I jumped back through my window. That was just absurd.

"Do share the joke."

I immediately fell into an aggressive stance, baring my teeth at Shadow. She looked alarmed as she processed my attitude towards her. She wouldn't know what I'd found out. She wouldn't know that I wanted each and every one of their lives _ruined_.

"What are you doing here?" My voice was harsh, biting. I straightened up, but I couldn't keep the bitterness out of my voice.

"I came to see you. Is that such a crime?" she replied, almost defensively. "I wanted to know how you have been holding up. Where have you been all day?"

I processed the question for a second, and then calculated the best answer to give her. I could either tell her that I had been to the place she told me not to go, or I could lie. Without a doubt, I knew that I would lie. It wasn't as if she wasn't familiar with lying herself.

"I went on a long hunt. I took longer than what I thought I would," I told her in the same tone.

"Oh," was her only response as she gave me a quick smile. Instantly I was aware of the tone in her voice, it was as if she didn't believe me. Did she know that I was hiding something from her?

"So, Shadow," I began. "I was wondering about your contacts. You see, they found out what my mother's name was, so surely they must have found out what _my_ name was, too."

She opened her mouth to say something, but she hesitated on her words. I knew straight away she didn't want to give me a response.

"I wish I could tell you Alice, I really do." Even though I listened for any indication, I couldn't hear the lie in her voice. She was indeed a very good actress. "But it seems as if whoever it was that changed you, decided to wipe any records of your very existence."

The anger bubbled up inside me quicker than the click of a finger. I didn't like people lying to me about something as important as this. In fact, I didn't like people lying to me whatsoever. However, even though a part of me wanted her to know what I was feeling, I couldn't let her see that now. I was always good at a poker face.

"Oh, I didn't know that you could do that kind of thing," I replied, trying to sound nonchalant. In my mind, I was directing that at her, and I was certain that she saw it that way, too, especially how she stiffened at the word _'you'_.

"Yes, well, I'm sorry that we couldn't help you find out what your name was." Again, she sounded as if she was actually sorry. "I know it's something you really want to find out."

"I'm sure it will crop up somewhere. Maybe someone will say it in passing, or mention it in a story, and then I will remember, just like that."

I clicked my fingers as I finished, making her jolt. I could see it in her eyes, I could see the way her mind working silently, trying to work out what I hinting at. But the look of determination on her face told me that she didn't want to believe it. When she finally spoke I knew that to be true.

"Yes, maybe. I'm sorry, Alice, but I must go. It's Marcus, you know," she said, her expression telling me that she wanted to get as far away from here as possible.

She shrugged her shoulders, using Marcus as an excuse to leave once again. But I wasn't taking it; I was having too much fun watching her squirm. I was sick of the little games she was playing, I was sick of her using Marcus as an excuse every time she wanted to get away from a situation she didn't want to be in.

She turned away from me and went towards the window. She didn't look back at me, like she usually did. No, this time she just stepped towards the window. I waited until the moment she was about to climb out before I activated my plan.

"Mary. Alice. Brandon," I told her, taking short pauses between each word. I watched her tense as each word reached her ears. There was no way I was letting her leave now.

She turned back into the room, standing up to face me. She held her head high, but I could see in her eyes that she was already intimidated. I remembered back to the first time we met, the way she flinched away from me. I knew then that she would be the easiest to break, and I was right.

"What?" Her voice was timid, weak, and held no strength. I took a step towards her, tilting my head slightly to the left.

I sneered at her before repeating myself. "My name is Mary. Alice. Brandon."

She whimpered and took a step back. I knew she was planning on taking flight, and that I couldn't allow. She made a move towards the window, but I was already one step ahead of her. I was faster than her, and even though she was closer to the window than I was, I got there first, blocking her exit.

She tried to move away from me, but I reached out with my hand and grasped her neck in a vice like grip. I pushed her up against the wall and used all my strength to hold her there. She wouldn't be able to move, even if she tried.

"Did you really think I wouldn't find _out_?" I yelled; my face inches from hers.

"We were going to tell you," she said, stuttering, as fear rippling out of her in waves.

I laughed sardonically at her response, then spat, "Bullshit." I was fed up with all the lies. I tightened the grip around her neck.

"So when was that going to be, huh? When were you going to tell me?" I cried, my tone turning maniacal. "Because I remember asking you just now whether you knew, and you said you didn't. Funny that."

"Please, Alice, please let me just explain," she begged, her voice so quiet it was almost childlike now. But I wasn't having any of it, and I let out a growl, getting more aggravated by the second.

"I'm tired of all your lies! I just want to end your pointless life, as it seems to revolve around falsehood and nothing else," I spat, tightening the grip around her throat to show her I wasn't joking.

"No, please, Alice, listen to me, let me explain first. After all that we've been through, please?" She looked me directly in the eyes and pleading with me. I dropped my hand from her throat but didn't move back, I wanted to hear what it was that she came out with. Though I knew it was going to be lies. It was always going to be lies.

"You have five minutes," I informed her, my voice curt. "You try lying to me and I swear I will end your life like I did Aro's."

She flinched at my words, and it was then I realised she didn't know I knew about that part of my past.

"How did-" But I cut her off, not allowing her to finish.

"Does it matter how I came to know of the truth?" I gritted my teeth as she wasted more of her short explanation time.

She didn't answer, not at first. I could tell that she was wondering how much more I knew, so I pulled back my sleeve and deliberately tapped the watch, showing her that her time was running out. I smiled inwardly as I remembered it was Jasper's watch I was taping. Shadow noticed the watch, but didn't question it.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I'm sorry for everything; right from the start I should have been truthful with you. You must have known I wanted to, do you remember when you first came to the coven house? Do you not remember what Marcus said?"

I went silent for a full minute as I thought back to the first meeting in the coven house. I remembered the sentence Marcus had said clearly.

_"I think there are a lot of things that she has not informed you of. She wanted to, but she knows not to."_

"That doesn't mean you're forgiven. It's not as if you couldn't have told me afterwards in private." She knew full well that she could have told me when Marcus wasn't around. "Why are you all so scared of Marcus? He has no hold over you."

"Oh, Alice, how I wish that were true. You think I would be able to just leave if one day I felt like starting a new life? He has the connections to make my life a misery, Alice. He can do things that you can't even imagine. I have to protect the ones I love, and if that means spending their lifetime in the control of Marcus, then so be it."

For a moment, I thought about who she wanted to protect. Obviously it was a human, as she said she would spend their lifetime with Marcus. That alone proved they were not immortal.

"Who are you protecting? Alexander?" I demanded. "I thought Marcus doesn't know about him? Or were you lying about that, too. For all I know, he might not even exist."

"Of course he is real," she replied, almost angrily so in fact. I knew for once, she was telling the truth. "But no, it's not Alexander I want to protect. Although I'm surprised Marcus doesn't know yet, especially with what he can do. I would protect him, though, if I had to. But he's not the life that I fear for. You're not the only one who has living family members."

I frowned as she finished. I thought she had killed her family. Marcus said she'd been thirsty.

"I only went to see my father, but after what happened, I didn't try meeting my brother. In truth, I've never met him in person, but I love him because he's the only remaining human from my past, from when I was Jane. Alec was born four years after my disappearance. He's sixty seven years old now."

I almost chocked as she told me her brother was sixty seven, which meant that Shadow - or Jane, as she was once called - had been a vampire for seventy one years. It made my seven and a half years minuscule.

"I can't let anything happen to him, Alice, I can't," she told me, her tone full of fear. "He's lived a long life, and he's still got years ahead of him. I can't let someone end his life like that."

I hadn't been expecting the anger to erupt inside of me so strongly. But her words made me think of my own sister, little Cynthia who was only fourteen years old, _she _her whole life ahead of her.

"I had a sister too, you know. She was fourteen, Shadow, _fourteen_. Yet he killed her with just a flick of his hand without a second thought. Don't you _dare_ tell me your brother doesn't deserve to die that way because my family didn't deserve it, yet they still got it anyway."

She cowered in front of me as I shouted at her. I didn't care whether it was fair of me to let my anger out on her, as in my eyes, it _was_ fair. She should have been grateful that I didn't physically take it out on her.

"Alice, I'm so sorry. I really am." Her voice was weak and cracked in places. It was almost as if she was sobbing. She reached out her hand to touch my arm, but I flinched away from her. I didn't want to feel her touch me. She pulled her hand away immediately, sensing that I didn't want her to be around me anymore. I just wanted her to leave.

"I know I keep saying this, but I'm sorry, Alice, I know that it doesn't mean much, but I am," she murmured. I could hear the sincerity in her voice, whether I believed that sincerity was another matter. She turned away from me then, and started walking towards the window. She was just about to jump, when I remember something that she had said earlier.

"Shadow, what did you mean when you said you're surprised Marcus doesn't know about Alexander, especially because of what he can do?" I asked, suddenly growing curious.

She looked at me for a long moment, not saying a word. I hoped for her own safety that she didn't brush it off and say it was nothing.

"I'm surprised you haven't worked it out yet, to be honest. Both Marcus and Casper have this… ability. They can read minds. Marcus' ability works when he looks directly into your eyes. Whenever eye contact is made, he can read whatever is on your mind at that time. Casper, on the other hand, has a more advanced ability. As long as he's in the same room as the person he's trying to read, he will be able to hear their thoughts as clearly as being spoken aloud."

I stood frozen to the spot as she explained. It was the last thing I ever expected her to tell me. For once, I was certain that what she was telling me was the whole truth. Why would she lie about something like this?

When I snapped out of my thought, I realised that Shadow had taken that time to leave the room. I knew, even though she'd told me about their ability, she had ran before I could ask her any further questions. I was certain that she wasn't supposed to inform me of this, but I was grateful because it was going to help me later, when I got my revenge.

I unnecessarily flopped myself down onto the chair and rested my head in my hands. It all made sense now. The strange looks I had been getting from Marcus, the way that Shadow had seemed strained to not look at him when I had gone to the coven house. Then finally, the way both of them seemed to be able to answer questions that I hadn't yet verbalised. How had I not seen this before? Why had I not put the pieces together?

I growled in agitation at my stupidity. Today really wasn't my day. One revelation was enough, but multiple revelations were just too much. Even for someone like me, I could still feel the strain of it all. I needed a release of some kind, and I knew exactly where to find it.

The Hale house, or more precisely Jasper's bedroom, was quickly becoming a refuge for me to escape to when I wanted to break away from the real world and all its traumas. Of course, tonight was no different.

* * *

**A/N****: So, she's drinking animal blood now. Shadow is actually Jane, and Marcus and Casper have abilities like Edward does. What a day it has been for Alice.**

**Marcus: Oh my God, Shadow, you told Alice my secret mindreading ability!**

**Casper: She told mine, as well. How dare she do that to me! Bitch. *glares***

**Shadow: *runs and hides***

**Alice: Mwah hah hah hah.**

**Paula: **_**Technically **_**I told her your secret...**

**Marcus/Casper: SHUT UP!**

**Paula: *runs and hides***

**Marcus: That goes for the rest of you as well. You all know my secret, too. Y'all better review or else I'm gonna be knocking on your door tonight.**

**You heard him, now run along and do as he says.**


	13. Chapter 12

**A/N****: Chapter 12 :)**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS Y'ALL! Here is my present to you.**

**I surprise myself at how long these chapters actually are, my usual standard (these days) are about 3000, but the majority of this chapter are all over 4000! Well...**

**We're getting to the good part people! Which coincidentally is also the middle of the story :) We are at chapter 12 now, and if all goes to schedule, there are only 24 chapters altogether. So yeah, we're at the half way marker :)**

**Warning warning we have vicious Alice in this chapter, which in my opinion, is the best kind of Alice :) She needs to be kick ass in this story.**

**Disclaimer****: I would put the words 'I am Stephenie Meyer' in the same sentence as 'forget Jasper, I want to marry Mike Newton and have **_**his**_** babies'.**

**Yes yes, I used lines from the Twilight film AGAIN. I should really be taking them from the book considering the film was pretty shite, but yeah, I took them.

* * *

**

**Chapter 12 – Sweet and Sour**

I was new to the whole hunting animals thing, so it took my longer to hunt than what it usually did. Before I would stick to small towns or reservations, maybe even cities but now I knew that I had to broaden my hunting grounds so to speak.

I knew as soon as I passed into Portland that there was one place that I had to go if I was planning on finding anything half decent to hunt. I had heard of the Macleay National Forest from some distant human memory and I knew that if there was a place to find wild animals that was the place.

_I hope there are no human hitch hikers out here_, I thought to myself, they really would be testing my resolve.

But of course the forest covered mainly rugged terrain meaning that if there _were_ humans out here they were just plain foolish. Although for me, the harsh uneven environment did nothing to falter me in my quest, I hopped from rock to rock waiting for my senses to pick up a scent.

I smelt the herd of deer before I heard them, the pounding of hooves were so loud compared to my silent footfalls; once again my prey had no consciousness of me what so ever, I was beginning to enjoy myself here.

The deer were small but the pack they were in was large, I decided to pick the one that was at the end. I silently dragged it with me back into the trees, the rest of the herd hadn't even sensed me.

Even after I had devoured my first prey I wanted more, it was as if I was hungry for more after each hunt. Maybe it was like salt water, drinking a glass of it only made you thirstier, _no I won't compare blood to something as disgusting as salty water_.

I drained two more deer before I finally felt as if I were truly satisfied, I felt kind of strange as I ran. It was as if all the excess blood I had just gained was making it feel as if something was sloshing around inside of me, _very strange_ _indeed_.

But I didn't care if I felt full, that was a good thing because that meant that I wouldn't be feeling thirsty, if I was full then that would mean I wouldn't want to take their lives. Not only would I feel like taking my own life for the sin, but also Jasper would undoubtedly hate me for the rest of eternity, and that I couldn't allow.

I was going to back to visit the Hale's again, not to see Jasper as such, although I hoped that I _would_ see him, it's just for this visit I was strictly going to be downstairs. I wasn't sure when I had decided that I was going to be going to see the Hale's again, but I knew that I had been mulling over it for the past three weeks.

Ever since the confrontation I had with Shadow, I had been craving the attention of a family, I hadn't seen any of the members of the coven since the last meeting with Shadow and neither did I wish to see them.

Although I wanted to get my revenge on both Marcus and Casper I knew that it wouldn't be truly possible unless I planned what I wanted to do properly. I knew that there was a great chance of losing my own life in the process and I knew that right now that was something I didn't want to happen.

I laughed to myself as I realised it was another one of those things that would go on the list of _things to do once Jasper is no more._ I didn't relish in the thoughts of Jasper not being alive, but I knew that it was for the best and it was the true course of his life, I wasn't about to change that.

* * *

I returned home to change first, before I left to visit the Hale household again; the last thing I wanted was for them to find a speck of something that looked like blood on my clothes. I had chosen to wear a pair of black skinny jeans with a vest with my favourite jacket over the top. I did hope they weren't intimidated by my designer clothes and shoes.

"Hah," I snorted._ Who was I kidding? _My clothes were the least intimidating thing about me.

I made it to the Hale house in record time, making sure that my hair and clothes don't look like I've just been standing on top of a moving train. After brushing myself down, and making sure that Jasper's watch was well hidden, I knocked on the door. I didn't want them noticing I was wearing it and then calling the police on me.

I waited by the door for any signs of movement, finally I heard someone approach the door and at first I wondered whether it could be Jasper. But as I heard the tell tale sounds of female shoes on the floor, I knew it was Esme. And as the door opens I saw, Esme standing in front of me.

"Alice, is that you?" she exclaimed, a smile forming on her face. I was relieved and elated that she had remembered my name, it had been over two months ago since the last time I'd seen her, and even then our meeting had been brief. A sudden rush of warmth in my cold body made a smile break out across my face.

"Esme, you remember," I cried, not hiding the joy from my voice.

She smiled, welcoming me into the house, I gladly stepped in, not as cautious as our last meeting.

"Of course I remember," she replied. "I wouldn't forget the face of my daughter's rescuer, it's such a nice surprise to see you, I didn't think we would meet again."

"Yeah I know, but I was just passing through and I thought, I know who lives around here and I thought I would pop in to see how you all are, are your kids here?" I added, trying to be as subtle as possible. I had tried listening out for them but the house seemed quiet apart from this room, I was a little disappointed but I tried not to show it.

"Oh no, I have an empty house, Rosie is staying over her friend, Bella's house and Jasper, well he's out still although he's a little late… I'm sure he's just lost track of time."

"Oh yeah, that happens right," I said, shrugging. I smiled and tried to look as if I wasn't freaking out, my mind was running over stupid possibilities of what could have happened to make him late. Falling down stairs and smashing through windows all came to mind in just one second.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't see her eyes scrutinising me, I didn't see the confusion on her face until it was too late.

"I didn't know they did contacts in that colour?" she mused, staring at my eyes curiously.

"I'm not wearing contacts," I answered, without thinking. My eyes widened as I realised what I had just said, I was so preoccupied with thinking about where Jasper could be, that she had caught me off guard. I had told her I wasn't wearing contacts, I knew my eyes must be a jet black colour and I had told her last time we met that I wore black contacts to help me see.

_She would know that I was lying to her._

"You mean that's your natural eye colour?" she asked, the surprise was evident in her voice. I gulped and didn't answer, I tried to measure her reaction before it came.

"It's so… beautiful," she sighed, taking me surprise completely. "I've never seen eyes that colour before."

_Beautiful? They are the eyes of a killer, Esme._

"What do you mean; you saw my eyes last time we met," I reminded her almost reluctantly.

"Your eyes were black the last time I saw you, and now they are like golden brown," she replied.

"What?" I all but shrieked, unable to keep the shock from my voice, nor could I keep the volume of my voice under control, it raised to a higher octave than usual_._

"Wait here,: she instructed before disappearing out of the room. I waited as she rummaged around in the other room._ Poor girl, _I thought to myself, she must be colour blind of something. Golden Brown?! What was she thinking?

She returned seconds later with a small hand mirror, I grasped it in my hand as she handed it to me. As I bring it up to my face, I can't control the shock that courses through my body, I have to restrain myself from smashing the mirror with my hand.

_What. Has. Happened. To. My. Eyes?_

They were now in fact, as Esme described them, a golden brown colour, never in my life had I seen eyes the shade that mine were now. I had only ever known either deep red or black irises, and now there was something new.

I didn't understand, not Marcus, Casper or Shadow had different colour eyes apart from red or black, none of them ever told me about eyes changing colours. I knew that it couldn't be anything to do with the age as they were all much older than what I was.

_So what was so different about me?_

And then I realised, my diet.

Could animal blood really have such an effect on me to change the colour of my eyes?

"Alice, are you alright?" she asked cautiously. I blinked then lowered the mirror to look at her, I was certain that my face must resemble one of confusion, so I smiled at her trying to make myself seem sane again.

"Yeah, sorry, they just seem lighter today that's all," I told her, still sounding as confused as she looked.

"Your eyes change colour?" she asked, her tone fascinated.

"Absurd, huh?" I replied, chuckling awkwardly.

We talked for over half and hour longer, she had offered me a drink and some food but I politely refused, I doubt she would like what was on the menu. I was quite happy where I was, I felt as if I was talking to my on mother, and as strange as it sounded, I found comfort in that.

It was only when she mentioned Jasper again that I started to worry, she had been constantly looking at the clock as we'd spoken, something I couldn't help but notice. It was almost 8pm when she finally mentioned him and I could see that she was worrying about his whereabouts, just as I was.

"I think I'm going to give Jasper a call, just to see where he's got to, he's not usually this late out on a winter evening," she said, reaching for her phone. "H had said he would be back by now."

"Actually Esme, I think I should get off now," I told her. "I have to be getting home now anyway and I don't want to keep you. Thanks for having me here again."

"Oh, of course, Alice, it was great seeing you again," she said, placing the phone back on the table. "I do hope that one day we will meet again."

"I do hope so," I replied, smiling as she reached over for a hug, I held her probably a little longer that what I should have done. But if she felt uncomfortable about it, she didn't show it.

We said our goodbyes at the door, as soon as the door was closed, I heard her walk into the other room and pick up the phone. I listened as she dialled his number then placed the phone to her ear, I waited patiently right up until his voicemail started.

That was when I started running.

I wasn't sure how I knew he was in danger, I could just sense it, it was as if danger just seemed to follow him around. The first time had been when we first met, then when he had been mugged, which had also been the second time I'd seen him. It was funny how whenever he was in danger, I just so happened to be there.

I didn't trust the way he didn't answer his phone, I just hoped that it was a misunderstand and I was just overreacting.

* * *

He was out with his friend.

I had found him walking down the street with a blond male who I guessed was the same age, they each had a bottle of some type of alcohol clutched in their hands. They were drunk.

I suddenly felt a rush of sympathy towards Esme, who was probably sitting at home worrying about the whereabouts of her son, who in fact out with his mate getting drunk.

I had a sudden urge to go over there and tell him that he should get home.

But I didn't of course, not only was I meant to be staying away from him in case he worked out who I was, I would also be seen as some kind of killjoy. Lets be honest, I was _meant _to be their age. And anyway, he would get home safely, I would make sure of that.

I was almost glad when their bottles ran empty, at least now they could sober up before he got home. I looked down at Jasper's watch, it was 9.17pm and I could tell that it was bitterly cold, even though the weather did not affect me.

I had taken to walking across the road from them taking small steps so that I wouldn't be in line with them. Neither of them knew I was there, so I remained hidden in the darkness until I heard Jasper's voice and it sounded like he was saying goodbye. His voice was slightly slurred.

"So long, Newton!" he cried. "We shall do this again someday."

"Indeed we shall, Mr Whitlock Hale, indeed we shall,"he friend replied, sounding more intoxicated than what Jasper did.

I giggled to myself as they hugged each other almost tripping over their own feet; I just hoped that before Jasper got home, that he would be sober enough to not make a fool out of himself in front of Esme.

I waited until his friend stumbled down the street that I assumed he lived down and followed a little closer to Jasper. I could see him fumbling in his pocket and watched as he pulled out his phone.

"Oh, _now _you check your phone," I muttered silently to myself.

It was silent as we both listened to the message Esme had left, I could hear the worry in her voice. Once again I contemplated picking Jasper up and carrying him back home, it would be so much quicker.

But my thoughts were interrupted as I heard two men walking from the gates of _Tillicum Park_ and onto the street, they were walking in the opposite direction to me and Jasper. They were on the same side of the road and I knew that I shouldn't stereotype, but there was something about them that I just didn't trust.

But I wasn't worried for my own safety, I could take them on without breaking a sweat, hell I could take on _one thousand_ of them and not break out in sweat. But I feared for Jasper, he was drunk which made him vulnerable.

I held my breath unnecessarily as they walked past him; I waited in the shadows of the buildings so that they wouldn't notice me if they walked past. I watched as Jasper hung his head and sped up his walk as they passed, at least he was aware of possible danger.

The two men were not talking but they kept glancing at each other and I knew something was up.

_Don't turn around, don't turn around _I kept chanting in my head. I gritted my teeth as the tallest male turned back to Jasper who was walking quickly in the other direction. He just wasn't quick enough.

The taller male nudged his friend and he too turned around to look at Jasper, it only took one word _'him' _and they were both following Jasper. I wasn't sure when Jasper realised that they had started following him but soon all three of them were running.

I growled softly to myself and ran after them but they were already far ahead of me and as soon as Jasper tripped they pulled him into the darkness. My teeth ground together as I ran at my real speed to catch them. I didn't care if someone saw me right now _no one _hurt Jasper and got away with it.

I rounded the corner where they had taken him and my fists clenched as I saw them punch him in the chest repeatedly. I didn't think as I charged at them knocking both of them backwards.

I pulled the terrified Jasper behind me as the tallest man came at me with a gun in his hands, I could hear Jasper's whimpers behind me and I acted without thinking. I charged at the man faster than what he could have seen and pushed him backwards.

He didn't have time to pull the trigger as my hand forced his head back against the wall crushing his skull beneath my palm.

"NO!" Jasper roared, fear radiating from his voice.

I turned just in time to see Jasper launch himself at the remaining male who had a gun pointed at me. Both men fell to the ground but the smaller male was still bigger and stronger than Jasper and soon had the upper hand in the struggle.

I knew the man had a gun, I knew that he would use it, and he did.

The scream that escaped my lips was a mixture between anger and devastation, it only lasted a second before I ran forward. I knew that the man had fired a shot, as he was still holding the gun in his hand. I screamed again as he used the gun to smack across the side of Jasper's face, forcing his whole body into the wall.

I heard his head knock against the wall and his body crumpled into a motionless heap, _this was becoming too much like déjà vu_. I could sense that the man had gotten up and was now scrambling as fast as he could away from the area, but I didn't care all I could think about was Jasper.

I could smell blood, it was a mixture of the first attackers with Jasper's. I knew which was which, one was sour the other was sweet. But I wasn't thirsty, or that was just what I told myself. I didn't care that his blood was coming from somewhere on his body, all I cared about was that Jasper was hurt and I had to help him.

I picked him up in my arms checking him over whilst constantly holding my breath, I exhale quickly as I realise that the blood isn't coming from his body – he didn't have a bullet wound. But it was coming from his head, somewhere I gathered was inflicted when his head hit the wall.

It had knocked him clean out, and he wasn't responding to his name, I had to get him checked over by someone who knew what they were doing.

I knew that the nearest hospital to where we were was the Forks Community Hospital, I wouldn't be able to properly run with him in case people saw me. Yet walking at a human place would mean it would take over twenty minutes. Then when I arrived there I would have to come up with a story as to what happened to him.

It was just too risky, I knew of one place that was closer.

* * *

The Volturi house was easier to find the second time, I could remember clearly which one it was as I ran. I didn't know what I was doing bringing Jasper anywhere near this place, in fact I didn't know what I would do if either Marcus or Casper found us.

This was starting to turn in a very wrong direction, they would be able to read my mind easily – he was all I could think about.

As I neared the street I decided that it was best if I left Jasper somewhere nearby so that if Marcus or Casper were there they wouldn't know about him. Now all I had to do was occupy my mind as I asked for Shadow.

I began reciting the Greek alphabet as I neared the house. _T__his is ridiculous, _I thought to myself. But I carried on as I got to the window and climbed in. I hoped that they wouldn't mind my intrusion; but they did it to me all the time and I knew immediately they wouldn't care.

"Shadow?" I called out quietly, I knew she'd hear me.

She appeared out of no where as soon as I called to her, she was startled to see me and I watched as her eyes flashed down to my hands and her nostrils flared. I hadn't wiped the blood from my hands yet.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice a hushed whisper.

"Where are Marcus and Casper?" I demanded, I wouldn't say a thing until I knew where those two were.

"They are out hunting they won't be back for another day," she informed me; I let out a sigh of relief before she continued. "Alice, what is going on, what happened to your hands?"

I looked down at my hands and back up at Shadow, even though Marcus and Casper were not here I still felt uneasy about leaving Jasper outside alone unprotected.

"Shadow, I don't have long to explain, it's Jasper he was attacked by two guys and they hit him I don't know but he's out cold and he's bleeding... I've got him outside… I just-" But she didn't let me continue.

"What? You have him outside?!" she shrieked incredulously. "Are you completely mad?! Alice if Marcus ever found out you brought another human here unconscious or not he'll go absolutely ballistic!"

"I know, Shadow but I didn't know what else to do," I told her, my tone more desperate than what it ever had been. "It's too risky to taking him to hospital."

"Damn it, Alice it's too risky bringing him here!" she cried, shaking her head before looking away as if she was thinking about something. I had known of course, that it was dangerous bringing him here, but I needed Shadow's help, I knew I had one last plea.

"Please Shadow, what if it was Alexander out there? What if it were Alec?" I told her, hitting her at her weakest points. "You know what Jasper means to me Shadow, please."

I knew it was a low blow bringing Alexander and Alec into this, but I was desperate and I knew that from the look in her eyes she would do anything for either of them. Including going behind Marcus's back.

"He can't stay long I will find out what's wrong with him and do the best I can with the resources I have… after that you are on your own with him," she told me, her voice stern but I could hear the promise in her voice.

"Thank you, Shadow," I told her, sincerity ringing in my voice.

I was already out the window as I sent my thanks, I returned seconds later with an unconscious Jasper in my arms. She gasped as she saw him and ran to turn the lights on as I laid him on the couch.

She looked over him with her careful hands brushing his hair aside, I could tell that she too was holding her breath. If she even inhaled once, I knew she wouldn't have the strength I had to restrain herself, and I would kill her if she tried anything.

"It looks like he's drawn only a little blood but the impact on his head was strong which is why he was knocked out cold… there's very…" But her voice trailed off as she looked into my eyes. Her deep black iris's were wide as they stared at me. It took me only a second to realise that she was noticing the colour of my eyes.

"Alice, what happened to your eyes?" she asked, her voice was shocked and confused.

"It's just a different diet Shadow it's nothing," I told her, not wanting to go into it now. "Please concentrate on Jasper so that I can get him out of here as soon as possible."

She looked confused at my vague _different diet _excuse, I knew that she was going to questioning me the next time we meet. Thankfully she left it and went back to examining Jasper.

"As I was saying, there's very little blood but it looks like there's going to be a swelling and bruising, he just needs to rest but he _can't_ do that here. Take him home Alice let him wake up, and don't mention anything about bringing him here."

I nodded before scooping him up in my arms, I took one last look at Shadow and she seemed to understand what I was trying to get across.

"I won't let Marcus find out Alice," she promised, and I knew she was telling the truth. "I've kept Alexander hidden from him for almost four years. I got ways of getting around his mind reading ability."

"But what about Casper?" I asked, it would be harder to bypass his ability.

"What makes you think he would do something to hurt you, Alice?" she told me, her comment confusing me. "You don't give him enough credit sometimes."

We shared one last glance before I exited the house, I didn't stop or turn back to look at the Volturi house as I ran to safety. I knew that I had to take him home but I also knew that he deserved an explanation before I disappeared.

My house was dark and scent free as I jumped in through the upstairs window, I went to the bed and laid him down making sure his head was resting on the pillow comfortably. I didn't think as I reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

I opened up a new blank SMS page and quickly typed a message for Esme:

'Hi mom, I'm staying round a friend's for a bit, sorry I missed your call. Should be back later tonight or in the morning. Jasper.'

I found Esme's number easily enough and pressed send before placing the phone on the desk beside him. At least I could rest my mind on that side of things, at least Esme would not be worrying now.

I sat back in the chair next to him watching his chest rise and fall as he breathed softly, just like every other night except this time I was waiting for him to wake up.

* * *

**A/N****: OHMYGODJASPERISINALICE'SBED.**

**Gahahah.**

**Anyway.. Shadow isn't so bad after all.. she helped Alice and Jasper... just you wait until... hang on! I can't be saying that... LOL.**

**Firstly, how awesome was Alice crushing that dudes skull?! I was like HELL YES. You kill the son of a bitch ;) And anyway, she was doing it to save Jasper, so that makes it okay, right? Good.**

**Please review, if you don't... *thinks of a good threat* if you don't, I'll send Aro to kill your family.**

***the whole world goes silence***

**Too harsh? You know I'm joking, but review anyway, it is Christmas afterall. Show alittle festive spirit and give me a review-present =)**

**And finally, Mike Newton is a gimp.**


	14. Chapter 13

**A/N****: Chapter 13 :)**

**I've written chapter 19, finished it last night, its the biggest chapter I've ever written, totalling over 6000 words. Big achievement for me.**

**One of my favourite chapters in the whole story, we get a lot of Jasper and Alice cuteness in this one. Well you get a lot more Jasper and Alice from here onwards. The first twelve chapters of this story was setting everything up, you learnt everything about Alice's background. But the last twelve chapters of this story are about Jasper and Alice's relationship and what happens to them :)**

**So... I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I do.**

**Disclaimer****: I love the book 'The Host', but guess what, that isn't my book either. Dammit Stephenie Meyer, do you have to own **_**EVERYTHING?

* * *

**_

**Chapter 13 – A New Moon**

His chest rose and sank rhythmically while I waited for him to awake, it was the only thing telling me that he was still alive and hadn't died from the head trauma he'd suffered. I had contemplated shaking him to get him awake, but I had ridden that thought every time it came into my mind.

But I knew I had to wait for him to awake, I had to wait for him to open his eyes and see me sitting next to him watching like some kind of perverted weirdo who liked watching others sleep. It was ironic how all the times that I had wanted him to wake up one time and see me there sitting next to him, and now that it was about to happen, I didn't want him to.

I had even mulled over the idea of carrying him back home and laying him in his bed in hope that he wouldn't remember what happened and that it was just a dream. But I knew that wouldn't happen, he would remember. He would always remember.

He would tell others what had happened, he would tell them that he was knocked out as a female crushed the skull of a man beneath her hand. He would be committed into a mental asylum, maybe if he was lucky he would have Doctor Cullen as his consultant.

And so I had left him there, covered him with the blanket so that he wouldn't get cold and pulled up a chair so that I was near to him. I pulled my feet up so that they were on the chair and wrapped my arms around my knees with my chin resting on top. And then I waited.

I remained like that for the next fifteen minutes until his breathing pattern changed, I felt my whole body tense as I knew that he was coming around. A small groan escaped his lips as he stretched his body and slowly opened his eyes.

I held my breath.

His eyes adjusted to the room blinking a few times before closing again, his hand reached up and he touched the bump that must now have formed on his head. He groaned again and his eyes reopened, I stiffened in the chair as his eyes turned and stopped on me.

His eyes widened as he took me in, I could see the shock on his face, I could sense that his mind was working in overdrive trying to work out what had happened.

"Where am I?" he croaked. It was my turn for my eyes to widen in shock, I had expected him to scream, call for help, run for the door, anything.

"This is my house, you're on my bed," I told him, my voice was cautious and unsure.

I watched him with cautious eyes, he sat up, making another groan escape his lips as his muscles stretched. He pulled his legs up onto the bed and folded them in front of him, resting his hands on his lap. He looked up at me, as our eyes met everything went silent.

"What happened? I mean I saw what you did… that man, your hand… your hand it moves so fast… I just I… I can't understand this," he said, his voice shaking and confused. I could tell that it was hard for him to talk, his eyes were constantly looking down at his hands, which were twitching in his lap. He had seen it all, my speed, my strength – what did I do now?

"I'm sorry, Jasper, it's not something you can understand, I don't really understand it all myself," I replied, not really knowing how I was going to say the next part without scaring him. "I just knew that he was a danger to you and I had to stop him."

I prepared myself for the running and screaming, I had just told him that I had killed a man because I was protecting him, just like the obsessed vampire stalker that I was.

"Hmm… funny that," he muttered as he looked down at his lap, as if he were embarrassed.

I looked at him, a stunned expression on my face. _F__unny?_

How hard was he hit on the head? Maybe he was brain damaged?

"That's the excuse I was going to use for charging at the other guy. Although I'm guessing now it would have been safer to let you deal with it as you seem like you can handle your own more than what anyone can and I... I'm going shut up now."

He laughed nervously and diverted his eyes awkwardly.

_He was trying to save me… oh my god_.

My brow furrowed as I thought about what that meant, when he had shouted 'no' could it really have been because the other man was about to shoot me?

"Alice, are you alright?" he asked, looking at me directly.

My mind screamed at me as he said my name, he knew I was Alice! He knew I was the one who saved his sister. He also knew I was the one from all the other incidents – some I'd rather forget. So, no I'm _not_ alright.

"No not really… I'm confused to be honest," I told him, my brow furrowing as I spoke. He chuckled slightly, then as it died, the smile remained in his face. Had I gone against the grain and actually fallen asleep? Was this just a dream?

"I thought I was the only one allowed to be confused?" he asked, a teasing tone to his voice. I stared at him, my eyes wider then the moon.

_He's joking at a time like THIS?_

"How? How are you so calm?" I demanded in a dazed tone. "Why aren't you running screaming kicking, trying to get out?"

"Would I be able to get out if I was doing that?" he asked, raising his left eye brow sceptically. He was right of course, he wouldn't be able to get out.

"Probably not, no," I admitted, mimicking his movements from earlier as I looked down at my lap feeling ashamed.

"Listen, Alice, I know you think I should be scared shitless, or running around like a headless chicken screaming to the high heavens. But I'm not – clearly. I feel-" he paused, as a blush formed on his cheeks "- I feel safe with you."

I laughed once, it was short and humourless.

"You shouldn't, this is one of the least safest places you could be right now," I told him, the bitterness in my tone directed inwardly.

"I'm not scared Alice, I was, but I'm not anymore," he replied. "I was scared in the clearing when I first saw you, I was scared when I was being mugged and I got my wallet and watch stolen – which I've noticed you are wearing – I was even scared when that friend of yours killed him."

_Oops, he had noticed the watch_.

I quickly unstrapped it from my wrist and held it out for him to take, I didn't want to give it back to him, as stupid as it sounded, but damn, I had an attachment to it. He just smiled at me shaking his head, he lifted his sleeve and showed me an identical one to the one I had in my hand. Of course he would buy another one.

"You can keep it, I don't need it anymore," he replied, smiling softly. I smiled contently as I strapped it back around my wrist, I was glad he said I could keep it; I wouldn't have wanted to steal it back again when he wasn't looking.

"He's not my friend by the way. I didn't want him to do what he did," I said. I wasn't sure why it was such an importance to tell Jasper that I wasn't in any way friends with Casper, it just slipped out, but thankfully he didn't mention anything of it.

We sat in silence after that, I could tell that he was thinking of something more to say, I couldn't help but notice how handsome he looked. Whoa! hang on!

I couldn't be thinking anything inappropriate.

"Alice," Jasper began, a curious tone to his voice. I looked up thankful for a distraction from my thoughts.

"Why did you save my sister?" he asked, I was about to answer, but he carried on before I could speak. "I mean not that I'm not real grateful or anything, it's just, how come you were there?"

Oh god, how was I going to get out of this one?

I wasn't.

"I was coming to see you," I admitted. "I heard the car coming and I saw Rosalie standing in the middle of the road, I didn't know it was her at the time I just acted on impulse."

"Did you know that I lived just down the road?" he asked. I looked right into his eyes before I answered, honesty pays.

"Yes, I'd been there before," I replied. Okay, so I wasn't about to tell him I sit watching him sleep almost every night.

"Hmm, I didn't think I would see you again you know, after the incident with the thief, I thought you would just be some distant memory. Imagine the shock when I found you downstairs talking to my mom and little sister."

"Were you scared?" I asked, cautious of his answer. He laughed again and raised his eyebrows in incredulity.

"Scared? Really?" he replied, as if it was a stupid question. "I found out you had just saved my little sister from near death, and then I watch as you talk to my mom as if she was your own. Trust me; I was the farthest thing from scared."

"You told me that my face seemed familiar to you," I told him, knowing full well that if I kept pushing I would hit a wall, and he'd run away terrified. I just couldn't seem to shut up.

"Yeah, and you told me you had one of those faces," he replied, letting me know that he knew I had been making excuses. "You do though, your face isn't easy to forget, nothing about you is."

If my heart had been beating it would have made a mad somersault in my chest at this moment. A deep blush formed on his cheeks and he laughed nervously and looked back down at his lap again. I noticed that it was something he did a lot when he was embarrassed.

"I want to ask you something, and I will totally understand if you don't want to answer it," he murmured, still looking down at his lap as he spoke. I didn't know what he was about to ask, it could be anything, but I knew I would answer it as best I could.

"Shoot," I told him, sitting forward in my chair.

"Okay, what you did with your hand, it's kinda impossible for someone of your…" He faltered, as if he didn't know what word to use. "...size… and well I just want to know how you can do that?"

"Hmm, I said before that I didn't know how to explain it myself," I told him, thinking about how I was going to explain this next part. "But I think I can show you, wait here."

I stood up, inwardly cursing myself at what I was about to do, I didn't know how he was going to react to what he saw next. Hell, he might even make a mad dash to the door, but I knew that I had to show him, I wasn't about to lie completely.

He waited in anticipation as I stood, I held out my hand in front of me signalling for him to stay put as I inhaled and used my vampire speed to get out of the house. I jumped from the window, sprinted to retrieve something from the ground, before jumping back through the window and sitting down in front of him.

I had been gone no more than four seconds.

His face was frozen as he stared at me, his mouth was slightly open and I could knew he wasn't breathing.

"Breathe, Jasper," I instructed and as if in response, he exhaled deeply. I heard him gulp slowly as he continued to stare at me. I waited patiently for him to compose himself, he had to see what I was about to do next.

"Wow… um I… wow… um how… how do you do that?" he asked, stuttering over his words. I raised an eye brow at him, his lips mouthed the word 'oh' as he realised what he had just asked.

"Yeah, sorry, you don't know how to explain," he said, nodding crap, because _that_ is not gonna get old.

I smiled nonetheless as I held out my hand and showed him the pebble that I had picked up off the ground, he eyed it cautiously as I rolled it between my fingers.

"You asked how someone like me could have so much strength. Well just less than eight years ago now, something happened and I don't really know what, but when I woke up I could suddenly run faster than anyone I've known and I could uproot a tree with one hand."

As I spoke I crushed the pebble between my thumb and forefinger until all that remained was a layer of greyish sand in my palm. I looked up at Jasper who I noticed was closer than what I first thought. We had both been subconsciously leaning closer.

His eyes were wide and fixed on my palm, after a full minute passed he exhaled and I realised that he had been holding his breath again.

"Okay, so that was just a little bit freaky," he replied breathlessly.

"Only a little bit?" I said, chuckling softly to myself. As he started to laugh, he lifted his head. I don't think he realised how close we were.

I heard his heart beat quicken, which reminded me of the last time we had spoken, as he stared into my eyes. I realised that he had the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen. His teeth nipped his lower lip and a thought came into my mind unintentionally.

I thought it was cute.

_Oh god._

I leaned away from him using the excuse of brushing my hand of the sand out of the window. As I looked out the window I noticed the night sky was clear, there was new moon out. _The start of something new,_ I thought to myself.

His heart rate returned to its normal pace before I turned back to him, he was sitting watching me, a strange expression on his face. When he noticed I had turned, a smile formed on his lips, and I decided, against my better judgement, that that too, was cute.

"It's late, you should be getting back to Esme," I told him, knowing the longer he stayed here, the harder would be for me to let him go. I quick flash of disappointment crossed over his face but then he remembered his mom and his expression changed to one of worry.

"Oh my god!" he gasped. "I bet she's just freaking out, she doesn't know where I am."

I grimaced and looked at the floor; I hadn't told him about texting his mom pretending to be him.

"What?" he asked, noticing my grimace immediately. Of course he would realise I was hiding something.

"I kinda borrowed your phone and sent her a message pretending to be you," I mumbled. "I'm sorry I should have told you earlier it's just-"

"Whoa, Alice, stop. It's okay, you've saved me from getting a trouncing from mom," he told me, a smile forming on his lips once again.

I was glad he didn't mind that I'd used his phone, I was also glad that he'd stopped me before I could explode with the verbal diarrhoea that was escaping my lips.

"Come on, let's get you home," I muttered reluctantly, I was certain he didn't miss that tone in my voice either.

We actually used the door for the first time in years, I didn't think he would have taken to leaping from the second story window all too well. He stepped out first into the dark path looking from side to side.

"Where's your car?" he asked, confused. I raced to his side startling him as he hadn't expected me there. _I really have to work on using my speed around him,_ I thought to myself.

I rolled my eyes at him before running a full circle around him in less than a second; he hadn't even managed to blink.

"I'm faster than any car around here, do you think I need one?" I told him, trying to hide the bragging tone in my voice, but failing. He laughed, which I soon find was infectious when a grin formed on my face.

"Not modest at all, are you?" he asked, teasing me once again. The grin turned into a giggle as I skipped off ahead of him in the direction of his home.

Since when did I skip? Forget that! Since when did I giggle?

Weird.

I heard him running to catch up with me which made me stop and turn to face him, I had to wait for him to catch up.

"Hey! No running off! Not everyone's as fast as you, you know," he said as he caught his breath, I hadn't realised I'd gone that far.

"I'm sorry," I told him sincerely, though there was still a small smile on my lips. He ducked his head with a slight smirk on his face.

"You are forgiven," he murmured, our eye contact being held for longer than what was necessary. After we both looked away, we walked side by side in silence, our strides matching each others. He was silent for a long time, I could tell that he was thinking about something.

"How long does it take to get back to my house?" he asked curiously. I deliberated for a moment, I only knew how long it took _me _to get to his house.

"Well usually it only takes me about two minutes to get there… but walking it could take twenty minutes," I told him, then smiled as a thought came into my mind. "I could carry you if you want to get there quicker."

He snorted softly. "Yeah I'd rather walk thanks, no offence but I'd rather keep my dignity than be carried by a girl who's almost half my size."

I opened my mouth to protest but his raised his hand, effectively halting me. "Ah ah! I don't care how strong you are, you ain't carrying me."

He turned to see my reaction as he walked, the laugh that escaped his lips was adorable when he saw the pout on my face.

"I'm so not half your size," I grumbled, though the corner of my mouth were turning upwards. He laughed again but didn't comment anything more. I guessed he knew not to press it and upset me. N_ot that he ever could, _I thought to myself.

Contrary to what I thought, it only took us about fifteen minutes to get back to his house, I hadn't noticed before just how long his legs actually were. He had quite a fast stride, of course it wasn't hard for me to keep up.

"Home sweet home," he muttered almost reluctantly. I tried to ignore the disappointment in his voice, but I couldn't, not when I was feeling the same disappointment. I followed him as he walked towards the front gate. I didn't really know what was going to happen next.

He unlatched the gate but faltered as he turned to look at me again, I could see the curiosity burning in his green eyes.

"I was wondering," he began as he started to rub the back of his neck awkwardly. "What if I ever wanted to… you know, see you again… how I would find you."

I smiled, inwardly thrilled that he had suggested that he wanted to see me again, I knew the smile hadn't gone unnoticed when he smiled back at me.

"I'll be there, Jasper, even when you don't realise," I told him, doubting he would truly understand the hidden message.

"But I want to realise," he murmured, again we seemed to be inching towards each other without realising. The silence that followed was awkward and filled with tension; he turned away from me, the blush on his face was evident as he made for the front door.

"Jasper," I said, calling out to him, I didn't want him to go yet, I didn't want our meeting to end this way. He turned to me awkwardly, the discomfort clear on his features.

"Promise me you won't go out on your own at nights," I told him, the tone of my voice was solemn for the first time since he'd woken up earlier. The confusion on his face was evident, I knew that he was about to ask why, but how the hell did I answer him? How did I explain to about vampires without actually mentioning them?

"Let's just say that thieves aren't the most dangerous things that could find you when you're on your own," I told him, knowing, when I saw the the tendril of fear spread across his face, that I'd finally gotten through to him about the danger around him. I really wasn't pleased that I'd managed it, I hated to see him scared.

He bit his lower lip again and his brow furrowed as if he were trying to thinking about something intensely. I hoped that he wasn't thinking about _what_ the more dangerous things could be.

"Well… you could be there when it's dark, just so that nothing bad finds me," he mumbled, looking down at the ground again, I could tell that that had been hard for him to formulate into a sentence. I sighed in relief when I realised that had been what he was thinking about just now.

"I'd like that," I informed him, smiling to myself at the prospect. The rewarding smile I got from him was breathtaking, I couldn't help but smile wider in response. Any passers by would have thought we were complete loons smiling at each other in silence.

"You should go inside, Esme might be waiting up for you," I lied, I could hear both Esme's and Rosalie's rhythmic breathing that evidence in the fact that they were both sound asleep.

"Yeah, I guess so," he agreed, sounding disappointed. "Thanks for saving me... again."

"It was nothing, I'll see you soon, Jasper," I promised, smiling softly at him. _Sooner than you think_, I thought to myself.

He smiled again and I could tell, from the acceleration of his heart, that he liked the sound of that. I watched, as he stepped into the house, turning back as he closed the door, his eyes only leaving mine when the door was fully closed.

I knew that he had run to the window, I had seen him peek through the curtain as I turned away. I ran towards the metal railing and exerted enough pressure on the pavement so that I could fly over the top of the railings easily.

Well if Jasper's watching, why not?

I smiled widely as I heard a muffled _show off,_ I would bet on all my existence that he had rolled his eyes. I laughed freely as I sprinted across the park away from him.

I sat down on the same bench I had been on at our last meeting, yet this time I didn't feel any desperation, I felt strangely happy and slightly hyper.

But the feelings didn't feel new, it was as if I was reverting back to my childhood, I knew I was probably more like Mary Alice Brandon tonight than what I had been in the past eight years. It seemed like such a long time ago now compared to what I was like now.

Frozen forever at seventeen.

I sighed and sat back on the bench, just waiting for Jasper to fall asleep so that I could be with him again. I had said I would be seeing him soon, but what he didn't know, was just how soon I actually meant.

* * *

**A/N****: Aw! I love it =) Let me know what you liked about the chapter in the review. I have no threats to make here.**


	15. Chapter 14

**A/N****: Chapter 14 :)**

**Happy New Year 2010!**

**I love this chapter. It makes me want to go 'Aw, they are so cute' every time I read it =)**

**I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!**

**Disclaimer****: Stephenie Meyer is above Disclaimers. I'm not- obviously.

* * *

**

**Chapter 14 – You Won't Be Here Forever**

I had contemplated being in his room when he woke up but just in case he thought the previous night was a dream. But I thought it was best to not be there, as well as the fact that I hadn't actually told him that I had been in his room at night. I easily convinced myself to stay away. He might have been cool about it all last night, but I did not want him totally weirded out.

So I had left before the sun rose and ran back to my house, his scent still lingered there, what was worse, was that I could smell him on my bed. Shamefully, I'd sat for most the morning face down on my bed inhaling his sweet scent.

I didn't want to make my stalker tendencies any stronger but I really didn't want to _ever _wash this bed cover again. But like most things, his scent faded and I got up from the bed slightly miffed that it had faded so quickly.

I went for a change of clothes first, the sun was out today and I stood at my window glaring out at the sun, willing it to go under a cloud so that I could leave. Of course it never did, the sun shone for most of the day and I was damn well bored.

So it resulted in me thinking about my last encounter with Jasper, I couldn't help at smile about how well it actually went. He wasn't scared of me, or if he was, he had a very good way of hiding it.

He was even joking about things that really weren't in _any_ situation funny, so surely that was a good thing. That is of course, unless he actually was concuss and all that he said yesterday was a load of unreasonable crap. Just my luck if that was the case.

I had contemplated going to find Shadow, to see if there was any danger but I knew that if there were, firstly, they would have found me already. And secondly I didn't want to seem suspicious and I certainly didn't want to cause them any alarm to have them sniffing around.

And so I settled on going hunting again, it seemed as if I was hunting a lot more than what I usually did before I met Jasper. I just hoped that the animals around Forks weren't close to extinction, I would hate to be the reason for certain animals to become extinct because I was _thirsty_.

I settled on an elk, I had found a small herd of them just north of where I was. So I pursued them until I was close enough to pounce. I landed on the back of the nearest elk, pushing its head down with it's antlers before I sank my teeth into the flesh of its neck.

The warm blood flowed down into my body quickly as I drained the animal; I was really getting to like the taste of animal blood. It was different to what human blood tasted like and whenever I had finished feeding I never felt the rush of shame like I used to.

I looked down at the watch on my wrist and the display showed that it was 4.30pm, it would be twilight soon and then I would be able to go see Jasper. Although I wasn't sure whether _see_ actually meant him seeing me too.

I looked down at my top, there was a speck of blood on there and I was sure that I smelt like a wild animal, now that I didn't want. So I ran back towards my house, jumping in through the window and throwing the top onto the wash pile.

I found a change of clothes and quickly washed my face making sure that there wasn't any blood still visible, that would be mightily awkward.

I looked down at my watch wondering how much time had passed and wondered whether it would be safe for me to go out yet. But as I looked down at the clock hands, it read the same time as earlier, 4.30pm.

I frowned as I brought the watch up to my ear, it wasn't as if I wouldn't be able to hear it anyway but _nothing_ was moving inside. My watch – correction, Jaspers watch, was broken, who knew what time it actually was.

I looked out the window and saw that the sun had thankfully disappeared behind some big grey cloud. I pondered whether I would risk leaving the house and going out into public. After less than a minute, I thought what the heck! And I jumped from the window.

I ran in the direction of Forks and only stopped when I got to the more civilised area of the town. It was a small place, but I knew that one of those three thousand one hundred and twenty people would see me if I carried on running, so I set off down the path towards Willow Avenue.

As I rounded the corner across from the park I heard the same sound of two girls playing in the street. As I came into view sure enough Rosalie and her friend Bella were playing in the street laughing happily as they skipped.

I listened quickly for any signs of incoming cars but of course no girl could be that unlucky to be in a near car accident twice. As I made my way down the road towards them, Bella was the first that spotted me as she waved and nudged Rosalie.

I wasn't expecting either of them to remember me, but as Rosalie looked up and saw me, she shouted out my name and started running towards me. I noticed the loose gravel on the ground before her feet connected with them, but of course, it was too late.

Her feet skidded as she ran and as she lost her balance her body flew forward, I only had a second to react. I wasn't _that_ far away from her but I wasn't close enough to catch her without running just a little bit first.

She stumbled into my arms as I caught her; I had gotten to her before any part of the touched the pavement. We were both lucky she didn't get a graze on her knees, if she had, I don't know how I would have faired when being in contact with her blood. All I knew was that that outcome wouldn't have been pretty.

"Hey kiddo, you need to watch where you're going," I told her, a soft smile on my face. "You alright?"

She smiled up at me as she nodded, I placed her back on her feet just as Bella skipped up to meet her. I rolled my eyes and caught her too before she fell to the ground. I placed her next to Rosalie before kicking the gravel from the path to save further accidents.

"Oh Bella, you're so clumsy!" Rosalie giggled. I couldn't help the smile from forming on my face as I heard someone approaching, I knew, without having to look, that it was Jasper.

"Well aren't you girls gonna say thank you to this lovely lady?" he said, I could hear the smile in his voice.

In unison they both said thank you as I turned to face Jasper, he smiled at me, a smile I couldn't help but return. His honey blond wavy hair was slightly dishevelled and his red, white and orange chequered hoody fitted snug against his body.

Our reverie was broken when I heard the two girls giggling behind us. "I think Jasper likes the lovely lady!" Rosalie exclaimed, making my insides flip in thrill and exhilaration.

The faint blush on his cheeks formed as he glared at his little sister before looking back up at me. He looked sheepish and embarrassed with an apologetic look in his eyes before returning his gaze back to the two giggling girls behind me.

"Alright you two get inside, mom's just served dinner," he informed them, shaking his head at them as they passed him. Slowly the blush drained from his cheeks as he kicked the gravel around his feet.

"I'm sorry about those two... they sometimes... just..." But his voice trailed away, another blush forming on his cheeks.

"It's alright, you don't need to explain anything to me. I liked that they said it," I replied, the last part was just a whisper, a whisper I knew he wouldn't have heard.

He smiled at me, and I felt a flutter in my stomach as I smiled back, even when I knew that it was wrong getting this close to him, I couldn't help but enjoy it.

"Um listen, mom cooks like way more than what is necessary, why don't you come inside?" he asked, his heart beating rapidly as he waited for my answer.

"Sorry, I've already had my dinner," I replied, technically, I _wasn't _lying, I _had _had my dinner. I looked at him apologetically as I watched his face drop into a dejected expression. It was then that I realised just what my comment had sounded like, it was as if I were making excuses.

"But I could still come in though, you know, just to hang out or something?" I proposed, smiling when I saw his own smile reappear on his face. I could tell that he liked the idea of hanging out just as much as what I did, I could hear his heart rate accelerating.

"Great!" he exclaimed. "I'm sure mom won't mind you being here."

I knew already that Esme wouldn't mind me coming in, I had heard Rosalie telling her that I was outside with Jasper. She had sounded excited when she said that she hoped he invited me in. I knew that if he hadn't, I would have asked to come in anyway.

He gestured for me to follow him and together we walked side by side back towards the house. As we stepped in through the threshold, Esme came out to greet us, she smiled warmly as she hugged me and told me to leave my jacket on the rack and join them.

I gave her the same reason that I had to Jasper and excused myself from dinner, but I sat at the family table as they all ate a bowl of what looked like Spaghetti Bolognese. I couldn't help but notice how Jasper liked the have an extra helping of cheese on top of his spaghetti, just how I used to.

I watched as Bella and Rosalie carefully swirled their pasta round their forks while Jasper ate like a true male. He managed to get some round his face and even on his cheek, I giggled a few times as his pasta slipped from the fork. Esme excused him many times for his manners but I didn't even notice.

It was the first time I could properly remember being round a family table like this, I felt at home here as if they were my family, the smile never once left my face.

Finally as the dishes were cleared away by Esme, and the two girls ran off upstairs to play, Jasper and I were left alone in the dining room. It was silent at first as neither of us spoke, but it was a comfortable silence, until Jasper suddenly started to laugh nervously and I eyed him cautiously.

"You know, I was actually thinking that yesterday was a dream, all day I was trying to convince myself that it wasn't," he said as he played with the table cloth. "It just, didn't seem... real. And yet here you are, back again so soon. Just like you said you would."

"Yes, well my watch broke you see... well actually your watch broke and being that it was yours I was thinking maybe you had a spare battery?" I told him, pulling my sleeve back so that he could see it.

"Oh so you came for the battery and nothing else?" he said, his tone teasing. "Well sorry, Alice, I have no spare batteries."

He raised his eyebrow as he spoke, he was questioning my real reason why I came back. We both knew that it wasn't because I wanted a battery. I had completely forgotten about it up until about a minute ago.

"Busted," I said, raising my hands in defeat. "Okay, so maybe it was the fact that I didn't think I could actually stay away anymore."

I could have sworn his heart beat stopped for a second, but then it stuttered and started beating rapidly and suddenly the biggest smile I'd ever seen formed on his face. I had made him happy and so in return, I was happy.

Suddenly without warning he stood up, before telling me to wait there as he strode off into the kitchen to talk to Esme. Of course, I heard everything he'd said but when he returned I made it out that I hadn't been listening.

"Come on," he said, gesturing with his hand to follow me. I got up without stopping to think about what I was doing, I followed him outside until we reached his lovely green Volkswagen beetle. We both got in and finally as he started the car and pulled away from the house, the curiosity kicked in.

"Where are we going?" I asked as I watched him drive, I was finding it hard to take my eyes off him.

"We are going to get your watch fixed," he replied. A smile formed on my face, firstly because he said _your _watch, secondly because I knew I wouldn't have to part with it. But mainly, because it was something normal, it was a human thing to do.

But then it dawned on me that I wouldn't be able to pay for it, I didn't have any money.

"Jasper, I don't have any money on me, I won't be able to pay for it," I told him, the disappointment in my voice was evident.

"I've got money, I'll pay for it," he replied, but I could allow him to pay for something he wouldn't use.

"What? No! I can't let you pay for this, its not your fau-" But he didn't allow me to finish.

"Hey! It's my watch, and I said I'm paying for it, it will be my present to you," he said, a smirk forming on his face. "And considering you stole it from me, I'd say I'm rather generous."

But when he laughed, I knew he was joking. I didn't bother to argue, for I knew he had a point, it was his watch after all. And anyway, even if I did win the argument, I still wouldn't have any money to pay for it. That source had dried up ages ago.

We drove into the nearest town of Port Angeles, it wouldn't have taken me long to run there but I would have thought that it would have taken a little longer to drive. Yet I found that we got there pretty quickly, I soon realised that Jasper liked to drive fast.

As we walked through the town we soon came across a watch repair shop that was just down Lincoln Street, it was only verging on early evening and the shop wasn't closing until seven. On consulting Jasper's watch it was only 5.49 so we still had quite a while to go till closing.

The man behind the counter eyed us as we approached him, I took the watch out and handed it to him. He raised his eyebrow at me as he took it, I didn't understand that look at first, not until he explained.

"This must be your boyfriends watch here?" he said, his voice was exceptionally manly. "I can't see you wearing something like this."

I could hear Jasper's intake of breath at his assumption and then the race of his heart as he understand what he meant, I was about to answer him when Jasper beat me to it.

"Yeah, it's my watch," he told him, a soft smile on his face as he finished. If it were possibly, my heart would have been beating rapidly.

"Looks like the battery is flat, we can replace that now if you like," he replied, before turning away with the watch and taking it into the workshop out back. As soon as he disappeared I turned to Jasper.

"So you're my boyfriend now then?" I asked, my tone teasing.

"Hey, he was the one that said it," he replied in defence.

"But you didn't bother to correct him," I asked, suddenly wanting to hear him say that he didn't _want _to correct him.

"Well I didn't hear you correcting him either," he continued, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. I would bet anything that he was thinking the same thing that I had been.

I smiled at his comment, it was true enough, but I didn't have time to reply as the guy came back with the watch. He handed it back to us, as well as giving us a spare battery and charged Jasper the $7.30. When he handed the money over we both thanked him and left the store together, it was still only just after six, we had ages to go before it got really dark. So we decided to walk down to the water front, and when Jasper suggested going for a walk by the sea, I jumped at the idea.

We walked down towards the sand, both taking our shoes and socks off as we walked down to the water. The sun was setting behind a cloud and the sky was lit up with oranges and reds, it was beautiful, but I couldn't say I was truly paying attention.

He was walking next to me in complete silence, I could tell as we walked that he kept glancing sideways at me. I would notice this every time because his heart rate would rise just a little bit. S_ometimes I wish my heart still beat, _I thought to myself.

I wanted to have human reactions to Jasper, I wanted my heart to race every time I looked at him. I wanted to feel my palms sweat as I walked next to him, just wishing for him to take my hand.

But I couldn't, I couldn't have human reactions because I wasn't human anymore, and I had to keep reminding myself of that, no matter how much I wanted to forget it.

It was strange how Jasper seemed to know what I was feeling as he stopped and turned to face me.

"What's the matter?" he asked, I could hear the concern in his voice. All I did was sigh and look at the ground, just wishing that I could tell him.

"It's nothing," I murmured, not hiding the depressed tone in my voice. He raised his eyebrow and I looked at him apologetically.

"I know something is wrong, Alice, I can just feel it," he told me, coming to stand in front of me so that I could see his face. "Tell me, please? Maybe I could help?"

I sighed, looking down at the ground once again. "I'm different, Jasper, you know that," I told him, my voice barely a whisper, but I knew that it was loud enough for him to hear.

"Hey, I don't care how different you are, it doesn't change anything," he replied, looking deep into my eyes. "It doesn't change how I feel about you."

I knew, that if I could, I would have been crying. "But I'm never going to fit in, I'm always going to be alone, Jasper."

"You don't have to be alone, Alice. I'm here," he told me, the sincerity in his voice making me feel worse because he didn't know.

"You won't be here forever," I told him, verbalising my biggest fear – losing him. My chest tightened as my face crumpled as if I were in pain. I knew I had to get myself under control, I couldn't have my vampire breakdown in front of him.

"But I want to be," he murmured, his voice so soft, so full of truth, and yet so full of pain at the thought of me not being there. I looked deep into his eyes, seeing the sadness run through them and I knew that he'd spend forever with me if he could.

"I've seen what my life is without you, Alice, and it's not enough," he murmured, the pain from earlier seemed to increase until every word was ringing with it. "It will never be enough without you."

I stared at him, my chest becoming unbearably tight as I watched him, I could feel it, the strain behind my eyes, I _wanted _to cry, it _felt _like I was about to cry, yet there was nothing. His words kept revolving in my mind, they sounded so true, so familiar to my own that I knew, without a doubt, that we wanted the same thing.

We wanted to be with each other forever, and we both knew, that without each other, we wouldn't be complete. We were like two halves of a whole, we completed each other, we wouldn't function correctly without being together. I knew that now.

I heard his heart beat increase in his chest as slight gust of wind blew a strand of hair into my eye. He brought his hand up slowly, I knew instantly what he was about to do.

Suddenly I was ten metres away staring at him with clenched teeth, I had moved so quickly that his hand was still moving to where my face would have been. He couldn't touch me, he couldn't feel my skin, my _cold_ skin.

I could see in his expression that he was embarrassed and confused, I felt immediately guilty for my actions. If only he knew why.

"I'm sorry, Jasper. I just... I can't... we can't..." I stopped as I closed my eyes. "I wish things were different."

I wished I wasn't a vampire.

"I wish things were different, too," he murmured, the heartbreaking tone of his voice felt like a stab to the chest. I never wanted to hurt him, not physically , mentally or emotionally. And yet here I was, doing what I didn't want to do.

In the blink of an eye I was back in front of him, I hated the distance that was between us, I never wanted to part from him. Ever.

"I want to try something, hold still, okay?" I told him. He nodded slowly, never letting his eyes leave mine as I moved closer to him. It was something so simple, yet it put him in such grave danger all at the same time.

I closed to gap between us and slowly my arms wrapped around his slender frame. I rested my head against his chest, feeling his heart beat beneath my ear. He wrapped his arms slowly around my back, and even though I was aware of the closeness of my skin to his, I didn't retreat.

I closed my eyes and slowly inhaled, his scent burned down my throat and venom pooled in my mouth, but as I exhaled and held onto him tighter, I knew that I'd never be able to take his life. Not now, not ever.

We stood together in silence as I listened to the sound of his heart beating, small flashes of memories from my past flickered across my eyes as I remembered another boy, another heart. Jacob Black's heart to be more precise. But as I opened my eyes once more and looked up at Jasper, I knew there was no where else I'd rather be.

"Thank you" was all I said as I pulled away from him. I don't think he would ever understand just how important that moment had truly been to me. He ducked his head in response, a smile slowly spreading across his face.

"Come on, let's go home," he murmured. And although I knew his home wasn't my home, deep down in my heart, I knew that being with Jasper was the closest thing to home I would ever experience again.

We walked back towards his car in silence, we both knew that words were not needed in this moment. It was perfect just as it was. I wasn't sure of his feelings towards me, but in that moment, I knew I was in love with him.

* * *

**A/N****: Yay! She's finally admitted that she loves Jasper! About time =)**

**If you're going to review, which 98% of you who are reading this most probably won't [sigh], please tell me what you loved about this chapter. I really want to know!**

**Anyways. Hope y'all have a lovely New Years.**


	16. Chapter 15

**A/N****: Chapter 15!**

**I have to post this one earlier then expected as there is a possibility I may not be around much today (as it has only just turned into Monday for me). So here it is...**

**A lot happens in this chapter. **_**A lot. **_**I hope you like it, 'cause I freaking love it.**

**Disclaimer****: If I were Stephenie Meyer, Twilight would have been **_**completely **_**different.**

**I believe there is a line in this chapter, possibly two that I borrowed from the Twilight books, they belong to Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

**

**Chapter 15 – Our Safe Haven**

It was a strange feeling, being in love. I couldn't remember whether I'd ever experienced such an emotion when I was human, but now, being a vampire, the feelings seemed to multiply, to strengthen with each passing moment.

My vampire mind allowed me to go back, to relive each moment with such clarity that it was as if it had just happened. There was the little things, such as his smile whenever I'd said something he'd liked, or his laugh whenever something amused him. Even the way he blushed and looked down at the ground whenever he was embarrassed.

It was hardest when we were apart, when the sun shone high in the sky, banishing me to my prison. I hated being away from him, knowing that he was on his own, unprotected. My only consolation had been that if I couldn't go to him because of the sun, then neither could they.

I hadn't seen nor heard from any of the members of the coven, it was surprising, given that there had been a time when I would of seen them, even if I didn't want to, at least once a week. But now, it was as if they were leaving me alone.

And that scared me.

My anger towards Marcus and Casper hadn't waned, it remained as a constant anger in the back of my mind. The urgency of my revenge had dissipated, my priorities lying solely with Jasper, but I knew that it would happen. And one day, revenge would be served.

But until that day, I would continue to do what I always did. Hunt. Wait. Be with Jasper. Hunt. Wait. Be with Jasper. Much like before, but there was one thing that made the waiting bearable, and that was Jasper. He made all the difference.

We'd seen each other multiple times since that day at the beach. More than once he'd tried to touch my skin and more than once I had to pull away. And it was killing me to know that each time I did, I was causing him pain. But I knew, that I would rather feel the self loathing I had towards myself for causing him pain than having to see the repulsion Jasper would be feeling when he found out what my skin felt like.

It was like a punch in the stomach every time I had to pull away from him, because there wasn't anything I wanted more than to be able to hold his hand. All I could do was imagine it, and I was doing that now, my eyes were closed, seeing him sitting next next to me. His hand was in mine, his fingers entwined with my own in an unbinding bond.

_I smile at him, like I always do, he smiles back, his eyes shining with an unfathomable amount of love. And just like always, we lean forward, his fingers brushing along my cheek with unnecessary gentleness. _

"_I love you," he says, his voice so soft and melodic._

_His lips prevent me from saying anything in response. As always, his lips are soft and full, warm and tender. Perfect. And as normal, every time he pulls away his skin is snow white and marble like, his eyes as black as the night._

My eyes opened slowly as I looked around the room, it was as I left it, as it always was whenever I came back from my imagination. Every time I thought about it, Jasper would take my hand, stroke my cheek, kiss me and then as he pulled away, he would always be a vampire.

_I need a distraction, _I thought to myself as I stood up, I always needed a distraction after I experienced the same vision. And so I started running to nowhere in particular, I just ran.

I don't know when it was I became aware of her, but it was when I ran into the wind that I could smell her unmistakable scent. Shadow was near, and she was alone. I followed the scent, walking a straight line, her scent getting stronger by the second until finally I saw her.

"What are you doing here, Alice?" she asked as soon as I came into sight. She was facing away from me, sitting on a stone wall looking at a row of houses that were a hundreds of metres away. From where Shadow was sitting, no one would see her unless they walked in her direction.

"I was going to ask you the same thing," I replied, coming to stand beside her.

"That's his house," she murmured, still not taking her eyes from the houses.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Alexander," she sighed. "He lives over there."

I followed her gaze and saw the small brick red house she was staring at. I listened in and heard him, he was in there, and she just remained over here. She was stronger than what I ever would be.

"You never did tell me about your eyes," she said, her monotonous tone was getting to me, it was grating at me. "Saying you have a different diet doesn't really cover it."

I sighed, sitting down on the wall next to her. "Animal blood," I whispered. "It changes the colour of my eyes."

She laughed, a cold heartless sound. "You keep fighting it don't you, trying to change who you are. But you are what you are, Alice. You're a vampire, it doesn't matter what blood you drink, you'll still be a vampire."

I was speechless, my mouth was open in shock, where did this attitude come from?

"I know why you're doing it, it's because of him, you think that because you don't kill humans anymore that you won't kill him." She turned to me then, her face as blank as her voice. "He's going to die you know, or be turned into one of us, he's not going to be human for long."

"I would never do that to him," I told her, my voice was clipped and defensive. What was wrong with her?

"Maybe not intentionally, but what happens the next time you're around Marcus? Or whenever you need Casper for another round of fuck buddies? You really think you will be able to keep Jasper off your mind when he is all you can think about?"

"What is wrong with you, Shadow? What has happened?" I demanded, not understanding where this sudden change in character came from. She turned to look at me, her expression changed, her brow creasing as a shroud of pain clouded her face.

"My brother was killed," she told me, her voice full of bitterness.

I gasped. "Marcus didn't..."

She shook her head and I exhaled silently. "No, he was... attacked. By a human. The real monsters around here," she growled, her teeth clenching together.

"I'm so sorry, Shadow," I murmured, resting my hand on her shoulder, but when she shook it off I allowed it to fall to my side.

"Why? I'm free now, Marcus doesn't hold anything on me anymore, I could finally be with Alexander, but then I realised it was pointless."

I looked at her in confusion, what was stopping her?

"She'll be here in a minute, just wait," she said, her voice was almost maniacal, but I could still hear the pain in her voice. And then, as if on queue, a car pulled up on the driveway of the red brick house. A female stepped out, her flame red hair blew softly in the breeze, making it look like fire. The door opened as a male stepped out, he was tall and handsome, his thick black hair framed his face perfectly. I knew it was Alexander without even having to ask.

And then I saw what it was that added to her overwhelming anger. Alexander kissed her. I looked back at Shadow, unable to look at them any longer. I could remember what it had been like when I had heard Jasper with another girl, but I knew that was nothing to compared to the pain I knew Shadow was feeling.

"I'm sorry, Shadow," I told her, not knowing what else I could say.

"Oh, you're sorry, are you? Really?" she shrieked, if she wasn't careful, someone would hear her. "It's alright for you, you're human pet isn't in a relationship, is he?" she growled, I could hear the anger growing with each word she spoke.

"Shadow, you need to calm down," I commanded, my voice stern yet under control.

"Why?" she demanded. "Why should I? What good will it do me?"

"What good will it do being angry?" I replied, raising my eyebrow at her.

She moved quicker than I could have anticipated, her hand was around my throat, squeezing tightly against my rock hard skin.

"If I'm _angry _I can _fight,_" she spat, her voice was dark and ice cold as she emphasised certain words. "What good will it do if I am _weak _and _pathetic_, Marcus will take advantage of that, just like he did when I murdered my own father."

I grasped her wrist and pulled it away from my throat, I could tell she was using all her strength to keep it there, but I was still stronger.

"Don't make me hurt you," I growled, gritting my teeth in attempt to stop myself from tearing her wrist from her arm. Just because I was talking to her, it didn't mean I had forgiven her for lying to me about my mother. If she really pushed my buttons, she wouldn't last very long at all.

She yanked her hand from my grasp and sneered at me. "Why don't you run back to your little pet?"

I snarled as my hand shot out and slammed into her chest forcing her backwards into a tree, I knew she wouldn't be hurt, but a sadistic part of me wished that she was.

"You better stay away from me, Shadow, because next time I _will _harm you," I seethed, my voice was lethal and deadly.

I turned away from her, sprinting in a direction I wasn't sure which, I just had to get away from her. I had tried to be kind to her, to be a _friend _and she'd acted like that. Well fuck her, she had well and truly lost it now.

I knew I was too angry to go see Jasper, I didn't want him to see me like this. I knew that I needed to hunt, and so I slowed down to a snail pace and gave myself into the hunt. Straight away the scent hit me like a ton of bricks, the sweet, cloying scent of human blood.

My eyes opened, the animalistic thirst burning within them, there was a small section of my mind that knew, as I took a step forward, that this was wrong, that I should be moving away instead of closer. But I couldn't stop my feet from moving forward, the thirst was drawing me in, the male's sweet scent was pulling me towards him.

When the man came into view the venom pooled in my mouth, the small part of my mind that was telling me this was wrong, disappeared as I saw the man sitting on a log just ahead of me. He had short black hair, his skin was pale with tiny freckles dusting his cheeks. He slid his glasses back up his nose as he started to clean his hand, a first aid kit was sitting next to him, he must have fallen over and cut his hand. I could smell his blood. It was all I could think about.

I was by his side in the next second, his head shot up looking at me, terror filling his eyes as he stared at me. I could smell the blood on his hand as it slowly oozed out of the cut on his palm. I grabbed at his arm, bringing it to my face. I growled as the scent of his blood wrapped around me, covering me into its forbidden temptation.

"W-what are you doing?" he gasped, fear radiating out of his voice. He was young, probably nineteen or twenty, though his voice told me he was younger.

I straddled his lap, curling my fingers into his hair and I forced his head to the side so that I had a clear view of his neck. His heart beat erratically in his chest, the sound of it echoing in my ears loudly.

I leant forward, my mouth directly over the point where the blood flowed over his pulse. I inhaled, the sweet scent burning down my throat into the pit of my stomach, my whole body was alight with the thirst that I knew I wouldn't be able to resist.

My teeth sank into the soft skin like a hand cutting through water. His heart rate soared as he felt the pain, a quiet yelp escaping his lips. I felt him thrash against my hold, but it was futile, he couldn't break free from my grasp, not now, not ever.

The warm blood flowed down my throat, filling me with its rich taste. A growl rumbled in my chest as the animalistic desire took over. His heart beat slowed until it spluttered and stopped completely, his last breath escaped his lips in a soft whisper against my cheek.

He was dead long before I had finished.

When I pulled away, allowing his lifeless body to drop from my arms, I leant my head back, looking up into the sky, my eyes closing as the euphoria washed over me. But as the euphoria drifted away with the breeze I began to realise what I had just done. I had killed someone, an innocent young man who still had his life ahead of him.

What made him any different to Jasper? What gave me the right to kill him when I told myself that I could never kill Jasper?

The shame, when it came, smacked into me, knocking the wind from my body. I could feel it curling up my spine, the same disgust I felt every time I killed another, but this time it was worse. Because this time I knew that what Shadow had said was right. No matter how much I tried to cover it, I was what I was. I was inevitably a monster.

I buried him where he died, his body laying in an unmarked grave, where he would stay for the rest of eternity. No one would find him, no one would know where he was. He would remain missing forever.

I left the forest then, knowing I'd never return there again. I ran all the way home, the shame of what I had done sat heavy on my mind. Even as I cleaned myself, scrubbing at my marble skin, I could still feel it.

And as I came to stand in front of the mirror, I watched her, the monster in the mirror, the shame of the crime she had committed was etched across her face. I found myself unable to look away as the deep red irises of the monster in front of me stared right back.

* * *

The eyes were a constant reminder, they stayed there, deep red and menacing. I hunted repeatedly, hoping that the more animal blood I drank, the quicker the eyes would return to the colour they had been before.

But it didn't work like that. It took days for the red irises to dissolve into an orangey brown colour, yet it only took one mistake to bring them back again.

I hadn't seen Jasper, not even during the night time whilst he slept, I had stayed away from him, not wanting him to see the monster within me. I didn't want him to remember the first time we had met, for him to recognise the blood red eyes and know instantly that I was dangerous.

And so I stayed away.

Two weeks. Fourteen days. Three hundred and thirty six hours.

It didn't matter how I looked at it, it always meant the same thing. Two gruellingly slow weeks it took for the monster within me to fade, two weeks it took for my eyes to return to the shade of gold they were before. And it was those two weeks that I had to stay away from Jasper, the wait was torturous, painful and slow.

But finally I was allowing myself to go see him, to be in his presence once again. And even though I could still feel the shame of killing the young boy only two weeks before, I was excited to see him, and I couldn't stop myself from feeling that way.

When I got to the house, I stood outside looking up at the building in front of me, I could hear him inside, he was in his bedroom listening to music. I could also hear Esme in the kitchen, cooking by the sounds of things, Rosalie was with her, talking about something she had to do at school.

I walked to the door slowly and pressed the doorbell, I waited patiently, listening to the sounds of Esme's shoes as she walked towards the door. When it opened I turned to look at her, noting the welcoming smile she always seemed to have for me.

If only she knew.

"Alice," she exclaimed, welcoming me in with her hand. "What a lovely surprise."

"I came to see Jasper, is he in?" I asked, even though I quite obviously knew the answer. She smiled at me, giving me a look only a mother could give, it was almost approval, but approval of what I wasn't sure.

"Sure, he's upstairs, go on up there, I'm sure he won't mind," she said, a hint of amusement in her tone. I smiled at her then slowly made my way upstairs, his door was shut when I got to the second floor, his music was still on, I knew he didn't know I was here.

I knocked on the door and waited as I heard him turn the music down. "Come in," he said, in an almost bored tone, I was certain he thought I was his mother.

As I opened the door and stepped in, he looked up slowly from the laptop that was sitting on his lap. When he saw me, his eyes widened and lit up, a beautiful smile forming on his face. His heart starting to beat an irregular pattern for just a second.

"Alice," he cried as he shut his laptop and placed it on the table next to him. "I can't believe you're here, I haven't seen you in such a long time I thought maybe..." His voice trailed off as he allowed his eyes to travel down my body slowly.

"Wow," he breathed. "You look... amazing."

I smiled, I couldn't help it. There was something about Jasper, just being with him made me feel calmer, I didn't understand how he could have such an effect on me, but I knew that I would never complain. I hardly felt the shame I had been feeling only moments before I had rang the doorbell.

"Thank you, Jasper," I replied, smiling as I saw him blushing softly, he was truly adorable when he did that.

It was silent for a moment as we looked at each, even though I was focusing solely on Jasper, I couldn't help but hear what Esme was doing downstairs. She was on the phone, talking to god knows who but what I did know was that she was talking about me and Jasper.

"He's been talking about her for the past week," she murmured, even though I couldn't see her, I knew she was smiling as she spoke. "I really think he likes her, Carmen, I really do."

"Exactly," she said, obviously replying to something Carmen had just said. "She's such a lovely girl too, I think they would be very well suited."

I couldn't help but smile at her comments, a smile that Jasper didn't miss. "What are you smiling about?" he asked, as another smile formed on his lips.

"Your mom is talking about us," I told him, smirking to myself at the confused look that formed on his face.

"How do you know?" he asked, his brow furrowing slightly.

"Super special hearing powers," I replied whilst taping my ears with my finger.

He smiled as he shook his head in amusement. "Of course," he muttered.

"Do you mind if we go out somewhere?" I asked. "Just you and me?"

To be honest I didn't even need to ask, I could tell as soon as his eyes lit up with excitement that he would love to do just that.

"Sure," he said as he reached for his coat and slipped his shoes on. He led the way downstairs, going to find Esme first to tell her that we were going out. She waved at us from where she was leaning against the kitchen counter, the phone to her ear.

As soon as we got outside I heard Esme's happy squeals, and I couldn't help but listen to what she had to say next.

"Oh my god they've just left together, Carm," she sighed, then paused as Carmen spoke. "I know, I can't help but be happy for him."

A smile broke out across my face as we began to walk. "Your mother is lovely, you know that?" I told him.

He nodded and smiled too. "I know," he sighed, I could hear the love in his voice. "I just wish she could find someone, ya know?"

I looked up at him, confused, I didn't quite understand what he meant.

"My father died when Rosalie was a baby," he said, his voice ringing with emotions. "He was in an accident at work, they couldn't save him. Mom hasn't been with anyone else since."

"I'm so sorry, Jasper," I told him, even though I knew it wasn't technically the same thing, I understand what it felt like to lose a parent.

"My father died, too," I continued, wincing slightly as I thought about _how _he had died. I felt Jasper's arm on my shoulder and suddenly he was in front of me, his arms wrapping around me.

I froze.

I wasn't prepared to be this close to him.

I held my breath instantly as he held me, I didn't know what my ridged body felt like, it probably felt like he was hugging a slab of granite. I worked on relaxing my body, and as he pulled away from me, I told myself that I had almost managed it.

"I'm sorry too, Alice," he murmured as he stared at me.

I shrugged softly, a weak smile forming on my face. "It's alright, it happened a while ago now," I replied, even though it still hurt just as much as it ever did.

"So," he began, obviously sensing that I wanted the subject to change. "Whereabouts are we heading?"

I thought for a moment, I didn't really know where we were going, we were just walking in a random direction. And then a thought came to me, a place I had been only once before when I had to collect my shoe when I'd thrown it from my window.

"I know somewhere we could go," I told him, thinking about which way was the best way to go from where we were. "It's not that too far away, I promise it won't take that long."

He smiled softly and carried on following in the direction we were heading. "It's alright, I trust you."

And those three words alone made me feel an emotion so profound yet so natural that it took me surprise. I didn't think I could have loved someone as much as what I loved Jasper in that moment.

When we rounded the corner to Safe Haven Point Jasper stopped and looked around, his eyes were wide as he took in the gardens around him.

"Wow," he breathed. "What is this place?"

"It's called Safe Haven Point," I murmured, looking around as well.

"Hmm, I guess this is our safe haven then," he replied, taking a step into the gardens. I smiled as I followed him.

Our safe haven. I really liked the sound of that.

* * *

It had been a week since we'd first been to Safe Haven Point together. A whole week of seeing each other every afternoon. A whole week of pure happiness, an emotion I wasn't used to, not since my change.

We'd taken to meeting each other there, though most the time I waited outside his home, and followed him most of the way just to make sure he got there safely. I knew I was bordering on very stalkerish tendencies, but I couldn't help but think that something was going to go wrong. That something, or someone, was going to ruin our happiness.

That someone being the Volturi.

But I pushed them from my mind as I watched Jasper walk towards me, the same smile he always had for me was plastered across his face.

"Hey you," I murmured as he came to sit down next to me. I realised that as I smiled at him, whenever I was around him, the smile rarely left my face.

"Hey," he replied, his voice a soft whisper as if he didn't want anyone else to hear us. It was as if whenever we were together, we were in our own little bubble, the outside world didn't matter to us. It was just Jasper and I.

"You okay?" he asked, as he always did.

I smiled and nodded, as normal. "I am now that you're here."

And then he would smile and blush, just like always. And I would smile, because he had blushed once again, something that I couldn't help but find completely and utterly adorable. And if it were possible, it always made me love him just that little bit more.

"I have a question," he murmured, looking at me as if he was asking if he could ask me, I just nodded, letting him know to carry on.

"When you first came to my house... when you saved Rosalie..." He faltered then, looking down at the ground as if he didn't know what to say next. "Your eyes," he whispered. "They were black."

I froze, my eyes remained fixed on him, I was unable to move, unable to do anything. Slowly, bit by bit, I thawed out.

"What did you want to know?" I asked, my voice was cautious, my tone reluctant.

He fiddled with his sleeves as he looked down at the ground once again. "Why were they black, Alice?" he asked, his voice a soft yet curious whisper.

Even though I had been expecting him to say it, I was still shocked. I didn't know how to answer him without terrifying him. My eyes were black because I was thirsty, I was thirsty because I was around him and his blood was far too tempting to me.

But I couldn't say that.

"My eyes... they..." I paused, glancing at him from the corner of my eyes, he was looking at me now. "They change colour sometimes... and when they are black... it's not... safe."

He nodded slowly as if he was trying to take it all in, I grimaced and looked away from him, I didn't want to see the scared expression on his face.

"It's okay," he murmured. And then he did something that I hadn't anticipated. He touched my hand, curling his warm hand around my cold one.

I snatched my hand away, my eyes wide, my teeth gritted together. And I sat there, watching him, waiting for the disgust to crawl its way onto his face.

But it never came.

"What's wrong?" he asked, and it wasn't disgust in his voice, it was hurt, confusion.

"I'm sorry... it's just you... you touched me," I stuttered, my eyes still as wide as saucers.

"So?" he replied, chuckling softly, but I couldn't laugh with him. I didn't say anything more and everything fell silent around us.

"You know, that was the first night I dreamt of you," he murmured, looking at me intently, his eyes were full of something so strong, so profound that I knew I would easily get lost in them if I allowed it.

"The first? You mean you've dreamt of me more than once?" I asked, the smile breaking out across my face at the possibility. He looked down sheepishly, his fingers fiddling with the sleeve on his jumper yet again.

"Yeah, I kind of dream about you almost every night," he whispered, I knew he was hoping I couldn't hear him, but I wasn't about to ignore him.

He remained looking down at his hands and I could see the blush form on his face, I knew that it must have been hard for him to admit what he did. It was strange, the feelings that were flowing through me at this moment, all I could feel was the love that I felt towards him, it overpowered everything else.

"Don't be ashamed, Jasper," I told him, smiling to strengthen my point. "You know if I could dream at all, it would be about you, but you already occupy my every waking thought."

He looked up at me and smiled contently, neither of us look away, neither of us broke our eye contact, because we knew we didn't have to.

"You're the one family I hadn't anticipated on meeting," I murmured, subconsciously leaning towards him as I spoke. "But I'm that I did."

He smiled at me, a smile that always reached his eyes when he was looking at me. "I'm glad that you did, too."

We sat together in comfortable silence for a moment letting our little encounter pass, the breeze blew softly passed us, making his hair dishevel and his scent blow into my face. I smiled as I realised how little the urge to take his life had become. It didn't take long for me to override the desire now that I spent more and more time with him.

I turned to face him and wasn't amazed to find he was already watching me, he flashed me one of his charming smiles showing me his perfectly straight teeth.

"It's beautiful out here, isn't it?" he murmured as he gestured out towards the scenery that surrounded us. I took a long moment to allow my eyes to absorb every aspect before I answered him.

"Yes," I agreed. "Twilight is my favourite time of the day."

He smiled at me again and as I looked at him I suddenly longed to bring my lips to his skin, but this time, for a totally different reason. And as I thought about the strange longing, the vision that I always had when I was alone flashed into my mind once again. I shouldn't have been ashamed that I wanted to kiss him.

"It's my favourite time, too," he murmured, his voice so faint I probably wouldn't have heard it if I were human. "For I get to see you at twilight."

He then staggered me by taking my hand in his for a second time, once again I am left astounded by how at ease he is to touching my ice cold skin. But unlike before I did not remove my hand from his. Instead I curled my fingers around his and welcomed the twinge that formed in my stomach at his touch.

For I did not care for anything more, neither of us cared about what was to come, because at that moment in time, I was complete, and nothing could stop that.

* * *

**A/N****: Well.. that was jam packed with stuff! Alice dreams about kissing Jasper **(who doesn't?)**, Shadow flipped and started a fight, Alice slipped up and killed a human boy, Jasper and Alice bonded **(aw) **and they held hands.**

**Let me know what you liked or maybe hated about this chapter in the form of a review. I really want to hear what you have to say. Your reviews help me. Also, if you have any questions referring to things that haven't been covered yet, please ask away. Maybe I would have forgotten to add something :)**

**Anyways. So long my readers! =)**


	17. Chapter 16

**A/N****: Chapter 16 :)**

**Bit of a bummer that nobody reviewed the last chapter, but okay, I guess you must have been busy, no worries =)  
**

**You will probably hate me for this chapter, or claim that I am moving it on too quickly. I honestly did think about adding another chapter before this one that is based solely around Jasper and Alice talking. But I couldn't think of anything substantial enough to write a whole chapter about. It would have ended up as I filler. And I don't like writing filler chapters.**

**We have vicious Alice once again. It's so fun writing that side of her!**

**Anyways, hope you like it... *****hides behind a rock***

**Disclaimer****: Hello, my name is Stephenie Meyer and Jasper is mine, ALL mine. *cries* I wish the latter was true, unfortunately, none of the above is in fact true. I am not Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

**

**Chapter 16 – At Whatever Cost**

My thoughts kept going back to Jasper as I hunted; it couldn't be safe for me to think about him so much when I gave my sense over the hunt. What if I was thinking about him so much that I actually went and hunted him?

I laughed and shook my head. _N__o! I'd never do that_.

I looked down at my watch and saw that it was coming up to 5.45pm. _S__hit! _I was going to be late, really late.

I quickly drained the deer that I'd caught, not enjoying it as much as what I had been and started making my way back towards Forks. I really couldn't afford to be late. I couldn't stand the idea of making him wait on his own.

But as I ran I suddenly caught a scent that I knew wasn't human, I looked around trying to find the source of this scent, and I knew she was around here somewhere. I immediately fell into a defensive stance, especially after what had happened at our last meeting.

"Shadow?" As I spoke her name she came running from the trees to the left of me, I spun round to see her, ready to scold her for spying, when I caught her expression.

"Shadow? What's happened?" I demanded.

"It's Jasper," she gasped. "I think he's in trouble."

It was in that moment, where I felt the world disappear around me, that my eyes went blind and I stared into the nothingness around me. He was in trouble. I didn't wait to hear anything more as I started to run, I could feel my chest tightening with each step I took. I should have known, I was waiting for something to happen and now that it had, I didn't know what to do.

I knew as soon as she mentioned Jasper I knew that it had happened, Marcus had found out about Jasper, there was no other possibility.

I could sense Shadow running behind me, she wasn't as fast as me and even though I needed an explanation I knew that I wasn't about to slow down for her.

I knew I had to get to the Hale's house and protect Jasper and his family, I just hoped that I wasn't too late, but deep down, I knew that I was.

I didn't stop running when I got to the outskirts of Forks I just kept running straight to the street on which the Hale's lived. I didn't care if someone saw me - I had to get to him no matter what.

I raced up the steps and with a glance down at my watch, which said it was 6.27pm, I quickly knocked on the door. I heard Esme walking to the door and as she opened she greeted me warmly.

"Alice!" she exclaimed. "It's lovely to see you again."

I tried to smile at her but I failed miserably. "Esme, is Jasper here? I need to see him."

As she shook her head my stomach dropped. All of a sudden I felt incredibly sick, a feeling that I hadn't experienced in a while. I was terrified.

"Where is he?" I asked, I knew there was far too much tension in that one, casual question, but if she noticed, she didn't show it.

"Oh I dropped him off at that small place just off of Russell Drive," she replied, pointing with her hand in that direction. "That place opposite the gardens, if you hurry, you'll be able to catch him."

I thanked her quickly before turning around and making my way down the steps at a painfully slow pace. As soon as I knew it was safe to run I started to race to where I knew Jasper was meant to be waiting for me.

As I ran I hoped to myself that he would be sitting there waiting for me as usual, I could just imagine his face as I ran up to him all flustered, the cheeky grin, his light hearted laugh.

But as I rounded the corner into Russell Drive his scent hit me and I stopped in my tracks as another familiar scent hit my senses. Marcus.

I raced up to the top of the steps, my chest felt painfully tight as I spotted Jasper's mobile phone smashed and abandoned on the floor. I sensed that Shadow was behind me, I knew she would be able to recognise his scent.

"I'm sorry, Alice," she murmured. As I turned towards her, I saw the disappointment in her eyes; I shook my head angrily, Marcus had started as war which he would not win.

"Shadow what happened?" I demanded. "Tell me what happened."

"Casper found out about Alexander and told Marcus, I didn't know what to do Alice he threatened me, he threatened to kill Alec's family if I didn't tell him the truth. I tried not to look in his eye but he forced me. He asked if you knew about him and then it just slipped…"

I took a step towards her, my hands shaking with anger. "_What _just slipped?" I growled, even though, deep down, I already knew.

Her face crumpled as she fell to her knees. "I thought of Jasper..."

I gasped, my chest tightening unbearably. It would only take one small flash of memory and it would all be over. And that was what they got.

"What happened after that Shadow? What did they say?" I demanded. When she didn't answer I ran up to her and shook her roughly, shouting for her to tell me. The timbre of desperation was evident in my tone.

"Casper saw it all in my mind and then they were gone and I don't know where they went but I knew they were going after him because they saw Alice they saw it all... where he lives where you meet... what his scent it... I..." Her voice trailed off as she took unnecessary breaths, she was rambling, her voice hysterical.

As I looked at her my body and mind froze to the spot, she had unintentionally handed it to them on a plate. Where to find him with a map and directions to follow. I shook my self out of the stupor that I was in, suddenly becoming aware of what it was that I had to do to get him back.

"Where did they take him, Shadow?" I demanded. I _needed _to know. I watched her as she thought about it for a moment, I felt like shaking her again.

"There is a house not too far from here, it's barely used," she replied, she didn't sound sure of herself, but it was all I had. As soon as she finished she stood up and started running, I knew instantly that she was taking me there.

It wasn't long before we were out of Forks and running towards the National Olympic Forest. I never knew the coven had more than one house. I should have known.

I don't know how long we were running for, but as Shadow started slowing I knew that we were getting near. She turned to me and put her finger to her lips, signalling for me to be silent. _As if I wasn't already silent._

She turned back and pointed with her finger through the trees, in the distance I saw a large house in the middle of a group of large oak trees. I quickly ran the last one hundred metres towards the house.

But as I got less than ten metres away I stopped and I clenched my fists into tight balls as I turned back to Shadow.

"He's not here, Shadow," I told her. "None of them are."

She looked at me, her expression confused as she lifted her nose into the wind, as if she was trying to pick of individual scents.

"Are you sure?" she asked, her brow furrowing. I had a fleeting thought that she was stalling, trying to stop me from getting to Jasper. Giving them more time to do whatever it was they had planned for Jasper. I shuddered at the mere thought.

"I'd know, Shadow, trust me, none of them are in that building," I replied as I started to move away from her. "It's been empty for months."

I hung my head briefly knowing that there was a possibility that I was too late. "How many more coven houses are there?" I asked.

She shook her head slowly at me and looked down at her ground. All I wanted her to do was answer me. "I don't know, I just don't know," she cried whilst running her hands through her hair.

"What do you mean you don't _know?"_ I practically roared. "You are part of this coven! Surely you'd know how many houses there were!"

"Marcus holds all the details of the coven houses, he never tells any of us about them. And when he does its only because we need them. He keeps all the details locked in his safe, neither me or Casper know the coordinates."

I started running as soon as she finished speaking and I knew, without having to listen, that she was following right behind me.

"We are getting into that safe," I told her, determination ringing in my tone. She didn't reply to my comment, instead we both push ourselves to the limit. I had to get to Jasper at any cost, I didn't case what I had to do. Nothing would get in my way.

* * *

The coven house was eerily quiet as we made our way through the corridors towards Marcus's study; it was a room that I'd never ventured into before. Shadow went straight to the safe in the wall and started trying different combination codes, I exhaled loudly and sped towards the safe and nudged her out of the way.

I didn't have time to wait around guessing codes.

I curled my hand into a ball and smashed it through the metal covering of the safe, the first attempt didn't break through, but on the second punch my hand hit the back of the safe. I curled my hands around the inside of the door and wrenched it from the hinges, throwing the metal to the floor. I turned to Shadow who stared at me for a second with a look of admiration.

She then jumped to life and started rummaging through the safe until she pulled out a large envelope filled with papers. She rifled through them quickly and forced three pages my way before throwing the rest to the side.

"They are the only other coven houses on record, I would bet that they will be in one of those," she told me, as we looked through them. I looked down at each of them in sighed, one was situated in Seattle, another Portland and another somewhere in Canada. I knew they wouldn't go as far as Canada, running would take hours, especially whilst carrying Jasper.

So that left the house in Seattle and Portland, I looked at the description of the houses, and wondered which of them held the one I was in love with.

I thought back to the painful memories of when I had been turned into a vampire, I remembered the house clearly. Large but lonely as it sat in the middle of a forest, it was secluded – perfect spot if you didn't want to be found.

"Shadow, are either of these houses surrounded by the forest?" I asked, handing her the descriptions as she reached for them.

"The house that is in Portland is situated just outside the city, but its completely surrounded by trees," she replied. "Why?"

"It would be the perfect place for them to take someone and not be found," I replied. With the sheet in hand I turned towards the door, but before I could take a step she reached out and stopped me.

"Wait, you're taking a massive chance here, if you're wrong about this we won't make it to the other house in Seattle in time. I think we should split up," she said. "Here, take this, if both of us get to our destination and find that he isn't there, we tell each other."

I took the small phone that she handed me and placed it in my pocket, I took one last look at her and murmured good luck as I ran from the building. It would take me at least an hour to run to Portland from Forks, I just hoped that there wouldn't be any obstructions.

The phone buzzed in my pocket around forty minutes into my journey, I didn't stop as I answered the phone I knew either way I was about to get bad news.

"He's not here, Alice," she told me, rushing over her words. "He's in Portland, hurry!"

I could already hear her running in the background, she was going to follow me to Portland, I just hoped that when I got there, I wasn't too late. I was close to my destination when I first caught a familiar scent. It was Casper's, I was certain of it. It was faint, but it was a sign, and that was all I needed.

I pushed myself to the limit, forcing my legs to move faster than what they ever had, I knew I was close when I caught more scents. Marcus's and then the scent I was dreading, Jasper's. I slowed down as I reached the outskirts of the wood, Jasper's scent was hitting me from every direction, I knew that I was close, there was no doubt about that.

And then I saw the house just a little ahead of me, unlike the others this house was alive, the scent was fresh and I could hear them inside. But one thing I could hear for certain was a heart beat. Jasper's heart beat, he was still alive.

I surged forward towards the house. Who knew what awaited me inside but he was alive and that was all that mattered to me.

The house was fully furnished which surprised me; the stair case was in the centre of the main room I didn't look around as I caught the person standing at the top of the stair case. Casper glared at me as I ascended the stairs, I would fight him if he refused to let me pass.

"You shouldn't have come here, Alice," he said, his voice was emotionless. "You're not going to stop this."

I sneered at him sardonically as I reached the top step. "When did I ever listen to a word you said, Casper?"

He grimaced slightly, the pain that flashed across his face confused me, he stepped towards me, his hand outstretched towards me as if he wanted to touch me.

"Why are you risking everything for this human? He's not worth it, you should be with someone who is like you," he murmured, his voice filled with a different emotion I didn't recognise, not from Casper. "You should be with someone who understands who you really are..."

I laughed once, it sounded strange to my ears, it was a humourless and cold sound. "What? Someone like you?" I shrieked. "You really think I'd want to be with someone who ruined my life?!"

His expression changed, morphing into hurt as he took a step forward, but I pushed him away, he was stalling, I wanted to get to Jasper.

"Get out of my way, Casper. Now!" I growled, punctuating each word with a breath. I didn't wait as I barrelled into him, pushing him over the banister. He fell over the edge and landed on the floor below. I did not wait to see what his outcome was.

I rushed forward towards the door that I heard Jasper in, his heartbeat was still strong. I was so close.

And then I heard him cry out in pain as I smashed through the door, my mind went crazy, my vision turned red with anger as I saw Marcus standing over Jasper's body on the floor. His wrist was in his mouth, drinking his blood.

An angered snarl escaped my lips as I pounced at him, knocking him halfway across the room. I looked back at Jasper who was writhing on the floor, and my chest tightened as he looked me in the eye. Pleading for me to stop the pain.

I turned back to Marcus as he charged at me but my foot connected with his chest, pushing him backwards into the far wall, we both knew that I was the strongest in the room. My whole body shook with the anger as my memories took me back to a night so similar to this one, fighting against the leader that had ruined a part of me forever.

Marcus put up more of a fight than what Aro had, but the outcome was the same, no one would win against someone fighting for their love. His cries of pain reverberated through the house, they were loud in my ears as I destroyed him. But he deserved this pain for what he'd done.

I didn't know how long Casper had been standing in the room, but I could see the frantic look in Marcus's eye as he cried out for his help.

"Casper! Please!" Marcus cried, the pain filled his tone. It gave me a sick kind of satisfaction to hear it.

"Your life does not mean enough for me to defend you when it comes to a fight, Marcus," he replied, his tone was ice and full of hatred. The look of defeat was in his eyes as Marcus knew that he was truly alone. The look remained forever etched on his face as I tore his head from his body.

I wasn't aware of Shadow until I turned back to Jasper, she didn't look up from his face as I knelt next to him.

"What's happening to him, Shadow?" I demanded frantically.

"The transformation is beginning for him," she murmured, not taking her eyes from Jasper's face. I inhaled sharply as I looked in his eyes, I could see the pain and fear etched across his beautiful face.

"No!" I cried. "There must be something that can be done. He can't become one of us! He can't!"

"There isn't anything you can do, Alice," she replied, her tone full of sympathy. "The venom has penetrated his system, I'm sorry, but it's going to happen."

My chest tightened as I looked at him, I let out a heat breaking cry of defeat as I took his hand in mine and brushed his hair from his eyes.

"I'm sorry Jasper, please believe me. This wasn't how it was meant to be," I said, my voice barely a whisper. He gripped my hand tightly and cried out in pain, my stone cold heart tore in two as I watched his face crumple in pain before me.

I knew that there was movement behind me but I didn't pay attention, I could hear Shadow call out to Casper in need of his help but I didn't turn around. I just remained staring into his eyes.

I only looked away when I felt a hand on my shoulder; I looked up to see Shadow looking down at me with a sympathetic expression etched across her face.

"Take him home, Alice," she told me, sorrow filling her eyes.

"I can't, what about Esme? What about Rosalie?" I said, just thinking about Esme and Rosalie made my chest tighten in pain.

She shook her head slowly and squeezed my shoulder softly. "His home is with you now, Alice."

I just nodded because I already knew deep down he would never be able to return to the place that he called home, he had to leave his family and friends just as I had.

"What do I do Shadow?" I asked. "He's got a family, a little sister!"

I thought back to Rosalie, watching her with her brother, seeing the look of adoration in her eyes as she looked at him. I couldn't think of the devastation that she would undoubtedly feel when she found out he was missing. And it was all my fault.

"We all had families, Alice. You need to be strong for him when he awakes," she told me, her voice was calm yet authoritative. "Wait by his side until then, just be his constant. He'll need someone to pull him through."

I nodded as I realised that I was responsible for him now. I picked him up and held him in my arms close to my chest. I could hear his heart beating frantically in his chest, I would really miss that sound.

I walked towards the door but something made me turn back, I saw Shadow watching me but she wasn't what I looked at. Casper watched me from the window, his eyes darkened by a deep sorrow that ran through his whole body. I could see it in his eyes that this was killing him slowly.

_I'm sorry, _I thought to myself knowing that he'd be able to hear me. I watched as his face crumpled in pain as I turned away from him and leave the room at a run.

* * *

I watched from my spot on the bed as he called out in pain once again, each time it felt as if I was being stabbed in the heart. Each time I wanted to take the pain from him and make it my own.

It had been three days since I had left the coven house in Portland; I never once left his side as I watched him transform into a vampire before my eyes. I kept up the constant row of assurances that the pain would be over soon, I knew of already the assurances would mean nothing when the pain felt as bad as it did.

But I knew that by now the pain would be subsiding and his fingers would be free of pain, I held onto his hand as he fought through his pain. I could already feel his strength as he gripped my hand.

Shadow had been here checking on him, she told me that it would only last three days and then he'd be awake, three days was too long to suffer in this way. I asked about his family and she told me with a pained expression that they were sending out search parties and police patrols. I loved Esme like a mother and it was a constant war against my better judgement to not go and find her and tell her what happened to her only son. I didn't want to think about what would become of them.

Shadow told me not to talk to Esme again, she told me to stay away from Forks completely. I told her it was a bad idea, as Esme had seen me looking for Jasper the same day he went missing, she'd want to hear whether I found him or not. I had to see her at some point, and I knew that I would.

But I forgot about everything as I heard the sound of Jasper's heart rate increasing to a phenomenal speed that certainly wasn't natural. I held onto his hand tighter as I remembered going through the experience myself. The pain was worst in that moment than anything before.

I silently willed the pain to stop so that I could have my Jasper back, I didn't want him to be in pain any longer. And then, as if my wishes were being answered, his heart stopped altogether and his eyes opened.

I held my breath pointlessly realising that my throat no longer burnt with his scent, I watched as his eyes frantically looked about him, until finally his eyes met my own and widened in surprise.

* * *

**A/N****: Let know know what you liked or hated about the chapter in a form of a review :) Sigh. Nobody listens here either.**

**Marcus: Well that is a bummer, isn't it? Now I'm all dead like...**

**Casper: I think I'm going to go crawl under a rock and die now that Alice has **_**him**_**.**

**Shadow: What the hell am I meant to do now? *looks at Casper suggestively and winks***

**Casper: AW HELL NO, I AM NOT GOING THERE.**

**Paula: Sorry guys.**

**Alice: Pfft, forget them, you gave me Jasper!**

**Paula: *glares* Only because I couldn't have him myself.**

**Alice: *sticks out tongue* Ha ha ha!!**

**Jasper: SWEET! I'm a vampire now!**


	18. Chapter 17

**A/N****: Chapter 17!**

**It seems we have a new POV in this chapter! Yes, Jasper is here :)**

**I really enjoyed writing this chapter, especially the first section... I lie, I loved writing evil Casper the most, he is just so interesting to write.**

**It is very hard **(for me, at least) **to write the whole 'burning' scene, this is my second attempt, I don't know if its any better than Alice's version. But whatever, you know what's happening. Stephenie Meyer does it the best.**

**Um.. Nothing more to say, so enjoy!**

**Disclaimer****: What I do own: Jasper, A Twilight calender, a Twilight poster, Jasper, a Twilight CD, four Twilight books, two Twilight movie companions, A JASPER T-SHIRT, a Twilight DVD, Jasper. Sigh. I lie yet again. I do not own Jasper. Dammit.**

**There may be lines from the Twilight Saga in this chapter... I can't remember. But if you notice any, then you know they belong to Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

**

**Chapter 17 – The End Is My Beginning**

_**The Tale of Jasper Whitlock Hale – His New Beginning**_

I looked down at my watch for the hundredth time in the past hour, Rosie's performance was running overtime, it was almost 5.45pm. I had fifteen minutes to make a twenty minute trip, and neither my mother or my sister looked like they were about it leave.

"Mom, how long will you two be?" I asked, leaning across to whisper into her ear. She sighed dramatically at me, I had already asked her this many times in the last fifteen minutes.

"Stop being so impatient, Jas, we will leave when we leave," she replied. "End of."

"But mommmmm!" I groaned, my voice rose to a high pitched whiny sound.

"Don't but mom me!" she replied. "This is Rosalie's night, stop being a pain in the ass."

I slumped back in my seat crossing my arms across my chest, they had said it would last just over an hour. That was almost an hour and a half ago and they were still going on, I glared up at the stage. _It isn't even Rosalie performing_. She had been one of the first to perform, she had been amazing, by far the best dancer in the performance. I had been so proud of her as she'd danced across the stage. Mom had been crying next to me and when she finished, I was certain that both our hands were red raw from clapping.

I looked back down at my watch, it was 5.55pm I was going to be very late. The teacher came onto the stage and started giving a speech about god knows what, I gritted my teeth and waited for him to shut the hell up. Finally he said goodbye and told us all the leave by the main doors. I glanced at mom who was looking around, obviously trying to find Rosalie.

"Okay Jasper, lets go, Rosie's waiting by the dressing rooms," she said as she started walking in the direction of the dressing rooms.

"Finally," I cried, exaggerating my point as I threw my arms up in the air. She turned back to me, placing her hands on my shoulder.

"Hunny, I know you want to go out and meet your friend, but please don't give Rosalie a hard time, you know she's been looking forward to this for weeks," she said, using her motherly voice she always does when talking about Rosalie.

I nodded at her quickly, wasn't it obvious by now that I would never be deliberately horrible to Rosalie? We walked over to where Rosalie was standing with a group of other performers. She rushed over to us, her face lit up with a radiant smile on her face. She ran up to me first, practically bouncing on the spot, the elation pouring out of her.

"Jasper! Did you like my performance?" she asked, I could hear the excitement in her voice, I loved seeing her this excited. I inwardly rolled my eyes at mom's warning glance. I ignored her and looked down at Rosalie with a smile.

"Of course I did, Rosie! You're going to be a famous dancer one day," I told her, a encouraging smile spread across my face.

"Really? You really think I will be?" she asked, looking up at me with excited eyes, I smiled at her and nodded as I took her hand and followed our mother to the car.

"One day I'm going to look up and see your name in flashing light at some posh dancing academy," I replied, smiling to myself at the thought. "You're going to be a star one day Rosalie Hale."

She was bouncing around at my side, she loved the idea of being famous one day, she was beautiful yet smart for her age and she had an amazing talent when she was dancing. I couldn't help but admire that.

"I love you, Jasper, you're the bestest big brother in the world," she cried, swinging her hand in mine.

"Well you're the bestest little sister in the world, Rosie," I replied, my voice quieter than hers, not even mom would have heard. "And I love you too."

I sat in the back with her on the ride home, she talked constantly about her performance as well as all the other girls. She talked about their dresses and their make up with such fascination, I knew without a doubt she'd totally be into all of that stuff when she was older. I glanced up at mom, seeing her smiling back at us in the mirror, I couldn't help but smile with her.

"Jas, whereabouts is is that you are meeting your friend tonight?" she asked. "I can drop you off there if you like?"

"Safe Haven Point, it's just over from Avenue Park Gardens," I told her. "But I don't mind walking."

"It's okay, hunny, I know you're running a little late," she said, I could hear the smile in her voice as she said the next part. "I don't want your friend thinking you've stood them up."

I couldn't help but smile, we both knew that _she _knew full well that it was Alice I was meeting, especially after what Alice had told me, I knew that mom really liked her. And I couldn't explain how happy that made me feel. I'd known, from past experiences that mom's rarely liked the girls their sons dated.

Hmm. Dated.

Me and Alice weren't dating.

Oh how I wished we were, there wasn't anything in the world that I wanted more right now than to be with Alice like that. I couldn't really put into words the emotions I was feeling for Alice whenever I saw her. She was just the impossible girl that I was falling in love with.

"Jas?" mom asked, breaking me from my reverie.

"Um, yeah, that would be great, mom," I replied.

It hadn't occurred to me that Alice would think I stood her up, of course she would wait, Alice would always wait. And even if I didn't turn up, I was certain that she would come find me, I had nothing to worry about.

Mom pulled the car up just outside of the gardens, I smiled, I bet she was dying to drive in a little closer and see Alice, but she didn't. Instead she turned to me, resting her hand on the side of the opposite chair.

"I want you back before eleven, Jasper," she told me, as she always did when I was about to go out, she was always so protective. "Try not to stay out too late after that, and don't go getting yourself into trouble."

I rolled my eyes at her, which made her smile softly. "Yeah yeah, I know mom, I promise I will be sensible."

And then after a thought. "I haven't got my keys though, so leave the door unlocked, okay?"

"Sure thing, hunny," she replied. "Have fun."

Just as I was getting out Rosalie leant out the window, a big smile on her face. "Bye Jasper!"

I waved at them both as the car pulled away, Rosalie was already chatting away to mom in the front seat. I waved until they were out of sight, I then turned and started walking quickly towards where I knew Alice would be waiting for me, but as I stepped out onto the main sitting area, my heart sank in disappointment. She wasn't there.

I looked down at my watch, it was 6.15pm, so I was late. But why wasn't Alice here? She was always here so much earlier than what was necessary and I knew for a fact that she would wait for me to arrive. But then I realised she must have gone looking for me. And so I sat down in her usual spot and waited for her to return. I knew that when she wouldn't find me that she would come back here. Even mom would send her back, she would find me, it was only a matter of time..

I got out my phone from out of my pocket and opened one of the gaming applications I had stored in there. They always passed the time, at least this way I could attempt to beat my highest score while I waited.

I was just about to go higher than the top score I had last set when my hand slipped and the phone clattered to the floor with a loud crack. I was certain that something was broken, I cursed my stupidity as I bent down the grasp it.

That was when I saw the pair of feet standing only a metre in front of me.

My hand grasped at thin air as I slowly raised my head to look at who it was that was standing in front of me. I noticed the shoes first the certainly weren't Alice's designer heels, they were shoes of a male; I hadn't even heard him approach.

As my eyes travelled up his torso to his face a chill shivered down my spine as my pale green eyes met a pair of piercing red irises. The breath hitched in my throat as his upper lip pulled up bearing his white teeth, I was instantly terrified.

His hand shot out faster than what my eyes could follow and suddenly his ice cold grip was around my neck. The feel of his skin was familiar to me but as my body began to rise from the floor I suddenly became light headed as his hold was cutting off my circulation.

The last thing I heard was the sound of his laughter as my eyes closed and my thrashing legs faltered and then stopped.

That was when the darkness engulfed me.

* * *

I woke with a start, my face was sticky with sweat yet the room was bitterly cold as I looked around, adjusting my eyes to the dimly lit room. It was reasonably empty for such a large room, it looked almost medieval, with only the bed that I was laying on in the far corner.

There were no noises apart from an unrecognisable sound of something hitting together repeatedly, I looked around trying to find the source of this noise, yet nothing came to me. I felt a pain in my neck as I turned my head, it felt tender and sore as if there were multiple bruising across my skin.

And then it came to me, my phone smashed and abandoned on the floor, the stranger standing in front of me, his large red eyes, then his ice cold skinned hands around my neck. And finally, the darkness.

It was him that had brought me here, it was this place that I had been taken to. But why? I didn't know what it was I had that he needed. And then I realised. Alice.

His eyes were the same shade of red to what Alice's were the first time we had met in the field. His skin was the same ice cold temperature to what Alice's was when I had held her hand, this man was like Alice. But where was Alice? She was supposed to have met me at Safe Haven Point. She was supposed to have always been there for me and yet now I was alone when I needed her the most.

I curled my legs into my chest and wrapped my cold arms around them trying to hold the heat in but it was useless- I was close to pneumonia. I rested my head into my knees in desperation to breathe warm air onto my shivering body, yet all that came out was a thin billow of vapour escaping my blue lips.

It didn't take me long to realise that the sound that I had been hearing before was coming from me, my teeth were clattering together so loudly that it echoed off the walls. I tried to clamp my mouth together but the cold air penetrated my whole system as my body seized up and ached painfully.

I wanted Alice, I wanted the protection she gave me. But she wasn't here, and she wouldn't know that I was here. Would she see my phone? Would she realise that something had happened? Would she call the police? Would she tell my mother?

And then I remembered that I had promised to be back before 11pm, I had no sense of time, for all I knew I could have been out for hours. Maybe mom already knew that something had happened and was trying to do something about it.

The tears began rolling from my eyes as I realised who it was that had hold of me, I remembered the night that I first spent with Alice, the first time we talked. I remembered how she talked with clear precision about why she felt protective over me.

Of how she knew these people– enemies– who could be after me, and then she had told me the one thing that had chilled me to the core.

'…_They will want to kill you Jasper, and if they found you…and I'm not there… I may be too late to stop them…'_

Of course she had known then that people would be after me, of course she had known that they would try something. And she had been right, she wasn't there. But why had she been late?

I laid down on the bed, keeping my knees tucked under arms, my eyes were feeling heavy even though I was certain that I wasn't tired. The cold was getting to me, and I could tell that if I didn't get out of there soon, I would die. I fought with myself to keep my eyes open, but the battle was quickly lost and I closed my eyes, welcoming the pain free darkness to engulf me once again.

* * *

I drifted in and out of consciousness various times before finally awakening from the comatose state that I had been in, my knees had remained tucked under my arms and when I tried to move them they were stiff from the cold. Almost frozen into place.

I sat up on the bed and looked around the room; it had gotten lighter since the last time I had looked around it, giving proof to the fact that I had been out for longer than just an hour.

I stiffly hopped down from the bed and shuffled towards the window, it looked dark outside but I could tell that it was deep into the night meaning that I had been there for hours now. Still no one had come for me – I couldn't be found.

My mother would have informed the police of my disappearance, she would be frantic with worry. In that moment, all I wanted to do was get out of here and run into her arms. I might be an eighteen year old male but I found comfort in my mother so many times, and right now, I didn't care if people ribbed me for the rest of my life, I wanted my mom.

I reached for the window, my cold fingers ached as I stretched them over the latches. I pushed with all my strength, trying to open them so that I could climb out. But I was too weak and they wouldn't budge. I tried a second time knowing full well that I would fail.

"You think we'd be _that_ stupid as to leave the windows unlocked?"

My heart made a painful thump inside my chest; I turned instantly to see a young male, probably no older than what I was, standing only a few metres away. He had a wicked grin on his face as he stalked towards me like a predator.

"You've been out for a while now, I told him to just finish you off but he says he wants you to be awake to witness it happening," he murmured, his voice was twisted, contorted with hatred. "I think differently of course."

He took another step towards me as I took a step away. I whimpered as it brought me flush against the cold wall. I looked around the room trying to search out an escape point – but there were none, I was trapped – there was no where to run to.

"What are you looking for? Alice?" he cried maniacally. "Well she ain't coming! I would hate her to witness this anyway I would not take pleasure in going through her as she attempts to protect you."

His expression changed then, he looked disgusted. "Pah! She protects you, a feeble little human when she could be here, with me," he growled as he sneered at me.

A small whimper escaped my lips as he took another step towards me, my brain was riddled with the cold but as I took in his words I knew exactly what it was that he wanted – Alice, he wanted Alice. He _loves_ Alice?

"Correct, you guess right, and yet she follows you like a lovesick puppy," he continued, his eyes were staring at me as if I were his prey. "I would take a lot of pleasure in taking your life right here..."

He took another step towards me as he outstretched his hand towards me. All thoughts of how he knew what I was thinking were banished from my mind as I pressed myself against the wall. But it was futile, no matter how much I tried, there was no way of putting distance between myself and his forthcoming hand.

"Enough, Casper!" a voice exclaimed, the voice sounding more menacing them Casper's. He retreated as soon as he heard him, I looked around the room, and that was when I saw him. My heart dropped in my chest as I recognised the face of the man that had captured me.

He walked towards me, only stopping when the light from the moon shined down on him, that was when I saw him properly. As if in response to what I was thinking, the lights flickered on and I see them both staring back at me with deep red irises. I think I preferred it when the lights were off, this way I knew they really were going to kill me. No one showed their face unless the victim was about to die.

"You know why you're here?" he asked, his eyes never once leaving mine. I shook my head, feeling my heart beat painfully in my chest as the fear rippled through my body wave after wave.

"You heard of vampires, boy?" he continued, his voice dark and menacing. I was frozen to the spot as he spoke, of course I'd heard of vampires, I'd heard the stories, seen the movies. The younger of the two laughed sardonically as he took another step towards me.

"You best start believing in those stories if I were you," he said, a twisted sort of humour ringing in his tone. He grinned at me showing me a row of perfectly straight teeth. I jumped as he bit the air, my movement sending him into another round of laughter.

"Oh Marcus, this is PRICELESS!" he roared, turning to look at the man I knew to be Marcus, but he was silenced as Marcus held his hand up. Casper turned back to me as Marcus took a step towards me.

"I don't like humans knowing about us, in fact it's a rule in my coven to not involve humans in any way," he began, his piercing eyes burning into me. "But it seems your little girlfriend decided to bring you back to meet the family."

My heart was beating so loudly in my chest I was certain that everyone could hear it as he continued to speak. "You wanna guess how many humans know about us?"

I didn't reply, which gave him the answer he was looking for. I was the only person who knew about them.

"It makes me uneasy when humans know about us, and I don't like being uneasy," he continued, taking another step towards me. "You know what, Jasper, you're making me uneasy."

He closed the gap between us in less than a second, before I could react to what was going on, his hand was around my throat, pushing me further against the wall. Suddenly a feral snarl escaped his lips as he turned to Casper and growled three words.

"Alice! Stop her!"

A sudden flash of hope formed in my chest at the mention of her name, but it was immediately dashed as I watched Casper run from the room to stop her. I couldn't bear it if she was hurt or more worse, if she was _killed _because of me.

"You best say your prayers, boy, you'll be needing 'em where you're going," he growled, his face was too close to mine. With that, he tightened his grip around my neck and threw me across the room as if he were discarding a piece of rubbish. My arm hit the floor first and I felt it break on impact as my head smashed into the bed stand with a loud thump.

He was standing before me in less than a second with an evil grin spread across his face, he knelt down next to me, grabbing my broken arm. The pain seared through my arm at his touch was unbearable, my chest rose from the ground as the cry of pain escaped my lips.

But the pain was suddenly replaced as he brought my arm up to his mouth and sank his teeth into my wrist. I thrashed against his vice like hold on my arm, I didn't even think about the fact that I was pulling on my broken arm. I didn't even register that pain anymore.

I wasn't sure how, but suddenly he was gone and she was there looking down at me, even through the pain I could almost feel her own personal pain she was going through as she looked in my eye.

The pain in my arm suddenly soared, it was as if someone had placed a red hot poker on my arm and just left it there and walked away. I thrashed around on the floor clenching my hands into fists.

But the pain didn't go, it seemed to get worse with each passing second. I was only minutely aware of what was going on around me, I could hear scuffling of feet on the floor, the sound of metal tearing as well as cries of pain, but maybe they were my own, I was not sure.

Suddenly I saw a young female lean over me, her cold fingers touching my broken arm softly, she was murmuring something that I couldn't quite catch. And then I saw her, my beautiful Alice looking down at me, her dazzling golden eyes filled with an inner torment that I didn't like to see in her eyes.

I saw their lips moving, but I couldn't catch what they were saying, only catching a few words as they argued, all I knew was that I was changing.

I heard her cry out beside me and for a second I felt a stronger emotional pain that felt worse than the physical pain that was now travelling through my body.

I felt her take my hand and brush hair away from my face that I hadn't even realise was there. She leant further down to me and I saw the agony in her eyes as she spoke.

"I'm sorry Jasper, please believe me," she whispered. "This wasn't how it was meant to be."

I squeezed her hand feebly but the pain became unbearable and I cried out once again, I saw her face crumple just as I closed my eyes and the darkness engulfed me yet again.

* * *

The darkness was comforting, pain free and quiet.

But then I heard the voice of an angel calling out my name, telling me that it was going to be alright and I opened my eyes to search of this angel.

But as I opened my eyes, my whole body set alight with fire and pain. I clenched my teeth and squeezed down on something that was locked in my grasp.

I begged for this pain to stop but the fires kept on burning and I closed my eyes again as the pain got too much.

I welcomed the darkness back with open arms.

***

The next time I opened my eyes the angel was still there sitting next to me, still calling out to me, telling me the pain would go soon.

I wanted to believe my angel, I wanted to believe that this unbearable pain would go soon and I'd be alright again.

But I just couldn't.

***

It was when the pain started ebbing from my fingers that I realised the thing I was grasping was my angels hand.

I concentrated on the small areas that were pain free and surprisingly cold, even though I was certain the rest of my body was red hot.

I began hearing other voices apart from my angel's voice, even hearing other sounds that were definitely not human. Also smelling things that I hadn't smelt before.

***

I held onto my angels hand tightly, I didn't want to let go of it in case when I opened my eyes that she would be gone. And so I held onto it, tightening my grip on it as my strength returned.

I moved my feet around idly, concentrating on the areas as the pain departed from my legs and arms. I unclenched my teeth as I realised it was almost over. What my angel had said was true, the pain really was going.

And then it got worse as the pain that had subsided suddenly made it's way towards my heart, I heard it beating in my chest, which had constantly told me that I was still alive, even through all this pain. My heart beat rapidly in my chest, painfully threatening to burst from my chest. I knew that if this pain continued, I wouldn't mind that scenario happening.

Then the pain peaked and suddenly everything stopped, as if a switch had been flipped and the fire was put out. But the terrifying thing was, was that I didn't hear my heart any longer. I knew finally I must have died.

But then my eyes opened and I looked around me frantically, everything looked finer as if my eyes were automatically sharpening my surroundings. Everything seemed new, as if I was looking at it for the first time.

And then I turned my head and my eyes widened as I took in my angel, the one that had brought me through the pain lying next to me on the bed.

* * *

**A/N****: Review, please? If there's something you liked, a sentence, a quote, a piece of dialogue – **_**anything, **_**just tell me in the review. I love hearing what people liked about the chapter!**

**I know technically I left it at the same place I did in the last chapter, but the next one is good **(in my opinion) **so quit ya complaining!**


	19. Chapter 18

**A/N****: Chapter 18 :)**

**You see Jasper's reactions to finding out he's a vampire... plus... his first hunt! Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

**Thanks to those of you who review, alerted and added the story as a favourite, you wouldn't believe how much it makes my day.**

**Disclaimer****: Me and a friend were walking down the road the other day, and Jasper walked passed us. I turned to my friend and exclaimed, "I would". Jasper turned around and started walking towards me. As soon as he was close enough he said, "Hey Paula, marry me?" I agreed, of course, and we ran away into the sunset together. The end.**

**That is bullshit, you'd **_**never **_**get a sunset in England at this time of the year. Hahah.**

**Of course, Twi-Jasper-light isn't mine. Stephenie Meyer is queen.**

**I used one of my all time favourite lines from Eclipse in this chapter, I edited it a bit so that it fits with the chapter. But if you're a Jasper/Alice fan, you'll recognise it straight away.

* * *

**

**Chapter 18 – First Hunt**

He blinked at me twice, hiding his new red eyes from my view, he looked different, a nice different, but different nonetheless.

His skin was much paler now, it was the same as my own now. His hair was the same though- thankfully, I just wished his didn't have to lose his beautiful green eyes. The shade of red that they were now was all too familiar, they didn't suit the beautiful face that surrounded them.

A smile formed on his lips and he leant towards me, bringing his hand to my face and running his fingertip down my cheek.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, his voice was marvellous and smooth. A smile broke out across my face at his words. I could tell that he was slightly taken aback by his voice, so I rested my hand over the hand that was still on my cheek.

"You're beautiful too, Jasper,"I stated with a smile on my face, a beautiful smile formed on his face again but as he reached for his throat we both grimaced. We needed to go hunting. I got up from the bed first and went for my shoes that were by the door.

"Where is Rosalie?"

I froze.

"I remember seeing her... mom... where are they?"

I turned back to him, staring at him cautiously, wondering what was going on in his mind. I knew his thoughts must have been all over the place.

"They are at home," I replied, trying to keep my voice straight, even though a thousand thoughts ran through my mind.

"Are they okay?" he asked, and I was suddenly worried. I looked into his own worried expression and smiled at him, though there was nothing to smile about.

"They are fine," I whispered, when he returned the smile I knew that he was okay for now. As the worry drifted from my system I turned away from him and put on the shoes I hadn't managed to put on earlier.

When I turned, I found him still lying on the bed looking at his hands.

"Jasper?"I asked cautiously, knowing that the questions he would ask would either be about his family, or something equally as hard to answer.

"What did they do to me, Alice?" he murmured, the desperation for the truth was evident in his voice. I grimaced and sat on the edge of the bed in front of him. I'd never explained before about vampires, but now I knew there was no other way around it.

"They did to you what they did to me eight years ago. They made me into what I am now." I paused, gauging his reaction. "Jasper, I'm a... vampire," I told him, my voice barely a whisper, but I knew full well he would hear me now.

The silent was unbearable as it stretched, coming between us like a large void, until it snapped back as I small growl escaped his lips. I could only watch as he shot up from the bed and sped form the room, down the stairs and out the door.

I didn't think as I dived out of the window, and sped after him into the forest. I found him only a few metres into the forest, sitting beneath a tree with his head in his lap. I slowed down as I approached him, hoping that he wouldn't run off again.

I didn't say anything as I knelt in front of him and took his face in my hands, I saw the pain and confusion in his eyes and my chest tightened as I took in his expression. I don't think as I moved closer to him, wrapping my arms around his frame. I held him close to me and closed my eyes. I knew that whatever it took to protect him, I'd do it.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I whispered repeatedly into his shoulder. "It wasn't supposed to be like this."

I felt a sudden rush of love and warmth as he tightened his hold around me, I couldn't understand where it came from, but it gave me strength.

We stayed like that, wrapped around each other on the forest floor, for hours, neither of us moved, neither of us said a word. But like most things, it had to come to an end, and it was Jasper's thirst that brought me abruptly back to reality.

"Why does my throat hurt so much?" he asked, his voice was quiet, barely a whisper to my ear as he spoke, he sounded as if he were in pain. I grimaced as I pulled back, when he saw me, his red eyes stared at me intently, his forefinger came out as he ran it along my forehead, trying to remove the worry filled creases in it.

My worry doubled as I brushed the hair from his eyes, I didn't know how I was going to explain to him about hunting, my own experiences had been gruesome. I did not wish for him to experience what I had.

"Jasper there is something we have to do, and I don't know whether you will like it," I began, my voice was solemn as I continued. "But it is a necessary way of life for you now."

"What is it, Alice?" he said, his voice was brimming with anxiety, the same anxiety was I feeling at this moment.

"Blood," I whispered, my voice was so faint, she quiet that no one else would be able to hear it apart from Jasper. "You have to drink blood."

He stared at me long and hard, his eyes looked deep into mine, he didn't say anything, he didn't move. He was frozen.

"Jasper?" I took his face in my hands and tried to get him to move, but his eyes remained staring into mine, he didn't even blink.

"Please Jasper, say something," I whispered urgently, I could feel the worry winding it's way through my chest, wrapping itself around every fibre of my body.

"How?"

His lips barely even moved but that one word was loud in my ears.

"I'll help you," I reassured him. "You don't have to do it on your own."

"Come on," I said as I stood up, holding my hand out for him to take. He slipped his hand into my own cautiously. I helped him to his feet, then once we were standing, I kept a strong hold on his hand as we started walking into the forest.

"You don't have to worry about it, Jasper," I told him, hoping that the sincerity in my voice would help him to believe. "It will come to you naturally, I promise."

He didn't say anything as we walked deeper and deeper into the forest, my senses were open at all times, the first scent I picked up, I would follow it.

When Jasper's hand tensed in my own I knew he had picked something up. I turned to look at him, curiously searching his face for any signs.

"What is it?" I asked, encouragement in my tone. "What is it you smell?"

"It's burns," he rasped, he sounded as if he were in pain once again. I grimaced, knowing full well what the burning thirst felt like.

"Just follow your senses," I told him, letting go of his hand as I spoke. "Don't think about it, go with your instincts."

He took a step away from me, his eyes were closed as if he were focusing solely on the scent, and then he was off, sprinting into the forest. I chased after him, keeping my distance, I'd only intervene when he needed me.

It was a stag that he found, the same animal I had hunted that day I'd first tasted animal blood, it was almost symbolic. I watched him as he stalked towards it, his moves were silent, his stance was deadly, as I had said, it came naturally.

He sprung like an animal attacking its prey, he landed on the back of the stag, his weight crushed the animal as they both fell to the ground. It was a strange sensation to watch him as he sunk his teeth into the neck of the stag and drank its blood.

It was so... sensual. When the emotions hit me, it took me completely by surprise, it was an emotion that I hadn't felt for a long long time, certainly not at this strength.

Lust.

I wanted him, and seeing him hunting like that, seeing the rawness of it all made the want multiply, made it grow in strength until it was all I could think about.

As Jasper finished feeding and he stood up, the body of the stag laying at his feet, he turned to me, his eyes full of fire and thirst as he stared at me.

I didn't see him move, it was only when I was flying backwards, my back slamming into the nearest tree, that I realised Jasper was attacking me. His hands held me down, his grip around my wrists was tight, his face was only inches from my own.

"What are you feeling?" he growled, a question I really wasn't expecting him to ask.

"What?" I asked, breathlessly.

"What are you feeling?" he repeated, his chest was heaving, even though he had no reason to breathe. "I can_ feel _it."

"I... I.. want...." My voice trailed off as I stared at him, there was something new in his eyes, something else burning within them. It only took me a second to realise what it was, there was desire, lust, want. He wanted me.

"What? What is it you want?" he asked, his voice was a low rumble in the back of his throat as he spoke.

"I want you," I growled, my voice thick with the unexpected desire.

His face, which was mere inches away, moved closer, my eyes were on his lips, as his were on mine. I inched closer, desperate for his touch. That was when the gust of wind blew between us, a recipe of scents engulfing us.

A feral snarl, born deep within his chest, escaped his lips, his grip on my wrists loosened and my arms fell down to my sides. And then he was gone.

"JASPER!" I screamed, taking off in the same direction.

My throat burned with the scent, making my own thirst rear its ugly head, I should have hunted with Jasper, this wasn't going to make the situation any better. I held my breath as I continued to run, I had to get to Jasper before he got to them. If I didn't, it would end if a grizzly massacre and I _couldn't _allow it to end like that.

I pushed my legs to their limit as I caught up with him, he was fast, faster than I was, but his mind was all over the place, the sweet scent of the humans was pulling him towards it. When I caught up with him, he was standing in the trees, his body crouched in a predator stance. The humans were out of sight, but they were close.

I could hear them, they were searching for something, they had dogs with them, it didn't take long to realise that they were the people searching for Jasper.

"Please Jasper, you don't want to do that," I said, my voice an urgent whisper. He turned to me, his eyes burning with the same fire before.

"That scent, it's pulling me, Alice," he said, his voice was strained, the thirst was pulling him apart.

"Please," I pleaded, my voice was bare, there was no underlay tone, there was just pleading. I held out my hand to him, knowing that if he didn't take it, if he ignored me, I wouldn't be able to stop him.

And then, as if he didn't stop to make sense of what he was doing, he took my hand, and even though I could still see the burning thirst in his eyes, I felt hope.

My hand wrapped around his tightly and we began running away, I didn't want to let his hand go until we were so far away that he wouldn't be able to smell anything even remotely tempting.

"What happened?" he asked, his voice was once again strained as if he was fighting against some inner demons.

"You caught the scent of a human," I told him, knowing that in this situation, sugar coating was not going to help.

When he didn't say anything, I turned to look at him, he looked as disgusted as I felt in that moment. I wasn't sure why I was feeling disgusted, I certainly wasn't disgusted at Jasper, he was only hours old, I wouldn't have expected anything more.

As soon as we got back to the house, I led him in through the door and up the stairs, his shirt was covered in blood from his first hunt. Without thinking, I removed the shirt an threw it to the floor in a shredded pile. I then took his hand, silently leading him towards the bed where we laid down together.

"Don't be disgusted in yourself," I told him softly, knowing that he was still feeling like that, I didn't say anything more as I wrapped my arms around him tightly and closed my eyes. I felt his arms wrap around my body and as he exhaled slowly I knew that he was calm, finally. It was the closest thing to sleeping we would ever get.

And that was how we stayed for the next two days.

* * *

Jasper's hand was clamped tightly around my own as we walked into the unknown forest, I had taken him further away this time, going somewhere I knew humans wouldn't be. I couldn't risk it, not today, not when I would be hunting with him.

I knew I shouldn't have left him two days with only one hunt, but it was easier to lay there and forget the world around us. But it all came back, my own thirst was forever present, and Jasper was thirsty. He was always going to be thirsty.

We had found a herd or deer, they were easy to catch, but far too small, Jasper took down four of them, I took down only one, hoping for a bigger catch. And so now, as we walked through the forest, I kept my senses open, hoping to find a carnivore, they always tasted better.

I caught the scent to the east of us, and it was definitely a carnivore, I smiled and turned to look at Jasper, who was looking a little worse for where. His shirt was torn, bloodied and muddy, unlike mine which was only slightly ruffled. We had used some of the clothes that had belonged to the man who had once lived in that house, until I could get him some proper clothes, it was all we had.

"Do you smell that?" I asked, watching as he closed his eyes and inhaled, I small smile formed on his face as he smelt it.

"To the east?" he said, his tone making it sound more like a question then a statement, he was still unsure of his senses.

"Go after it," I told him, my tone was encouraging, silently telling him that it was safe for him to let it take him over. He looked at me briefly and then he was off, sprinting towards where the scent originated from. I heard the grunts as he leapt, I heard the roars of the lion as he was attacked, even the sounds of its claws as it clawed at Jasper's rock hard skin.

I slowly glided over to where he was feeding, I could hear the satisfied growls that rumbled in the back of his throat, and just like before, as I watched him feed, I was overwhelmed by an unfathomable amount of lust.

I tried to shake it off, to ignore it, but it was futile, the more time I spent with him, especially when he hunted, the more it got worse. My desire for him just kept growing, and I knew, that if that thirst wasn't sated, then it would overwhelm me.

I sat myself down on a large rock and closed my eyes, it was peaceful out here, only the sounds of the wildlife broke through the quietness. It was so silent in fact, that I didn't even hear Jasper approaching, it was only when he was standing in front of me that I realised he was there.

"You're so calm," he murmured, his fingers tracing a pattern along the skin of my arm. I smiled at him, nodding in confirmation.

"I can feel it," he continued, his tone was a curious whisper. "I can feel your calmness, it feels... nice."

My brow furrowed at his words, he could _feel _my calmness? What did that mean? But as soon as he started to speak again, the thought was pushed to the back of my mind.

"I could also feel what you were feeling earlier, whilst I was hunting," he continued, his eyes were gloriously intense as he stared at me. "It felt nice, too."

I couldn't see anything else around me, Jasper was all I saw, he was all I heard. I stared at him, watching his every movement as he moved closer to me.

"I can't explain what I... feel... when I look at you, Alice," he murmured, his voice was a smooth baritone of perfection. "My mind hurts, it's like a constant buzz, there is always noise. But you're there, like a fixed point in my mind."

He inched closer to me, we were practically leaning over the rock now. "You're always on my mind... your face, your voice, even your smell."

He leaned forward then, so close now, that as he ran his nose along my jaw, inhaling softly, that I could feel his body pressing against my own. I closed my eyes, unable to control the emotions that were running through me. I let them out, allowing them to wash over me, to submerge me completely.

A growl grew in his throat and suddenly his lips were on mine, ravaging me in the most delicious way. Unlike the vision I used to have, his lips were not soft and full, they were not warm and tender, yet they were a whole new type of perfection.

My hands fisted in his hair as I crushed his body into my own, I realised now, as our lips moved against each others relentlessly, that I no longer had to worry about hurting him. We were immortal, unbreakable, there wasn't anything we couldn't do.

And as he pulled away, resting his forehead against my own, our chests heaving simultaneously with unnecessary breath, I knew that we would achieve anything together. Nothing would be able to stop us now, nothing could get in our way.

* * *

**A/N****: So... what did you think of that?**

**Don't worry, I'm not going to make Jasper the perfect vampire, trust me on that. He's not going to be like Bella who seemed to skip the whole thirsty phase, which also happened to be the biggest cop out in the history of cop outs. Anyway...**

**I have to say, I friggin' LOVE the kiss at the end, I was going to put it into the next chapter, but I couldn't reign those two in. They couldn't stop themselves from jumping on each other. I can't say I blame them myself.**

**If you want Jasper to kiss you like that, raise your hand *raises hand* now all of you with raised hands, you have to review.**

***glares***

**I saw you lowering your hand just then! You know who you are!**

**Now go review =)**

**And if that isn't enough, if you review, I'll send you an extra special teaser... but please, review? I'm SO grateful to those who do review, but I see the view count going up.. yet only a few people tell me that they like what they are reading.**


	20. Chapter 19

**A/N****: Chapter 19!**

**Biggest chapter to date, although I have a sneaky suspicion that chapter 21 is going to be bigger. I haven't actually written chapters 20 and 21. I'm in the process of writing them, I know what I want to write in them though, so it won't be too long before I finish those.**

**A big thank you to the guys who reviewed, you lot are awesome! You got the review total up to over 50! I squeal like a fan girl because to me, 50 is a lot.**

**You should definitely go to the 'Two Sides of Twilight' forum, it's the third in the Twilight forum list! :D It's so fun there!**

**Anyways... hope you enjoy the chapter. I just hope there weren't any errors in it, as I didn't have time to properly check through it properly myself.**

**Disclaimer****: As I said to a fellow forum goer, ****Jasper owns me like Stephenie Meyer owns Jasper.**

* * *

**Chapter 19 – I'm Sorry**

Only one thing seemed to revolve around and around in my mind, never really leaving my thoughts. And that was Esme. I knew that the police were searching for Jasper, trawling the forest and surrounding areas in hope that they would find something, a clue, a link, a god damn shoe. Anything.

But they couldn't find him. And if they kept searching, if they kept getting closer and closer to this house, then they would do. And I _couldn't _allow that to happen. I couldn't allow Jasper to commit mass murders if they came knocking. Because I knew without a doubt, that if they did turn up, then I wouldn't be able to control Jasper's thirst. And if blood was spilt, I knew that I wouldn't be able to control my own thirst either.

And that was why I knew we had to leave Forks, it was an imperative fact, one that I wasn't looking forward to carrying out. I didn't know where to go, nor did I know what to take or what to leave behind.

But before we left, before I chose where to take Jasper, there was one thing I had to do, something that I knew I shouldn't do, but at the same time, something I knew I couldn't ignore. I had to see Esme, I had to tell her that her son, now an unbearably sensitive vampire, was alive, yet gone from her life forever.

"What are you thinking about?" Jasper asked, breaking me from my train of thought. When I turned to look at him, his eyes were closed, he was in the same position as he had been in when I'd last looked at him. His legs were crossed in front of him, his hands were resting idly on his knees. His face was completely calm.

"I can feel your tension, what are you thinking about?" he said, still not opening his eyes. I frowned at him, he had said before that he could _feel_ my emotions, I didn't understand what he meant. At first I thought it was just a figure of speech, but now, when it was the third or fourth time of saying it, I began to wonder whether it meant something different.

"You're confused," he murmured, I heard his movement, it was merely his eyes opening, but I still heard it. I looked at him, looking into his bright red irises, I wondered how long it would take for them to change.

"Yes," I answered honestly. "I don't understand how you know what I am feeling."

A breeze blew in from the window and Jasper's attention was taken. I sighed and shook my head, it seemed that a newborns mind was easily distracted. He didn't seem to be able to concentrate on one task for long periods of time.

"What is that?" he asked as he half leaned out of the window.

"What?" I got up and came to stand next to him, I followed his line of sight, trying to see what he was seeing. I didn't see it.

"What is it you see?" I asked him, glancing at him briefly before scanning the area once again, I knew it wasn't a human, I would be able to smell them by now.

A low snarl rumbled in his chest and as I glanced at him I was overwhelmed with anger. Not even a second had passed as Jasper dived from the window, landing on the floor a second later and sprinting into the forest.

I dived from the window and followed him, but it was when I dived from the window, falling through the air, that I realised what it was Jasper had seen.

Casper.

Jasper was fast, too fast I feared. I knew that the only thing Jasper would remember would be when Marcus and Casper had taken him. And seeing Casper now would only make him remember what had happened. And it would be Casper he would blame.

"Jasper NO!" I cried as he dived at Casper who had walked out from the trees. Casper didn't even stop Jasper from pushing him to the ground, it was as if he was allowing him to do it. But I knew what it was like to be in that frame of mind, Jasper would be wild now, rabid with anger, he would tear Casper to pieces.

I sprinted forward, ramming into Jasper's prone form as he bent over Casper. Our bodies collided with a loud crash as I forced him off Casper, his body flew into the trees, slamming into the branches.

I growled viciously, my whole body alive with a hatred I didn't really understand. Casper backed towards me, his own, more animalistic snarl escaping his lips as he stepped in front of me, as if he were protecting me.

Jasper jumped down from the branch and stalked towards us, his teeth bared, his piercing red eyes directly on Casper.

"Alice, step back," Casper murmured as he stared at Jasper, his tone was protective, yet I didn't move, I wouldn't let them fight.

"NO!" I cried as Jasper jumped at us, his hands wrapping around Casper's throat in the same instant. "Jasper, no! Stop it!"

But he didn't listen to me.

I reached out and wrapped my hand around his wrist so that I could pull him away, but as I did, he used his other hand to push my away. As his slammed into me, my body was lifted from the floor and I flew backwards then crashed into the floor, digging a groove in the soil. I hadn't expected him to attack me or to fight me off.

Jasper had attacked me.

I closed my eyes and attempted to override the tightening pain in my chest as I cried inside. When I felt hands around my body, lifting me, carrying me away I still didn't open my eyes. But I knew who it was. I would always recognise Jasper's scent.

As soon as we were inside, Jasper crushed me against his chest, his hold around me becoming so tight that there wasn't any way of us being closer. I never once opened my eyes as he laid down together on the bed, nor did I open them as Jasper cocooned himself around me, effectively blocking out the world completely.

A wave of shame, disgust and sadness washed over me, but it was the crippling pain that knocked the breath from the body. It wasn't physical pain, _that_ I could handle. It was the emotional pain that really got to me, Jasper's emotional pain.

For it was in that moment that I realised the oh so obvious truth, Jasper was affected by other peoples emotions, he could project his own emotions onto others. And he was doing that to me now.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice was so faint, so broken that it broke my heart in two. I didn't say anything because I _couldn't _say anything.

I don't know how long we stayed like that but it couldn't have been more than twenty minutes later that someone jumped in through the window. I opened my eyes then, even though I already knew it was Shadow.

Jasper sat up then and turned to look at her, but he kept a tight hold of my hand.

"Where is he?" I asked, knowing that Shadow would have been with him. She looked down at the ground and sighed.

"He's gone, I don't know where, but I know he won't cause you any trouble," she murmured, a hint of sadness in her voice. "He came to see if you were alright and then to say goodbye."

I nodded slowly knowing that he was really gone and that I'd probably never see him again. "What should we do, Shadow? We cannot stay here much longer, the humans are tracking us, it won't be long before they come knocking at my door."

Shadow nodded in agreement, her expression solemn. "You must leave tonight and not return, not for anything," she told us. "You take what you need and destroy what you do not. There cannot be anything left of your life here."

I nodded yet again, for I already knew that, there wasn't a life here for us anymore. I turned to look at Jasper, who was staring at me, then I turned back to Shadow.

"There is one thing I have to do first," I told her as I turned to Jasper and reached for his watch and removed it. He watched me with curious eyes but did not question me about it. He did not know what I was doing, but Shadow did.

"Don't, Alice, you know you can't do that," she said in a stern voice, her eyes were filled with disapproval. I stared at her long and hard knowing she would never truly understand until she was in the same situation.

"But I have to, Shadow, there is no way my mind could be at ease unless I do this now, please, stay with him, keep him safe while I am gone," I asked of her. She stared at me for a long moment, her eyes silently pleading with me to change my mind. But we both knew I wouldn't, not now.

Slowly but surely, she nodded. "Do not tell them what we are, you can _never _tell them what we are, Alice," she said. I nodded at her one last time before walking to the window. And with one last look at Jasper, I jumped.

* * *

I didn't know how I was going to tell Esme what happened to her son without mentioning what he had become. But as I knocked on her door, I knew I didn't have long to work it out. As the door opened and she appeared I felt as if my whole body had been dunked in a huge vat of ice cold water.

Esme looked broken, unimaginably so, it was something I had been anticipating, but at the same time I wasn't ready for. She rushed forward then and wrapped her arms around me, but I couldn't return the gesture. For how could I comfort her over something I caused? Because it was me who did this to her, it was my interference in Jasper's life that did this to her. I was a monster.

When she pulled away from me and our eyes met, I stared deep into her eyes, they had lost all their sparkle, all their vibrancy and life. Because of me.

"What are you doing here?" she asked as she ushered me inside, I noticed then that Rosalie wasn't in the house. "I've been trying to find you for days now, even telling the police about you, and yet they do not find you anywhere in Forks."

I stared at her cautiously wondering where she was going with this. "I told them that you were here that day. I told them you were here looking for him as you were meant to be meeting him. For I know it was you he was meeting, Alice. I'm not stupid."

A single tear rolled from her eye as she spoke, I could see now that she was slowly driving herself mad. I didn't say a word as she led me into the main room, I knew I couldn't be here long, I had to tell her immediately. And so I reached into my pocket and slowly pulled out the watch and placed it on the table in front of her.

She stared at it, her eyes filling with more tears as she realised what it was. "What... where did you find that?" she asked as she picked it up. When she looked up at me, her eyes were frantic, desperate for some news on her son. The news that I didn't want to give her.

It's time I told you the truth, Esme," I told her, my voice was blank, devoid of any emotions, as was my face. "And I will start from the beginning."

I took a deep breath and began, knowing it wouldn't be easy to say what I know I had to. But I had no other choice.

"My name is Mary Alice Brandon, I was born in March of 1985. I should be twenty five years old now and living with a man named Jacob Black in West Haven in Portland."

Esme was silent as she listened to me, she didn't even comment when I said I should have been twenty five and living with a man she wouldn't know. And so I continued.

"It was July of 2002 when I was kidnapped from my family home in the middle of the evening, I was seventeen years old. I am _still _seventeen and I always will be seventeen."

"What did they do to you?" she asked, her voice was weak, she sounded as if she didn't want to know.

"I don't know," I lied, knowing that the truth would either kill her or _get_ her killed. "But what I do know is that what they did to me... they have now done to Jasper..."

Esme gasped, tears started to stream down her cheeks as she stared at me. "Oh my god. Is he okay? Where is he? Is he safe? Can I see him?" she asked. One demand after another. The fact that I couldn't answer her, not properly at least, was breaking my heart.

"Yes, he is okay and yes he is safe, he was _always _be safe," I murmured, my voice was yet again devoid of any kind of emotion. I hated that I had to be the one to tell Esme she could never see her son again.

"So where is he? You have to take me to him," she demanded desperately as she placed the watch down on the table as if she was about to get up.

"You... can't, Esme," I whispered. And finally the pain broke through the barrier in my mind and poured into those three small words.

"What?" she gasped. "What do you mean I can't? I have to see him! He's my son! HE'S MY SON!" she screamed, her voice broke and she wrapped her arms around herself as her body shook violently.

"It's not safe, Esme," I whispered, so quietly I was surprise she even heard me. "You can't see him... not ever."

It was then that her eyes glazed over, all colour draining from them at the same time. "Not... ever..." she breathed as if she had finally realised that truth. She didn't cry now, she just sat there staring into nothingness while her body shivered with something other than the cold. I knew now that this was the face of a woman who had lost their son, this was what it felt like. This was what I had done to her. And I would never be able to rid that image from my mind ever again.

And I knew that I had to leave, but there was one more thing I had to say. "I have one thing to ask of you, Esme," I said, not knowing if she could even hear me now. "I ask you to forget me, to believe that every conversation we ever had, never happened. You will forget my face and my voice, you will forget the clothes that you've seen me wear and the colour of my eyes. Because I promise you, Esme, that this will be the last time you'll ever see me. It will be as if I'd never existed."

I closed eyes then and tried to make myself move away, but I couldn't leave her, not like this, she needed someone to be with her to stop her from disappearing within herself as my mother had. I saw her phone on the side and made a split second decision to tell someone to come to the house. I found Carmen's number straight away knowing that she would be here for her friend.

I opened a new message and typed out a quick sentence.

Please come, I need someone here with me right now. The door will be unlocked.

After pressing send I placed the phone back down and walked to the door. Esme still wasn't looking at me. "I'm sorry, Esme, I'm so sorry," I murmured, my voice was faint, yet it was filled with sincerity and remorse.

And then she looked at me, her emotionless eyes boring into me as they slowly filled with tears once again.

"I'm sorry," I whispered once again, knowing it would never help her, not now. I turned away then and walked towards the door without looking back. I could never look back.

But just as I was about to open the door I heard Esme's intake of breath and the one word that was so full of pain and despair that it almost made me fall to my knees from it's intensity. "Jasper..."

I had to keep moving, I couldn't stop now or else I would never go. But even as I got outside, I couldn't bring myself to leave until Carmen had arrived, which she did minutes later, her brown hair was done up in an untidy bun. I watched as she ran up the steps to the door and opened it without breaking stride.

I only moved away when I heard her going to Esme, asking her what had happened. That was when I started running, I couldn't even take one last look at the house. I just ran blindly until I could not run any longer.

I didn't move for a full ten minutes as I let the guilt and shame of what I had done to Esme and her family wash over me. Even Jasper, the boy I couldn't live without, I had ruined his life completely. And seeing Esme like that now made me realise just how selfish I had been. I should have left Forks the day that Shadow warned me about Marcus.

And yet I didn't, I continued to maintain a relationship with Jasper even though I knew what was to come of our friendship. I had ruined Esme's life because I couldn't bear to be away from Jasper.

Another ten minutes passed before I pulled myself up and took a deep unnecessary breath, I would never forgive myself for doing what I did to Esme and Rosalie. But I knew that my new life was waiting for me just a few miles away.

When I jumped back through the window of my soon to be empty home, I found Shadow sitting across the room from Jasper, who was sitting by the window, waiting for my return. As soon as I was in reach, he took my hand in a tight hold.

"You shouldn't have done that," Shadow murmured as she stared at me, a grave expression on her face.

"Oh but I did, Shadow," I replied. "Maybe one day you will understand why I had to do that."

"Maybe," she answered. And then her expression softened and she pointed towards two suitcases by the door. "You need to start packing."

"Where did they come from?" I asked, they certainly weren't in this house, I would have found them by now.

"I got them from the other house."

"You _left_?" I cried incredulously. "I asked you to stay with him while I was gone!"

"He is old enough to look after himself, Alice, no harm would have come to him here," she replied, almost defensively. I raised my eyebrow at her, clenching my teeth from saying something I didn't want to. He was hardly old enough.

"You know what could have happened," I hissed. What if a human came by the house? It would have only taken a small breeze to alert him and he would have been gone. And the human would have been killed.

"Well clearly that didn't happen," she replied her tone was clipped. I sighed and closed my eyes so that I could calm myself down. It wouldn't help anyone if we fell out. Especially after all that she had done for us now.

"Okay, you two will need to help me," I said as I walked towards the suitcases and placed them open on top of the bed. I went to the wardrobe and opened the doors showing them what was to go into the cases.

With our speed, the process really didn't take very long at all. Every garment and belonging I wanted to take with me was in the suitcases, anything that was left over I told Shadow to take with her. I didn't know what Shadow was planning on doing with the house, but I knew that neither Jasper or I would be here to find out.

"So where are we going to go?" I asked Shadow. "I do not have anywhere else to go."

Shadow smiled at me and handed me a set of keys. "You remember seeing the information on the house in Canada? Well they are the keys, the place is yours."

My eyes widened as I stared from her to the keys and back again. "Are you serious?"

She nodded and smiled yet again. I could remember what that house looked like, it was a mansion, bigger than the other houses. And she was giving it to _me_.

"Wow, thank you," I breathed as I hugged her tightly. This really was one heck of a motive to leave.

"What should I do about Jasper's clothing?" I asked once we'd pulled away and turned back to Jasper. The clothes he was currently wearing barely fit him, he couldn't stay in them.

"Don't worry about that, when you get to the house in Canada there will clothing there he can use," she replied. "On top of that, there is enough money stored around the house that I doubt you'll ever run out of things you need."

Jasper and I both stared at her, our eyes wide in shock. I wasn't sure why Shadow was being _this _generous to us. But I would be forever grateful.

"So how do we get there?" Jasper asked, taking the words right out of my mouth. Shadow reached in her pocket and pulled out what looked like a PDA and handed it to him.

"GPS," she said as we both looked at it. "The location of the house is already entered, all you have to do it follow the directions."

"I used to have one of these," Jasper murmured staring at the GPS in her hand a little too intently. "Mom brought it for my birthday last year."

I froze. Shadow and I met each others eye, we both knew what it meant to see your family again after the change. Shadow knew especially what it meant to be around a family member when thirsty. And Jasper was the optimum of thirstiness.

"You both need to leave now," Shadow said, breaking the silence that had fallen over the three of us. I took the GPS from Jasper's hand and placed it in my pocket, replacing the GPS with my hand and holding onto him as tightly as I could.

"Yes, we need to leave," I agreed as I picked up one of the suitcases from the bed, it felt as light as a feather. They would be annoying to run with.

"But..." Jasper said slowly as if he was trying to think of something deep in his memory. I glanced at Shadow worriedly, he was beginning to wonder about his family and even though I wanted nothing more than to take him to see Esme and Rosalie for the last time, I knew that I couldn't.

"But..." he repeated, but this time he knew what he was going to say. "I should say goodbye to them. They would hate it if I left without saying goodbye."

He pulled away from me then and went towards the window, but my hold on his hand stopped him from moving any further. He turned back to me, an upset expression on his face as he looked down at our joined hands.

"Why are you stopping me, Alice?" he asked in a confused tone. "They would want to say goodbye to you as well."

I walked forward then, wrapping my arms around his body and burying my face into his chest. I inhaled his heavenly scent before I poured as much love, devotion and warmth into my mind, letting it flow through my whole body knowing that he would feel it. I felt his body relax against my own as I whispered two words to Shadow.

"Tell him."

"Jasper..." she began almost reluctantly, I knew she didn't want to tell him either. "You can't... your family... you can't see them."

His body stiffened against my own and I continued to pour the emotions into him, hoping that they were strong enough to keep him here.

"What?" he gasped. "Why? Why can't I see them?"

Shadow sighed and took a step towards him, I heard her movement. "Jasper you're a vampire, a newborn vampire. If you come in contact with a human, no matter who it is, you won't be able to control yourself."

"But... I..." His voice trailed away, I could already hear the defeat in his voice. He knew he couldn't see them again, not now at least.

"I'm sorry, Jasper," Shadow murmured as she rested her hand on his arm. "You know I wouldn't be saying this unless it was important."

"Do they know?" he asked, his voice was so full of pain that my own wave of love was overpowered by it.

"Yes," Shadow answered immediately, though I knew for a fact she didn't know for certain herself.

"Are they going to be okay?" he asked, this time there was worry filling his tone as he spoke.

"They will be," I whispered, knowing that Jasper would hear me. It was true, they would be okay one day. Time healed all wounds eventually, it just might take a lot more time for Esme than some might expect.

"Will I _ever _see them again?"

I closed my eyes again and took a deep breath. "Maybe," I murmured, trying to fill my tone with hope. I wasn't lying, maybe one day we would be able to return, maybe one day we would be able to see them again, but only when he was completely in control. And that could take years.

"Please, Jasper," I whispered. "We need to go."

I felt him shift against my body and I pulled away so that I could see his face. I could see it in his expression that he was torn between the idea of going to see his family and coming with me.

"Please," I begged one last time.

He quickly brought his hand up to my cheek and brushed the length of my cheekbone with his fingertips. "Please don't be sad," he whispered as he stared deep into my eyes. "If you say we need to leave then I will follow you, no matter where you may go."

I felt another wave of love wash over me, but this time I knew it was coming from him. And because of that, I opened myself to him, allowing him to fill me with the love he was feeling for me.

Shadow made a noise beside us which broke the reverie that was passing between Jasper and I, we both turned to her and saw that she had the suitcases now in front of us. Reminding us subtly that we really had to go now.

I pulled away from Jasper and walked towards Shadow to hug her goodbye. "Thank you," I whispered so quietly that even Jasper probably didn't hear me. I felt her nod briefly before pulling away.

The expression on her face was twisted, her eyes were sad, it was then that I realised that was what it looked like when a vampire was crying.

"I'll see you both again," she murmured as she looked between us. "It just might be a few years until our next meeting."

"Where will you go?" I asked her, knowing she too wouldn't stay in Forks.

"I don't know," she said, sighing. "I think I will travel, find others of our kind."

I nodded knowing that she would be incredibly lonely. If only Casper had been here, she could have spent time with him, they could have kept each other company.

Shadow stepped forward then and hugged Jasper briefly before pulling away and stepping back from us both. I picked up one of the suitcases as Jasper picked up the other one and stepped towards the window.

"Goodbye, Shadow," we said simultaneously as we looked at her one final time before jumping from the window.

I fished the GPS out of my pocket and looked down at it, finding the direction that we had to head in. I took hold of Jasper's hand as we began to run. When I knew we were about to go out of sight of the house I turned back to take one last look. _Goodbye_, I thought to myself before turning away and stepping into my new life.

* * *

It took us only one day to travel to the house in Canada, we rarely stopped running, we didn't need to take a break, we were both too urgent to get to our destination. We rarely came into contact with civilisation, most of the way had been through forests which also helped when we stopped to hunt.

But finally we were there, the large, lonely house stood in front of us. It was surrounded by trees on either for a good couple of miles, it was the most suitable of all the houses for Jasper, we wouldn't find any humans out here, not unless they were completely crazy.

"Wow," I breathed as I stared up at the house. "This place is _amazing_."

"I know," Jasper agreed as we stepped towards the front door, we hadn't even been inside yet and we already knew this place was going to be stunning. I unlocked the door quickly with the keys and stepped inside, we both stopped short at what we saw.

There was a grand staircase in the entrance, the walls were deep red, the staircases were wooden and rich in colour. Everything else was covered in dust sheets, but they wouldn't take very long to remove at all.

We placed the suitcases by the door and as I took hold of his hand, we started to explore. Each room got more magnificent than the last, each room had paintings and art work covering the walls, much like the house in Forks. Thankfully there were no portraits.

That was until we walked into one of the bedroom and we were both greeted by a large painting of a female. She was beautiful, her skin was pale white, her hair as dark as the night, her lips were parted in a smile as she stared at something unseen. You could tell, the artist who painted the picture truly loved the girl he was painting.

"Oh my god," I murmured as I stared up at the painting of the girl. She looked _just_ like me, uncannily so in fact.

"She looks just like you," Jasper said as he came and stood behind me. It was only then, as I leant forward to look at the picture closer that I saw the artists signature in the corner of the frame. The writing was faint, the curls of the letters were almost hard to read.

But it unmistakably read Casper.

I gasped quietly as I realised who it was that had painted this picture. "It is me," I whispered as I stared at my own face.

"What? How do you know?"

"Look," I said as I pointed to Casper's name. Jasper leant forward and read the name, when he stood back his expression was confused, as if he was trying to remember something.

"He loved you," he finally said. "I can see that in this picture, it was painted through the eyes of someone who was in love. I remember... he told me, he said he wanted to be with you forever."

I turned to look at Jasper and stared deep into his eyes. "And yet it is you that gets to be with me forever."

A magnificent smile formed on his face then as stepped forward and took my hand. "Come on, we haven't finished looking around."

And so we left the room, closing the door behind us. We left the painting in the room, effectively pushing it to the back of our mind. We would remember that painting again one day and when we did, we would remember who it was that had painted it and how he had impacted our lives, in so many different ways.

It didn't take us long to chose which room we were going to use as our 'bedroom', it was by far the largest bedroom in the house. It was on the top floor, which meant the view from the window was astounding.

We removed the dusk sheet from the bed, placing it in one of the large wardrobes. We then went back to the bed and sat down, it was the most comfortable bed I'd ever been on, even from my human years.

Jasper moved back across the bed and laid down. As soon as he was settled, I shuffled towards him and laid down next to him, wrapping my arm around his waist, entwining our legs together so that the whole of our bodies were touching. He wrapped his arms around my body and held me against his chest. And it was then, that I realised that I had never felt more safe, than what I did when I was lying in his arms.

We'd been laying on the bed for hours, it was so peaceful, so easy to stay in our own little bubble, to ignore everything else around us. But then Jasper sat up, a strange smile on his face as he got off the bed and went to the door.

"Wait here," he muttered before disappearing from the sight. I bolted upright, preparing myself chase after him. Even though we were miles from civilisation, it wouldn't take him long to find the nearest village.

But as soon as the thought came into my mind, he was back, a triumphant smile on his face. I noticed he had something in his hand as he knelt down in front of me.

"There's something I've wanted to do for a while now," he murmured as he showed me the stone he had picked up, he started to roll it between his two fingers as he spoke.

Then slowly he started to crush the pebble between his fingers until all that remained was a small amount of sand in the middle of his palm. When he had finished he looked up at me, the excitement was alive in his eyes. I couldn't help but smile with him.

"We're equal now, you and me," he said as he brushed the sand from his palm. "And I _will _be here forever."

My cold heart swelled then, the love I felt towards him multiplied and expanded, spreading through my body at an alarming rate. He leant forward then and brushed his lips against my forehead, allowing his lips to linger on my skin longer than necessary.

And as I closed my eyes, his last spoken words were ringing in my eyes.

_I will be here forever._

He will be here forever. _We_ would be together forever.

"I really like the sound of that," I murmured as a soft smile formed on his handsome face.

"Me too," he replied as he slowly leaned towards me, that smile never once leaving his lips.

And this time, as our lips met, I realised that his lips _were _soft and full, they _were _warm and tender. They were perfect. Just as I expected.

* * *

**A/N****: I feel like doing a massive AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW for that ending. Am I on my own with that one? Shame.**

**I'm so horrible to Esme, I actually am. I feel so sorry for her :(**

**And poor Casper! He went there to say goodbye to her, Jasper flips out and attacks him, and so Casper has to leave without seeing Alice again. Don't worry, Casper will be back, but not for another... three chapters :)**

**Now, please review and let me know what you liked about this chapter. And if you do review, I will carry over the special teaser I will send that has nothing to do with future chapters, it's something entirely new, but Safe Haven related. Anyway, if you review, I'll send it to you! Hah, I rhyme! **


	21. Chapter 20

**A/N****: Chapter 20!**

**No, your eyes are not deceiving you. This really is an update. You're probably wondering where the hell this story has been for **_**months**_**. I honestly haven't got an answer for you. I'm just really sorry.**

**Here is a recap of what has happened in the previous chapter: Jasper is now a vampire, Alice went to see Esme and told her that Jasper was safe, but she couldn't see her son again, and now Alice and Jasper are living in Canada. They now have their happily ever after…HAH, just kidding.**

**There is a slight warning needed before you read on. Alice and Jasper act like **_**vampires**_** in this chapter. There are deaths, and they are brutal. Consider yourself warned.**

**Disclaimer****: If I owned Twilight, then that would mean I'd spell words like 'realised' with a 'z'. Hale no. I'm just an English girl having too much fun with fanfiction.**

* * *

**Chapter 20 - Murdered. Together. Love.**

**Twelve Months Later**

It had been twelve long months since the day we'd left Forks and arrived at our new home in Canada, and it had been twelve long months since I'd last let Jasper out of my sight for longer than ten minutes. We'd done everything together, being all but joined at the hip. But we had gotten through his first year without any slip ups, and that was exactly what I wanted. It had been hard, but we had done it, and we were out of the worst part, or so I had thought.

We spent most of the day inside the house, and then at night we'd go out into the forest and sit beneath the stars. Or we'd sit at the high point of the forest, where you had a view of the city in the distance. It was peaceful during those moments; they were the times that I most looked forward to.

We hunted at least twice a week, if not three or four times. I hated to see the red in his eyes, and it took over three months for the redness to fade and slowly turn into the golden colour mine were. But at long last, the red was completely gone, and he didn't look like a monster the red eyes reminded me of.

"Can we try it again?" Jasper asked, breaking me from my reverie. I looked over at him and saw his gold eyes filled with determination. We had been trying to fine tune his empath ability so that he didn't keep forcing what he was feeling on the people around him. Being the only person that _was _around him, I was always on the receiving end. At times, it wasn't easy to separate what I was feeling with what he was making me feel.

"Sure, sure," I said as I turned to face him completely. I closed my eyes and worked on calming my body down so that I wasn't feeling a thing. This was what we did every time we tried this method. I would try my best to shutdown my emotions and allow him to push his own emotions onto me one at a time. But because his mind was still young, I was usually overwhelmed with different feelings and I would end up exhausted. It would be a long time before he perfected the ability.

At first I didn't feel anything, but then slowly I started feel a small wave of admiration wash over me. I wanted to open my eyes, or smile at him for feeling that way. But I knew that as soon as I do that, he would lose control and it would all come gushing out.

I spoke too soon.

The admiration was soon washed away by determination, love, disgust, shame, desire, lust, thirst and a hint of sadness. It happened like that every time we tried. He would manage for a few seconds, but then he would overload, as if he was running out of breath, and suddenly it would all come flying out in one large swoop.

"I'm sorry," he said, exhaling heavily. It always took a lot out of him each time we tried, and I hated to see him looking so disappointed. I shuffled forward so that I was kneeling in front of him then I took his face in my hands and kissed his forehead.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," I whispered. He brought his hands up so they rested over my own. We stayed like that for a while, just staring into each other's eyes. It was peaceful out here, quiet. What I didn't realise, was that we were close to humans.

"Shall we hunt?" Jasper asked, breaking the silence. "It will help take my mind off things."

I nodded, I would agree to anything if he said it would help. I should have known not to let him hunt in this area, but I was too busy relishing in the touch of his hand in mine to realise.

I let go of his hand so that he could give himself into the hunt. I had hunted yesterday, so I wasn't feeling thirsty. If I hunted now, it would only because I felt like it, not because I needed it. Besides, I preferred to freely observe Jasper as he hunted.

I watched as he sprinted off into the forest and out of sight. I didn't chase him straight away, giving him some space. I could still hear him, as well as the pulsing heart of the animal he was pursuing. I should have checked for other scents, I always did when Jasper hunted alone. Why was today so different?

It was when I heard the feral snarl, a snarl that shouldn't have been born from hunting an animal. It was the reaction to human blood; I'd heard it many times before. I should have seen it coming. I had been anticipating it, after all.

I took off into the trees, opening my senses as I ran. Sure enough, the scent hit me like a ton of bricks. It was sweet, cloying and extremely tempting. I held my breath, knowing that if I didn't inhale the scent, I would have more of a chance at being able to stop Jasper from doing something he would later regret.

I pushed forward as soon as I caught a glimpse of him. He was sprinting in circles around where I knew the humans would be standing. I knew the scent of their blood must have been driving him into frenzy; I could remember the first time I smelt it. I shuddered.

There were two humans; they were talking between themselves, bickering over who was to blame for getting them lost in the forest. I gritted my teeth as the monster inside tempted me to inhale.

"Jasper?" I exclaimed, my tone cautious. My voice wasn't loud enough for the humans to hear.

I should have just charged at him, or knocked him to the ground. Anything would have sufficed, but I didn't. I spoke to him, and his thirst riddled mind could only interpret my movements as one thing. He thought I was trying to take the humans for myself.

He snarled, loud enough for the humans to hear, and then dived through the trees towards them. Their screams were short lived, and even as I pushed through the trees after him, he was already in front of them. He was already too far gone for me to stop it, I knew that.

"Jasper, _NO_!" I screamed as his hand shot out and grabbed at the female's neck.

"_Charlotte_!" the male roared as he dived at Jasper in an attempt to save, who I could only assume was his girlfriend. Jasper snarled, a sound so terrifying that it scared even me, and barged the man out of the way with his arm. There was an audible snapping sound as Jasper's arm connected with his chest. He had undoubtedly shattered the man's ribcage, killing him before he touched the ground.

The female screamed and thrashed against Jasper's hold around her neck, but her movements were futile as Jasper flicked his wrist sharply, and with a sickening crunch, her neck was broken. I chose that moment to charge at Jasper, even though I already knew I wouldn't be able to do anything. I just had to try. He'd already killed them both, but he hadn't tasted their blood, yet.

I latched onto him and tried to pull his arm away. But he was only just past the newborn phase, which meant he was still stronger than me. So as he slammed his hand into my chest, just like he had done with the male, he easily pushed me away from him.

My feet were lifted off the ground from the force of it. I had been expecting it, yet it still surprised me when I crashed into a nearby tree and completely shattered one of the branches.

That was when the scent hit me. It wasn't faint like before, it was stronger, _much_ stronger. He had broken her skin. He had spilt her blood, and as I watched him feed on her, it wasn't lust that took over my body. No, this time, it was pure, unbridled thirst.

I sprinted forward; my throat was on fire, like a burning inferno. I was at his side a second later, and I sank my teeth into the first piece of skin I could reach. It was her arm I reached for, and in my desperate for the taste of human blood, I dislocated her shoulder, breaking more of her bones.

The warm, tantalising blood flooded down my throat, making me draw it from her body quicker, making me drink deeper, as if I was a famished traveller taking its first drink of the day.

With the both of us feeding on her, she ran dry long before either of us were finished. I loosened my grip at the same time Jasper did, and the lifeless body fell to the ground at our feet.

It was in that moment, as the euphoria faded, I realised what we had just done. I looked down at the ground, at the drained body at my feet, then towards the broken man, laying only a metre away from us, both of them dead. They had been murdered in cold blood for the sake of our thirst.

I turned then, my movements slow because I knew what I was about to see. My eyes landed on Jasper, and as he turned to look at me, my gaze zeroed in on the blood red irises that had replaced the golden colour that once resided there.

As he looked me dead in the eye, I fought to control my emotions. I was confused, sad, disappointed, shocked, satiated, disgusted and guilty. Each emotion overlapped the other, making it hard for me to distinguish which was stronger, and which were my own feelings and not what Jasper was forcing on me.

Without stopping to think about anything more, I turned away, sprinting into the forest, leaving the Jasper and the massacre scene behind me. I was heading in the direction of our home, but my mind was too full of thoughts for me to concentrate properly.

_What had I done? What had I allowed to happen? Why was I not more careful? What made today so different, that I didn't carry out the usual checks? How could I face him now, knowing that I had let him down? How could I look in his red eyes, knowing it was my fault he'd killed someone?_

Each question swam around and around in my mind, and every time I was reminded that they were unanswered, it would feel like another stab at my stone cold heart.

I knew that if I was able to cry, then the tears would have been streaming down my cheeks. I could hear Jasper running behind me, but I pushed my legs harder, not wanting to slow down, or let him catch up with me. I knew what he would do; I knew how he'd be feeling.

This was the first time he'd tasted human blood. But worse than that, it was the first time he'd taken someone's life. The loathing and disgust that he was sure to feel would be strong, and I didn't know how to deal with it, knowing it was my fault.

When I got back to the house, there was nowhere else I could go, and I had to face him. I heard him walk up behind me, but he didn't reach out to me, and I didn't turn around, not at first, at least.

"Alice…"

I could hear it in his voice. It was strained, even though he'd only said my name, I still knew. He was trying to hold back what he was feeling, trying not to let me know how bad it was. He must have felt my emotions before and sensed that I was feeling guilty for this.

But I knew, like always, he wouldn't be able to hold it back for long. So I braced myself, knowing that it was going to be bad. But nothing could have prepared me for the real thing.

The shame, when it hit me, made my knees buckle under the weight of it. I could feel it crawling its way through my body, tainting every fibre of my being with its murky colour. I knew that my own shame wasn't a tenth of what he was feeling right now.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, and even my voice sounded different, almost as if I was in pain. He didn't react to me words, nor did he react when I stood up and sprinted from the room. I was running away, deserting him, doing the one thing I never wanted to do. But the shame and disgust was too much, I couldn't handle it. I didn't know what to do.

So I hid in one of the rooms on the top floor. I curled up into a ball on the floor and let the shame of deserting Jasper when he needed me the most wash over me. I knew, as I curled up tighter, that once again, what I was feeling was nothing compared to what Jasper was going through.

I don't know how long I stayed there, but the light from the window faded and brightened, alerting me of the changing of the day. Yet I still didn't move, nor did I hear any movements from Jasper. Not one sound.

Time passed by, even when I wasn't aware of it.

* * *

I knew the exact moment he moved. It wasn't that I heard him, as he didn't make a sound. I just knew.

However, I did hear him make his way up the stairs, and I did hear him walk into the room I was in. I should have gotten up, I should have ran to him and told him that I was sorry and that I should have been more careful. I should have done a lot of things. But I did nothing, and when he approached, I kept my eyes tightly closed, wondering what he was about to do.

I felt him crouch down next to me, and a second later, his arms were around me and his body was cocooned around mine, just like the day, a year ago, when he attacked me.

We remained in the same position for a long time. Neither of us said anything, but a part of me knew that was because in that moment, there was nothing we _could_ say.

It was many hours later that Jasper finally moved. He still kept his arms around me, but I knew that he was ready to talk about it.

"I'm sorry," he finally whispered.

As his apology registered, I sat up and turned so that I could see him properly. I took his face in my hands so that he couldn't look away from me.

"Now you listen here, Jasper, you're not the one that should be apologising. You hear me?"

He diverted his eyes, and I knew that he didn't believe me.

"Look at me," I murmured softly. "I should have paid more attention to what was going on. I've spent the past year trying to prevent this exact thing from happening. I hate myself for letting you down like this."

"But I killed someone, Alice." His voice was childlike, broken, and it tore my heart in two.

"I know," I said with a sigh. "But it is who we are, and as much as I wish it wasn't true, this will happen again. When it does, we'll be here to help each other through, no matter what, okay?"

He nodded slowly, still not looking me in the eye. "How long will they be this colour?"

"I don't know," I answered truthfully. "Around two weeks, maybe more, maybe less. I'm hoping that the more we hunt, the quicker they'll change colour."

He nodded, but his expression was morose. I cuddled closer to him, resting my head against his heart. His arms tightened around me once again, and I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing this hadn't happened.

"I don't know how I'm going to do this."

My expression crumpled at his words. I didn't know how either of us was going to do this. All I knew was that we had to get through it together.

I buried my face into his chest and inhaled his scent. It calmed me down, and helped me to push the problems to the back of my mind.

"Together," I said in a soft voice. "We'll do this together."

I knew at some point I would have to go back to where it happened and burn the bodies. But right now we needed each other, and I wasn't going to leave his side for a long time.

* * *

Four weeks had passed since the day we'd both slipped up, and even though our eyes had returned to the golden colour they'd once been, it still affected Jasper greatly. At first, he was too nervous to even hunt, but after my encouragement and assurances that nothing would happen, he got back into a routine.

For both our sakes, we stuck together whilst we hunted. It wasn't that I didn't trust him, for I trusted him completely, it was that Jasper didn't trust himself, and he insisted I stayed with him.

Thankfully things had slowly fallen back into place, and we were currently in the middle of the clearing outside the house. I was lying down with my head in his lap. His left hand was resting on my waist whilst his fingers on his other hands were running through my hair.

"You know we can always go out further to hunt," I told him, like I had so many times in the past week. It wasn't as if we didn't have animals to hunt around here, quite the opposite in fact. It was that the animals here were _boring_. There was no competition, no _fun_.

"I don't know," he murmured, sounding awkward.

I sighed. "Come on, Jasper, are you telling me you like hunting deer and other equally as small animals?"

I watched as a frown formed in between his eyes. "It... does the job."

"Does the job? Oh, sure, it does the job," I muttered, my tone getting more teasing by the second. "Maybe later we'll go fetch a couple of rabbits, as I'm sure they'll _do the job_, too."

"Oh, you're so funny, Alice," he deadpanned. He glared at me, though I knew he wasn't serious. I was about to respond when I remembered someone saying that exact thing. I hated to think of the girl who had been at Jasper's house that night he'd… I couldn't even think of the word.

I sat up, an awkward aura surrounding me. When I looked at him, he stared right back, his brow furrowing in confusion as he leant away from me. He knew full well there was something on my mind, and from the look in his eyes, I knew he was going to try and find out what was wrong.

"What is it, Alice?" he asked as he removed his hands from around me, I could tell he was giving me space, not pressuring me into answering him. But I could feel his curiosity; he wasn't hiding it very well.

"It's just what you said reminded me of something I…overheard…" My voice trailed away from me as I looked away from him.

"What did you hear?" he asked, his brow furrowing slightly.

I bit my bottom lip into my mouth, wondering if I was really going to bring this up. "I heard you with… a girl."

"Oh." He pursed his lips as if pondering how to answer.

If I were human, my cheeks would have flared a deep red colour. I shouldn't have said anything, but a part of me knew that Jasper would have known that I was lying.

I peaked up at him through my eyelashes and saw that he was staring at me. I diverted my eyes, feeling embarrassed.

"Was she your girlfriend?" I whispered as jealously flared in my chest at the thought of Jasper having a girlfriend before meeting me. As soon as the emotion filled me, I began regretting bringing up the topic even more. Within a second, he would have been able to read my emotions.

I peaked up at him once again and was surprised to see that he was smirking at me. I groaned internally, he could definitely feel my jealously.

"Are you jealous?" His tone was teasing, and he sounded _far _too happy about the prospect.

I looked up at him, feeling completely mortified that he knew. "No!"

His smirk grew wider. "You are, aren't you?"

I shook my head quickly then stood up, spun around and sprinted towards the house, knowing I wouldn't be able to get away from him. I could hear him laughing as he followed behind me. Jasper was faster than me, which meant he was deliberately letting me get away. Then suddenly, I felt his hands around my waist and he spun me so that I was facing him.

Seconds later, my back was against the wall. I bit my lip as his whole body pressing into mine. I suddenly felt the emotions shift into a much more delicious one. His lips crashed down on mine, the force of it breaking the wooden panel behind me.

I tangled my fingers into his hair as I pulled him closer to me. The wood behind me groaned with pressure, but neither of us stopped. We continued in our unrelenting battle against each other, knowing already that neither of us would win.

But slowly, his lips left my own and started to travel a blazing path down my jaw line to my neck.

"Her name was Tanya Denali," he murmured, his lips moved against my skin as he spoke. "She wasn't my girlfriend, and never would have been. She was just some girl. She was easy, and used me as one of her many conquests. I wish I hadn't let it happen."

I smiled and grabbed his face so that he was looking at me. "Good," I whispered before pulling his lips to my own once again. Although, in the back of my mind, I wondered how any girl could use Jasper like that. After one taste, I wouldn't have been able to give him up. That girl, and any other girls he may have been involved with, was crazy.

His hands travelled down my body and he hoisted me up, so that my lips were level with his. My legs easily wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer. I felt the vibrations of his growl travel through my lips as he gently started to grind and thrust his hips into mine.

_Gently_. No, that was not the right word to use. It was gentle to a vampire, I guess. But with each thrust, the wood panels behind me smashed and splinted. If I were human, my pelvis would have shattered with each gyrate. But I wasn't human, I was a vampire, and the way Jasper carried me towards the bed, just wouldn't have been possible.

It was a pretty four poster bed, with a lace covering over the top. But the moment we tumbled onto the bed, it was the last thing I thought about. My clothes too, were pretty, but those were forgotten as he tore them from my body, reducing them to shreds.

"You're beautiful," he said as he dipped his head towards my body and kissed every inch of my skin. "You're perfect, and you're mine."

As he spoke, he inched back up my body so that his face was level with mine once again. I looked deep into his eyes, and tried to understand how it was possible to love someone as much as I loved him in that moment.

He beamed at me, and I felt a wave of happiness wash over me. I knew that it was Jasper's doing, and I smiled back at him, telling him that I liked it.

"Close your eyes," he whispered. "I want to show you something."

My brow furrowed momentarily, considering he wanted to show me something, wouldn't I need my eyes open? But I closed them nonetheless, trusting him completely.

I felt his hands slip into mine, and I curled my fingers with his instinctively as he rested his forehead against my own. The length of his body was touching mine, and even though my clothes were now torn, and my body naked before him, I felt completely at ease.

It was slow at first, like a fog washing over me. However this fog was warmth, happiness and love, and its richness filled me completely. I wanted to open my eyes and look into his, but I kept them closed, knowing that if I opened my eyes, it may ruin the moment.

The emotions coursing through me were so strong that my silent heart felt as if it was going to beat, and my tearless eyes felt as if they were going to cry. Never had I felt something as pronounced as this, and I knew that nothing, except Jasper, would ever feel like this about me again.

"This is what I feel when I'm with you, Alice," Jasper began, his voice even quieter than before. "I always tried to hold it back because I was afraid that it would overwhelm you, or that the intensity would scare you. But I felt your emotions just now, and it made me realise how stupid it was to ever think that my love for you would scare you away. As I do love you, Alice, and I don't know why I haven't told you sooner because I've love you for such a long time now."

As he finished speaking, I slowly opened my eyes and looked directly into his. Without his declaration, without feeling his emotions, I knew that after one look in his eyes, I still would have known he loved me as much as I loved him.

"I love you, Jasper Whitlock," I murmured. "I love you more than I've ever loved anything in my life."

He leant down and pressed his lips against mine, giving me a deep, and sensual kiss.

As he pulled away, he let out a contented sigh. "I didn't know it was possible to be this happy."

I gave him a brief smile before pulling him closer once again. I knew that tonight would be the first time we made love.

* * *

**A/N****: Right now, I don't know why this took me so long to write, but it did. So please take a small amount of time to leave me a review. It would mean a lot.**

***cries* I killed Peter and Charlotte!**

**I know the start was full of angst, but the ending was cute. So that made up for it.**

**For now I have marked this story as complete, as I lost the muse to finish it :( Maybe one day you'll see the true ending. For now, I just want to thank everyone who has read, reviewed and helped me with this story. Wouldn't have been the same without you.**


End file.
